Rooftop Ride | October 15, 2014 | Comments (2)




Last week’s awe-inspiring Blood Eclipse Retrograde Nightmare Moon Deluxe™ left quite a cosmic wake. More about that in a little minute. I can’t be the only one experiencing growing trust issues with Susan Miller, or grappling with this crazy month.

Did you know that I’m an Aries? Well, I am.  The zodiac’s mindless headbanger. Harumph.



October 10th was supposed to be a dream, according to dear Miller. A golden, gorgeous, champagne dream of a day, behold:

October 10 brings one of the happiest days of the month…By October 10, a golden triangle will click into place in the sky and help you enormously…you will adore October 10…Mars will be in the best possible angle to Jupiter, also October 10, a blessing that will color the effects of the eclipse in a very upbeat way…One of your most fortunate days of the month: October 10, when Jupiter and the Sun will collaborate on your behalf and Mars will be in the right angle to help you too. 


“Hey, can you see any golden triangles from there?! Not yet? OK, cool.”



The true story is that on October 10, 2014, our trusty nine-year-old Pontiac Vibe – the one with the gay Obama bumper sticker, the one still proudly repping Oakland after a cross-country trek with two foul dog-beasts panting in 100-degree heat the entire way, the one that often smells like a barn, the one we planned to hand down to the petite (who finished driver’s ed recently and is starting behind-the-wheel lessons soon) when she was at long last a licensed driver, the one we paid off ages ago – was felled by a Masshole. With us in it! 

The infamous Massachusetts Left. The driver was cited for failing to yield (we had the green light). The car is quite possibly totaled, and we were shaken up pretty good in the process. Thankfully we’re both okay, and triple-thankfully the kiddo wasn’t in the car to experience the whole thing. (We were on our way to pick her up from a friend’s house!)


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Now we have a rental, a police report, and are cleared of injuries, but waiting to see what the verdict is on the car. Not only did the accident dismantle October 10’s golden triangle on a Friday night, it hosed our 3-day weekend! VERY RUDE!

Looking on the bright side (beyond being safe and sound, which is The Most Important), we finally booked our holiday vacation, my tender colleagues did actual happy dances when I got back into the office today, and life in general is swimming along prettily on all fronts. We’re jumping in headfirst to all this college planning with the petite, which is overwhelming and so exciting, albeit bittersweet. (Honestly, bittersweet doesn’t do it justice – the feeling is unimaginably beautiful and devastating.)



I’ll leave you with this last little gem. It landed on my screen earlier tonight, and completely turned my week right-side up!

I just wanted to say how much I love reading and looking at FFAF! There are days when I just need to get through the day and be ok or I’m feeling super lonely, it makes me feel less alone reading your lovely blog and it’s so inspiring. Thanks for being a positive femme voice!

Uniqlo Leggings Pants || Lion Print Top – H&M || Long Field Jacket – J. Crew || Leather Riding Boots – Wythe NY (Gilt) || Beaded Wood Necklace – Gift from India! || Ring – House of Harlow


SBJ @ 10:14 PM

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State Park | October 9, 2014 | Comments (0)

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We had a little heat wave sneak back and dance around over the last week or so, presumably in solidarity with the West Coast. A small group of us decided to have one last hurrah al fresco at Hungry Mother’s wily and tasty new sibling restaurant, State Park, also in Kendall Square in Cambridge.

Those crazy pants masterminds serve delicious pitchers of Pimm’s Cups or Tom Collins right to the table. What else are you gonna wash down fried cheese curds, fried oyster po’boys, fried chicken and collard greens with – water!? Don’t be crass.


I broke out this maxi dress one last time and topped it with a natty little houndstooth vest I picked up at the final Providence Flea of summer because SEPTEMBER. As we wrapped up our meal, a bluegrass band began to warm up and we decided to make ourselves cozy and stay awhile longer inside.


