Culinary femme? Not so much. | September 30, 2008 | Comments (0)

There are many parallels between the world of fashion and the culinary world. Both are grueling, merciless and prone to (oft unfortunate) trends that come and go. In their finest moments, both result in exquisite, sumptuous works of art that are wearable or edible, meant to be consumed and in the act of consuming permit one to truly live. Both have their classics, their unspoken rules. Both can be reduced to levels of such mediocrity that their products are merely a means of getting by. We do, after all, require food and clothing.

When it comes to couture cuisine, I am my fashion opposite. I’m a very “shy” eater. I lack that adventurous spirit and innate confidence when it comes to sitting down to dine on the unfamiliar or unusual.

That’s my very wordy preface to the following, which is a Top 100 list of foods everyone worth their salt should try in a lifetime.

VS.

The bolded items I’ve tried

The crossed out items I’d never even think of touching.

The italicized items I haven’t tried, but would like to.

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho (I don’t even know what this is!)
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses (it’s possible)
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda (with bread!)
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut (Oh hai, I’m ½ German. Thanks, Mom!)
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail (I feel strongly that I’ve had something with oxtail in it, perhaps a stew?)

41. Curried goat42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi (it sounds like this should be extracted and used in beauty products, though)
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini (I like my gin in champagne, thanks)
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho (soup should never be cold)
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu or shaojiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum (I might have had some version of this at an SF Thai place once- if so, it was delicious)
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin star restaurant
85. Kobe beef (If I have, I don’t remember)
86. Hare NOES! DON’T EAT BUNNIES!
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee (Caribbean coffee is not my cuppa)
100. Snake

(List courtesy of Bangs Are The New Black!)


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SBJ @ 12:44 PM

Comments (0)

  • kelly alice.

    come to boston and we’ll get you the damn tastiest bowl of creamy chowder in a bread bowl! sooo good.

    also, wasabi peas are kinda the best things ever. but hell no to bunnies or hot dogs from carts! ;)

    xo

  • http://www.nadarine.com nadarine

    I don’t think your html went through: no crossed out items.

    I hope it’s a html glitch, anyway: MY GOD, no huevos rancheros? M is not doing her job if you have neither eaten this nor wish to try.

  • Skinny Bone Jones

    Oh noes! Thanks, nadarine. There are LOTS of crossed off items!

    Re: huevos rancheros – I don’t eat eggs. At all. They creep me out hardcore. I will make them for my girls, but I don’t eat them. I know. I told you. I’m kind of a freakshow.

  • http://www.nadarine.com nadarine

    Ok, I will sigh in the direction of your no-egg self. But I will be nice, and invite you to get pho with me: it’s a yummy, filling Vietnamese soup. Delish.

  • Meredith

    You’d eat a raw Scotch bonnet before even THINKING of trying baba ghanoush or borscht? Or gazpacho!? Honey, honey! You hurt my heart!

    Seconding the pho, though; so yummy. At least we can make some progress there. :)

  • M

    zomg you did not try mole poblano! you looked at my plate and that was it!

    you would eat haggis but not huevos rancheros?? INSANE!

  • Skinny Bone Jones

    I hate the grain of rice in my keyboard. Haggis should be crossed off!

    I feel strongly that I at least dipped a finger or something into your mole and licked it. Right? Come on, sugar, gimme a break!

  • h

    Your crossed-off bits make me sad. I mentioned you, while eating fancy oysters, on Monday night! (In the defense of lesbian fashion standard argument number 4, my own personal clothes notwithstanding.) Also, I make a devastating 3-hour gazpacho.

  • Skinny Bone Jones

    @h: I need a copy of this itemized list ASAP. Lesbian Fashion Standard Argument No. 4? Is No. 5 Chanel? YES, PLEASE.

    Something flavored with a raw Scotch bonnet sounds fiery and delicious! Not a whole one. Did it specify? Hm. I am not fond of eggplant no matter how it’s prepared and the colors of borscht are deranged and remind of that scene in the Bridget Jones’ Diary and if I could eat gazpacho HOT, I might!

    This post is the antithesis of Trix’s picky eater one on BCP some weeks back!

    Except I am merely “shy.” Ha.

  • M

    trying involves chewing and swallowing, not licking and spitting out!

    we had kobe beef sliders at that NYC french restaurant for lunch, not very memorable.

  • http://bubblegumculture.com dorothyzbornak

    Baba ghanoush is so delicious! You must try! You must!

  • AGreenEyeDevil

    Haggis???? No, please don’t go there. YUK.

  • Skinny Bone Jones

    I would like everyone to know that I was thoroughly chastised last night by several concerned friends and, of course, our own dear M, for the contents of this blog post!