fitforafemme.com

When: Tuesday, Dec. 30th, 2008.

What: Over-the-knee black Italian leather boots from Lamica, by way of the wonderful Lori’s Designer Shoes in Chicago, IL. Most amazing romper with gold sequins and bronze leather earring by Brooklyn’s Idyllic4U Couture. Sequin headband and misc. bracelets from Glow on Lakeshore Ave. in Oakland, CA.

Scents: Pillow Of Flowers by Parfums d’Armando Martinez, an aldehyde, goes on smelling like fancy milled soap and bushels of lilac. It’s kind of exactly how you want your freshly made bed to smell right before you climb into it, squeaky clean, only to sully it right away with some raucous sexing. I want to dirty it up immediately. It stays consistent through the dry down, but the bouquet of white florals – tuberose, jasmine – gradually unfurls. It’s very lovely.

Annayake Pour Elle starts seductively, coquettish. It reminds me instantly of the tomboy chasing me around the pub table. Then, rather suddenly, it darkens and stays there, clinging all sullen and sharp to my wrist. The description is as follows: “The vivid, fresh notes reveal the peaceful plant world of Japan. They blend with soothing, comforting notes of tea and precious woods. For a fulfilled woman in perfect harmony with herself.” It barely softens over time.

Confession: This is the foundation of my This is what I’d wear if I had NYE plans outfit, i.e. How tragic is it to not be in the Brooklyn lezzie basement tomorrow night!? These are also my super brand new reasonable flat boots, which the tomboy helped me to find last week. They are pretty amazing: comfortable, they smell so good, they fit me perfectly and the wonderful folks at Lori’s gave me a whopping 25% off the asking price! I ? ? ? ? ? ? ?   them lots and look forward to wearing them with actual, you know, pants.

Someone should make bookends shaped like sexy gams. I’d buy ‘em.

When: Christmas Day 2008.

What: Wide-leg corduroy trousers by Tulle, vintage Levi’s tee, brocade coat by Tulle. Flats by old Navy and vintage rabbit collar.

Confession: I only wore this outfit for about an hour yesterday. To leave the house. And come right back. So there. Also, it is now a tradition for the tomboy and I to wear the matching pajamas that her grandmother got us last year for Christmas, for opening presents and whatnot on Christmas morning. They are still crispy. After a whole year. One day, they will be super incredibly soft and worn in. Like twenty years from now, but still. Here they are:

When: Christmas Eve 2008.

What I: Vintage brocade swing coat, gray and black lace sweater and matching scarf by Hazel, vest from H&M, purple velvet tiered skirt by BCBG Max Azria, gray tights from Old Navy, socks of unknown Italian origin and boots by Restricted.

What II: Printed dress by BCBG Max Azria, gray tights from Old Navy, socks of unknown Italian origin and boots by Restricted. (I love this second outfit, but deemed it too fancy for beers. )

Confession: I went ice skating today! It was fun (and cold). I also baked shortbread and made a big fat breakfast and last night I met friend and FFAF reader “photojenna” for drinks last night! That was a blast. I’d never been to Toronado’s in the Haight and it was fantastic. I’ll have to take the tomboy back with me on a date sometime. I tried around 5 beers (tiny little pours – just a gulp or two for tasting) and settled on a glass of Affligem Blonde Ale and a pint of something called White Christmas by Bay Area brewery Moylan’s. Both were delicious!

The two of us just sat and talked for 3 hrs. – mocking the douchebag who came to our table to ask us what we’d do if we were bionic (!!!) and had just one week to live and marveling at the strangeness of family when I ran into a cousin of mine just outside of the bar. We exchanged one of her fancy Australian cigarettes for one of my Djarum Blacks. Afterward, I met her lovely family and we sifted through a box of clothes she couldn’t take back with her to NYC, which brought oohs and aahs and giggles in equal parts. And then? AND THEN! I took the REALLY AWESOME armchair with matching ottoman that she re-upholstered herself, but had to part with. I am sitting in it now. I love it. It’s deep and comfy and perfect.

And finally, this car was parked just outside of our building earlier tonight. It is so special and I had to share it w/ y’all. Also, here is the awesome shirt I purchased from Lola Starr’s Dreamland Roller Rink at Coney Island, with a Kum & Go cap to boot:

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!

XOXO,

FFAF

Remember when I was bemoaning my one true love’s total disdain for reasonable boots? Such as cute, slouchy flat boots or sexy, classic riding boots? Remember how she tricked me into reasonable boots with a 4.5″ platform heel? Remember how anything that wasn’t sleek was deemed to have “creepy skin-fold flaps?” Well, that was before it was raining and very cold out. Have you tried walking two socially retarded 40-lb. dogs in heels when the streets are slick from icy storms? I don’t advise it. I’m lucky I’ve still got all my teeth, or that my hip isn’t, like, shattered. (Knock on wood for me, would you?)

Well, way back then some of you dear readers sent in boot suggestions, and some of them are shown here w/ the tomboy’s scathing, insensitive comments, along with a few of my own selections. Enjoy the show, kittens!

Reasonable boots vetoed by M:

“Never mix gray and brown.”    “Not dainty enough.”        “Too swashbuckle-y.”       “Meh. Almost ugly. Saggy stuff looks weak.”

“Heel/sole ridiculous.”       “Mummy boots.”         “An abomination to my eye.”           “A little galosh-y.”

Reasonable boots only tepidly received by M:

She sort of likes these.                        And these.                                    These are “OK.”

In the meantime, I discover that my Charles David Butane boots in sexy ass DO NOT MESS red are on clearance, but not in my size. Shoeniverse, why the fuck do you hate me? WHY DO YOU HATE ME?!