Some sort of Virginia malarkey! Hungry Mother State Park is an actual thing, which I did not know. I do know that it’s kind of a blast in terms of decor, which you’ll see more of below, and some truly epic dioramas are displayed in a big side room. All the little teensy tiny people camping or hanging out lakeside with their wee bitsy bums!

The thought of someone making mini people the size of an ant and carefully ensuring that each of them got a shapely rear end just really amuses me for some reason. (I’m guessing Pimm’s, although I’m quite sober now and still rather tickled.)

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I love this vest. I’ve also worn this belt more recently, it’s definitely got a whimsical Western vibe and just has great details and proportions, especially with that ornate brass buckle that doesn’t overwhelm. My Brooks Brothers crystal pendant and feather earrings from way back when I went to FemmeCon in Oakland for jewelry, along with a mix of J. Crew and Madewell cuffs.

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Horse looks freakishly realistic, is actually some sort of magical painted tin folk art. The bluegrass was fantastic, I wish we could have stayed longer to enjoy it but after some shuffleboard, pinball and that epic dinner outside, we were ready to call it a night after 3+ hours.


That tomboy look is nothing but trouble. You can see that she, too, seized the warm weather moment and trotted out her shark shorts and Ray-Bans one last time.

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Dress: The Addison Story || Vest: Providence Flea || Chunky Peep-Toe Shooties: Jessica Simpson || Belt: Vintage || Sunglasses: Warby Parker || Crystal Pendant: Brooks Bros. || Asst. Cuffs: J. Crew, Madewell

Hope you enjoyed this post – I’ll get into some autumnal duds here soon, and my DC trip is around the corner, but this is definitely a solid recommendation if you’re ever in town – either State Park or the fancier, sit-down Southern decadence you’ll find at Hungry Mother.

Friendly Toast is just around the corner, in fact, so one could have a fantastic day brunching there in the morning, checking out The Garment District’s three stories of insane secondhand, vintage, costume and new clothing and accessories, brave Cambridge Antique Market a short trek away, come back for lunch at State Park, catch an indie flick at Kendall Square Cinema, and then discuss over an amazing meal at Hungry Mother. And then not eat for like a week, because you’d be absolutely stuffed.

Be sure to check out the adorable post at Autostraddle featuring 21 super cute and badass QPOC couples. We’re in it!


SBJ @ 7:51 PM

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The HuffPost Live Butch-Femme Face-Off | September 28, 2014 | Comments (0)

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Last week I took part in a panel on HuffPost Live about butch and femme privilege. The live segment sought to address how lesbians face different challenges because of their gender identities, specifically down butch-femme lines. Our fantastic host, Caroline Modarressy-Tehrani, asked why there’s so much infighting in our community over who has less privilege – butches or femmes.

It was not lost on me that the majority of the panel represented websites for MOC folks – I was joined by Anita Dolce Vita (who is marvelously femme and a dear pal) at dapperQ, St. Harridan’s Mary Going and Mo Willis of Bklyn BoiHood – wildly popular (and necessary) havens for bois of color, dappers uninterested in femming it up, and a Bay Area-based maker of masculine suits re-engineered for women and transmen. The truth is those sites are more or less Goliaths powered by teams of people compared to the little one-woman show that is Fit for a Femme, so we also touched on how deep and rich butch resources are on the internet and how that might be closely connected to the fact that there is so little media representation of butch women in pop culture.

HINT: This doesn’t count!

Any time a group can’t find themselves in the media, they tend to create that space for themselves on the web. Femmes crave that same community, which makes it an even bigger shame that one of our biggest online and “IRL” spaces – FemmeCon – won’t be happening next month in Atlanta, GA. Of course, Southern femmes, and especially Southern femmes of color and trans femmes, are being hit the hardest by that lack of community. But a femme can dream, and we’ll get there one day.

Watch the entire segment below and let me know what you think in the comments!


