Confession: I am up to my eyeballs with work and other projects, but I wanted to post yet another breezy summer dress for y’all, and say how sorry I am that you’ve been putting up with cut-off images (and possibly text). I hope this new way is a little bit better. M & I are going to work on giving FFAF a much-needed makeover in the next week or so. I’m thinking Calvin Klein’s minimalist elegance, but we’ll see. It could end up the lovechild of a sequined vintage leotard + Roget Vivier shoes and we’ll all just have to love it like our own little precious bedazzled drag gaybie. Who can say!?
I am SUPER EXCITED for tonight’s ANTM finale, and am expecting my crew over at the loft at any moment. I bought an extra-special Tres Leches confection for the occasion and will reveal the glorious cake wreck here after we know who the winner is. It will be worth the wait, trust me. XOXO!
Confession: Too many to list. I will start by explaining this outfit. M, H and I all decided that in the battle of all-girl zombie roller derby (too early, high cover charges, no dancing) vs. Cockblock (a party full of moody lesbians and too many foul-smelling straight boys, “New Lesbo” music) vs. Cockfight (a party full of pleasant, chatty homos wearing nice cologne and the promise of 80smashupelectroJOCKSTRAPjams), there was a clear winner.
The dress code called for locker room attire. We did our best. I refused to wear sneakers out dancing. I have boundaries, you know. But I did wear a whistle (which was used mightily throughout the night on racist, sexist, non-PC and other derogatory comments) and a wristband.
Other items of note:
On the way into the city, we listened to Fleetwood Mac on cassette. CASSETTE! M was PUMPED.
I left a voicemail for a stranger named “Evan” re: fine whiskeys at the request of a very excited Indian gay
Everyone we met has worked on one cycle or another of ANTM
The only person we met that we didn’t like was Kenny G, because he kept dissing “rude immigrant and/or ‘illegals’ lesbians” and the only reason he didn’t get a spiked heel through his balls is b/c his date begged me not to destroy his only chance at sex that night
Gays we met and loved sided with us against Kenny G, making hilarious saxaphone noises in his direction
Which forced Kenny G to leave the premises immediately
We all got awesome t-shirts during the midnight giveaway
All the gays kept treating me like some very fragile and cute little doll
One gay had on a real bowtie and pink socks, and another had little elephant socks
Vegan gays were told to “just give up” on convincing us of their cause; I hissed to H “Don’t tell them I wear fur, god damn it!” because they were v. sweet and nice
This one’s for Rojo: The DJ played 2 seconds of Ready For The Floor by Hot Chip, and I got so excited, but then he stopped it. H blames this and other things on the iPhone generation aka “The Downfall of Civilization.” (I will remedy this by playing it tomorrow night at LBF Mondays at the Glas Kat!)
What: Clearly you’ve memorized these boots by now, black trousers from Express, black patent and gray suede belt from Tristan in NYC, ruffled white blouse from INC. Black and pink suede flogger from Good Vibes.
Scent: Today I wore Annayake Tsukimi, an Oriental amber. As soon as I put it on I kind of floated away. It’s described as “the amber fragrance of autumn infused with warm, woody notes for a radiant woman attracted by traditions and the family.” It is not dissimilar to Kenzo Amour, which I love, but I must admit that Tsukimi outlcasses Amour in every way. If dreamy soft-focus had a smell, it would be perfectly encompassed in Tsukimi! Both this and yesterday’s Figue Amère from Miller Harris had significant staying power. I’m still sniffing at my wrists greedily.
Confession: I did not accessorize this outfit with a flogger at work, FYI. (I really just don’t know what got into me. Probably, I want to get a rise out of B. Also, Dr. K and Sparkle and I have fond memories of this thing from the Bachelorette Weekend on Labor Day of this year.)
The really important confession is that M and I swore that tonight was the ANTM finale. Since we have a regular crowd of like-minded lovelies over on Wednesdays for ANTM and Project Runway or Stylista or Top Chef or whatever, we thought we’d get a little treat for them, to celebrate. I bought a wonderfully fragrant bouquet of paperwhite narcissus, orange-gold orchids and a very large bloom of orange that looks very much like a sea anemone. I also bought two twee little cakes, one vanilla and one chocolate, with “ANTM” written in frosting on top of both.
Well, it wasn’t the finale. We decided to name the chocolate cake for top pick McKee and the vanilla cake for other top pick Ana-Leigh. They are delicious cakes. THEY. ARE. DELICIOUS. CAKES. Let me show you them.
Perhaps most amusingly, way back in the beginning of this cycle, I said that Ana-Leigh was basically a Cory Kennedy facsimile (a la Zooey Deschanel and Katy Perry), at which point M said, “Does that mean that Cory Kennedy also looks like a moose?” Some research was conducted straight away, and we’d like you to weigh in: Who looks more like an actual moose – Cory Kennedy or Ana-Leigh? (Pls. try not to let the obnoxiousness of either interfere with your scientific analysis. -M )
Disclaimer: This moose thing is all M’s doing. I simply pointed out the resemblance between Tipton and Kennedy.