Cryface,

FFAF

PS. ALERT! ALERT! ALERT!

We are both batshit crazy in love wantz wantz it on this pair. I’m betting it’s because they’re over-the-knee HAWT:

When: Mon., Dec. 22nd, 2008.

What: Skinny pants from Laundry by Shelli Segal, sheer blouse by Guess, vintage leather jacket by Wilson’s. Beret from H&M and boots by Restricted.

Scent: Victoria’s Secret Sexy Little Things & Very Sexy Dare. I really can’t stand any of the scents that came in this coffret, I really can’t. It’s almost painful just to test them, y’all. Let’s start with Dare. It’s citrus-y. It doesn’t last long, so the fact that it succumbs to the middle and lower notes on the dry down is moot. It gets chocolate-y for a second, too. Top notes: bergamot, blood orange, pineapple juice, tamarind nectar, hazelnut leaf. So, basically, VS is daring me to what? Not get a migraine with their perfume on?

Sexy Little Things and/or Ooh La La is more like choke, choke, cough. Seriously. You know how some people come on really strong and then when you don’t retreat or back down, they suddenly wuss out or start backing away whimpering, tail between their legs? That’s what these both are. It’s very unfortunate.

Confession: I love this leather jacket. I’ve had it for years. It’s tiny and very tight. I love that the sides cinch with little leather tabs that slide through silver buckles, and that the pockets are just tiny slits, and the zippers at each snug wrist.

I love that it’s got green paint on the shoulder that won’t come off, from the time M & I helped a friend paint her foyer. I love that it’s never been washed and I abuse it constantly – throwing it everywhere, rubbing it up against concrete pillars, tossing it on the filthy ground so I can sit on it, shoving it into small, dark spaces instead of actually hanging it up – it’s like the more disgusting it gets, the more I love it.

It’s definitely SBJ-proof. I’ll cry if it ever gets lost.

When: Sunday, Dec. 21st, 2008.

What: Skinny pants from Laundry by Shelli Segal, wool turtleneck with suede elbow and shoulder patches by Ralph Lauren Rugby, vintage rabbit fur collar and coat by Blanc Noir. Wool beret from H&M, boots by Charles David. Pretty earrings from Juniper Tree in Berkeley, courtesy of the debonair tomboy.

Scent(s): Burberry London for Men smells divine on me. It’s very woodsy and spicy, like mulled wine and kindling, but it dries with a soft, sweet mist over all of that. Clearly, they only struggle with scents for women, because I love this. I also love port, and that’s one of the key notes: Bergamot, Lavender, Cinnamon Leaves, Black Pepper, Mimosa, Leather, Port Wine, Guaiac Wood, Oakmoss, Tobacco, Opopanax.

Kenzo’s Flower is also pretty nice. It begins almost too strong – I think it’s the rose and violet, though the violet note is definitely true and well-done – and then dries down into something non-offensive and less linear, but it’s neither so dreamy nor sophisticated enough to be very special. Fans of violet (and vanilla, for that matter) should definitely try this, though! The notes are: Wild Hawthorne, Bulgarian Rose, Parma Violet, Cassia, Hedione, Cyclosal, Opoponax, White Musk, Vanilla.

Confession: First, because it’s amusing and might benefit some of you, a graphic instruction on how to walk in heels, courtesy of the SF Chronicle article:

On a truly awful note, there are just 3 towns, about a dozen exits or a 10-15 minute drive (depending on traffic) between this femme and Richmond, CA. Why do we care about Richmond? Well, earlier today I read an incredibly disturbing article about a lesbian, about my age, who was brutally gang-raped there earlier this month. I was so angry, literally shaking as I read the article, and so very sad for her. I hope they find those goddamn sons of bitches FAST, and I hope I get a phone call taking me up on my offer to personally shoot each of them point-blank in the face. Mercy is a terrible waste when it comes to dealing with rapists, in my opinion. The article has more details on the hate crime aspect, as well as the suspects.

It’s fucking awful and I really don’t even know what to say; I hope in time she’s less terrorized by what’s been done to her and that ultimately her happiness, health and will aren’t forever blurred or tainted by it. Those are lofty things to wish for a stranger, but I’m wishing them regardless. That poor woman.

GAH! I HAVEN’T POSTED IN DAYS AND DAYS! BAD FEMME! BAD! VERY BAD!

Here, I’ll make it up to you with no less than five sets of outfits all at once, from this week. SHAM-WOW that, kittens! I’m sorry to have kept you out in the cold while it’s been, well, so cold. Tomorrow, I promise to write another post with reviews of Burberry London for Men, Kenzo’s Flower and a few picks from the Victoria’s Secret Holiday Coffret collection.

What (for a cozy Italian dinner out with friends last night): Ralph Lauren black cords, Blanc Noir wool coat, black scarf, GB arm warmers, vintage red leather pumps.

What (same cozy Italian dinner, under the coat!): Same as above, sans coat, plus sheer blouse from modcloth.com and belt by Ralph Lauren.

What (for a Costco run on Wednesday – titillating, I know): James Jeans, Sylvie & Mado jersey cotton wrap, green sleeveless blouse by Libertine for Target. Belt by Elie Tahari and brown boots by Classified.

What (for a fancy SF job interview this morning): Blue Ann Taylor suit, ruffled plaid blouse from Gap, scarf by Gucci. Blue Mary Janes by Linea Paolo. Sexy glass by Valentino.

What (post-interview Friday errands outfit): James Jeans + Gap blouse + Blanc Noir coat + FCUK striped scarf. Same shoes as above.