SBJ @ 11:14 PM

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South End Sunshine | September 11, 2014 | Comments (0)


Sunday brunch with friends is one of the greatest pleasures in life. Since our closest friends here are planning a move that’ll take them five or six hours away from us (and so much closer to both their families – makes it very difficult to put up a fuss of any sort!), we’re trying to squeeze in as much time together as possible before they embark on their next adventure of home ownership in rural PA. They are done, done, done with city life – a sentiment I’m hearing more and more of from my peers on both coasts – but one I’m not ready to share just yet.

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We chose one of our favorite South End spots, since we could just take a short stroll to make the tomboy’s afternoon hair appointment and do a little window shopping whilst out and about. It was a glorious day, super warm with beautiful blue skies, and lots and lots of open studios. There also happened to be a film crew blocking off streets and everyone in the neighborhood who owned a canine was out and about, parading fancy breeds around.


Cheeky tomboys in the phone booth with their haircuts.


We brunched at the Buttery, but while the tomboys sat at the barber, the other femme and I decided to pop into The Gallows for a bit of refreshment. I’m a sucker for any drink with the name “Albemarle” in it, heaven help me.


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I have two of these James Perse dresses – one in this safari green, another in black – and they are insanely comfortable and easy to wear. Perfect for a day like this, but I’ll easily wear both into autumn with tights and boots and cardigans or leather. The best part is I found ‘em both for a song, brand new.


Some funky accessories like this vintage elephant belt, an antler tine pendant wrapped in a bullet casing with a gold bear on it, and an old estate sale LV clutch brought the whole Lesbian Zookeeper Chic look together, along with a pair of chunky sandals in tan leather.




The living garden wall in the vestibule at The Gallows.

Guess what? This weekend we’re celebrating our sixth wedding anniversary with a little getaway. Things have been wonderful but busy with the new school year, wrapping up my first month at the new job, and the usual start-up hustle for M. Plus, we’re learning from the past two fall seasons and getting a jump-start at preparing for cooler weather; bringing the firewood rack up from the basement and getting our kiln-dried wood ordered, clearing porch and patio furniture, we had a chimney sweep in last weekend, replaced our water heater a little while ago and are seeing to a few other good housekeeping things to get in order before the storms come down and that’s that. And I’m headed to DC next month – it’ll be my first time there, and I’m not even a little bit sad it’s on business!


SBJ @ 11:30 PM

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Wingaersheek Chic | September 4, 2014 | Comments (1)


Welcome to Wingarsheek Beach! It’s a Gloucester gem, a North Shore nod from Ann to Cod, a literal clamdigger’s dream at the sweet spot between a rock bottom low tide and when the waves begin to lap their way back to shore.


If traffic’s good, it’s only an hour from home, with plenty of nearby parking for a mere $15 (NO BARRELS!), the holy grail of snack shacks, clean and spacious restrooms, gorgeous warm water with lots of rocky, rugged interest that doesn’t interfere with soft, fine sand, and beach-goers from all walks of life. In other words, a real keeper of a beach.




Even with September underway, I think there are still a handful of beach weekends left yet in 2014, which is par for the course back home but not always true to old Boston town. And we have a sailing lesson to bang out before October! And a horseback ride through the Berkshires! I think we were both hoping that chunky, creamy fisherman sweaters would be appropriate for both, but we’ll have to wait and see.



For now, it’s still sweltering enough for linen trousers and silk tanks, but nothing to justify round-the-clock A/C.

Perfect, really.

It’s kind of insane and overwhelming how many beaches there are to try out and explore here, when you think about it. It’s so foreign! I’m used to Temescal vs. Anza, Baker vs. Ocean, Stinson vs. Funston; divisive contests of scarcity and the somewhat arbitrary pride of locals. Here I get the sense that even if you grew up in the area, you still haven’t explored every beach, every apple orchard, every historical site, every lobster shack, every prestigious university.

(But then again, I haven’t been to every ski resort in Tahoe, or every vineyard in the wine country…)


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M was delighted that there was plenty of gross dead stuff to pillage, and people dug for clams like whoa. Piles and piles and wagons and coolers full of them! It was astonishing. I haven’t seen anything like it since I was a girl and got dragged all over the Pacific Coast while my folks amassed obscene amounts of fresh abalone, sulking from the shore with the wind pushing sand into my little eyes.

And everyone was doing it! Digging for clams, I mean. Hapless tourists joining in on the fun, old (and highly efficient) pros, big families, packs of teenagers. It was wild. Who knew?



Definitely a two tote bag kind of day at the beach, featuring a first-generation Everlane and Hipp & Kirk. Below is my favorite beach towel of all time, from a 1953 cover of Esquire Magazine. Just as much for the beach babe motif as for the “Californians Are Crazy” bit at the bottom. It’s not just looks – the thing is massive and soft and plush as heck.

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Since this is probably one of the more exposed posts I’ve ever done here, I wanted to mention something great happening over at Modcloth with regard to the representation of women and body positivity. The co-founder has pledged to promote total #fashiontruth, meaning that the company will strive to cast a variety of women in their ads and social media campaigns, and to show them as their true selves, to source, make, and sell clothing in a range of sizes, and to honor their customers as a community and put them at the center of everything they do. Fabulous!



The idea is to be what you want to see in fashion, and I particularly look forward to their collaborations and celebrations of more body types and POC women in their social media streams. You can start by signing the petition for the Truth In Advertising Act, if you feel so inclined.

Finally, consider yourselves warmed warned: There are just three last seaworthy posts to go before FFAF folds into an inevitable autumn and what everyone hopes will be a merciful winter.

Navy anchor cover-up (which doesn’t quite cover up my bum, I know – it’s the beach!) – J. Crew (similar here) | Tulle Underwire Tank Swimsuit – J. Crew | Everlane Tote Bag | Canvas Tote – Hipp & Kirk | Anchor Earrings – Plague of Pigeons| Dean Sunglasses in English Oak – Warby Parker | Sparkle Lemon iPhone 5 Case – Kate Spade | Druzy Claw Ring – Lauren Wolf

Until next time, y’all!


SBJ @ 12:12 AM

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South End Summer Day | August 31, 2014 | Comments (1)


One of my favorite things to do in Boston is to just plunk down in a favorite neighborhood with no plan except to wander and explore. The South End is always a really good place for that, and especially in the summer or fall when you can savor the architecture and bustling streets without much weather-related discomfort. Tons of independent places to eat, drink and window (or really) shop, notoriously queer but far less boisterous than the Castro. Sedate without being dull.


On this day we started at one of our favorite boutiques for home, Hudson, and ended up at Uniform, a well-curated men’s shop for the casually urbane and in between we stopped for brunch and ice cream.



This was just a simple sunny day outfit I threw on for aimless roaming, and when we stopped at this little plaza on Tremont by the theaters with its cheerful flowers bursting higher than our heads it was an easy backdrop choice, bumblebees and all.


On an unrelated note, I desperately need motivation to finish the slew of books I’m currently reading. That they are not motivation enough saddens me. I am spreading myself far too thin between at least a half dozen; Grace: A Memoir by Grace Coddington, Speedboat by Renata Adler, Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami, We Need New Names by NoViolet Bulawayo, The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman and an equestrian book as well as one or two style books.

They are nearly all worthy reads but to be honest, all I want to do is sink back into an old and beloved Salter or reread Hemingway’s The Garden of Eden. Do I just hide the others while I power through one, make M take the whole stack away save one, and only release another if I surrender it finished? I need some sort of strategy because the stack has gotten out of hand, though perhaps the coming change of season will spur me on.



Brunch was at Aquitane, a place most people recommended but that we just hadn’t quite made it to yet. The cocktails were very well done and the croque-madame and croque-monsieur we ordered were fantastic.

I’m also excited to try Petit Robert after seeing my traditional favorites on the menu – I’m a sucker for a good coq au vin or beef bourguignon and my attempts to make them at home have failed miserably. Until the temps come down from the 90s, though, I’m touching neither with a ten-foot pole!

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Striped Shorts – J. Crew | The Drape Tank in Cream – Everlane x Langley | Galia Sandal – Kensie | Canvas Tote – Hipp & Kirk | Raffia Necklace – Anthropologie | Dean Sunglasses in English Oak – Warby Parker | Bracelets (left to right) – Madewell, J. Crew, Brandy Melville | Druzy Claw Ring – Lauren Wolf

Full disclaimer: I was lucky enough to win the Hipp & Kirk tote from a giveaway they did earlier this summer. It has since become my everyday bag! I love it and have found it so useful and versatile for slinging around town, to the beach or running errands. It’s surprised me how often I use it, but it’s a true story and as a company who makes their products in California, they’re a brand close to my heart. Check them out!


SBJ @ 11:06 PM

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Barnstable Babes | August 29, 2014 | Comments (0)


I have been preoccupied as of late and to the detriment of this blog. I post so erratically these days it’s a wonder any of you come back at all, but you do and I am grateful! By the way, things are wonderful, just busy and new and nonstop, so when body and mind demand a break, I am trying to listen, even if means stepping back from the things that bring me pleasure.

Let’s dive in, then?


My third summer in New England and at long last I made it to Provincetown in all its midsummer glory. It was just a short visit, but we had a nice little adventure that day.

I can see the appeal – Cape Cod beaches, freewheeling queer abandon, highly walkable everything, the most darling clapboard B&Bs with their cake frosting rose gardens and all sorts of characters – but was a bit taken aback by the touristy feel, which I hadn’t expected (probably very silly of me) and I wasn’t too sad to return to a quiet, spacious Cape house tucked away in the woods at the end of the day. We’ll be back, I’m quite sure of it.



The tomboy power-clashing barefoot in brickish polka dot Topman shorts and an extreme angler print cotton shirt I found for her at Target. It got many compliments at the beachfront bar. I’m sure people find better things to do than risk tetanus in rotted dock shenanigans when they’re in P-Town, but we’d more or less done them all already and decided it was still a good idea.

I made a mess of French and fishtail braids because I knew how windy and hot it’d be, and got my fair share of compliments, too!



Watching the big ferry come tearing in from the bay is kind of a terrifying sight! From where we were sitting and having a cocktail it looked like it was going to smash through a few smaller boats and then into where we were sitting, but at the last possible moment turns and heads for the pier and a seemingly endless parade of people begin streaming into town, rolling their suitcases right down the middle of the street.



These J. Crew earrings have a cantaloupe color scheme that I love, with brushed gold and a little sparkle, and I wore them to dress us this super casual white cotton maxi sundress (even though nobody really dresses up in P-Town, as M was sure to remind me several times).

Did you know the weather is forecast to be in the 80s steadily for the next 10 days, and it’s been that or higher for the past week or so? SUMMER IS NOT OVER. M won’t stop heckling me about fall, hashtag too soon.



It’s just beautiful there, isn’t it? The colors are incredible – the water, the dunes, the painted boats and weathered wood of the docks and homes, the resilient flora. It all makes for a very enchanting atmosphere, a nice and deliberate, purposeful slowdown. Makes a gal wanna buy a boat and just float away for a while. I hope your summers have been – and continue to be, since the dog days keep a-comin’ – sufficiently if not exceedingly lovely.


Then there was this little fella! He was quite remarkable and we hope he wasn’t injured at all. I was standing only a few feet away and he was sure to spread his wings just so and turn his head to the angle while I snapped and snapped away. The locals have taught him well, it seems! It was pretty cool.

And now I’m off to call the chimney sweep before sweater weather is here. Better put in our order for some firewood while I’m at it. Shh!





SBJ @ 12:19 AM

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