fitforafemme.com

CONFESSION: I love this dress so. It’s easy and comfortable, but pretty. It looks better without the white tights (points to anyone who gets the lyrical reference), and I’ll post it that way someday but it is COLD here, so tights you are. (Get it? Tights you are! Right you are! Ha!) My little kitty friend came to take pictures with me, she’s very affectionate; she’ll jump up and paw at me like a puppy might. It’s adorable. I love her!

SCENT: Let’s not dilly-dally, I’ve got a different Victoria’s Secret perfume on either arm just waiting to be scrubbed off, ach so:

God, just look at that packaging. Cue involuntary sneer! OK, OK. Super Model out of the vial makes me think of soft vanilla and citrus, orange, actually, like a creamsicle. (M’s favorite!) It’s terrible. She likes it, which concerns me, but she is sick after all. On the drydown, it becomes something like stale, matted cotton candy.

Dream Angels Heavenly (America’s No. 1 fragrance, according to the VS website) shows some promise right away – quince, cardamom, white peony – but fades into boring, stuffy mediocrity. I will definitely have to hold this up against Dream Angels Desire to compare the two.

Y’all? I only have one more of these crap vials to test and report, and the epic experiment is final. To celebrate this, I have a very special fragrance post in the works. All I can say is that it involves intimate peeks into the cologne closets of two roguish tomboys, and you will want to go to there. Just in time for the holidays, too! I can’t wait, and I bet neither can you. Until then, kittens!

XOXO,

SBJ

PS. This chair had a cold puddle. I sat in it. Bugger.

CONFESSION: At least we all know that I’ve been neglecting FFAF because I’ve been busy kicking ass in bartending school, which I GRADUATED from just an hour ago, I am most pleased to say. Yay! I am exhausted. It’s hard to get up 7AM to take the petite to school and then work all day and look after pups and be femme and fight off Mission creepshows and then spend over 4 hours on your feet hustling behind a make-believe bar, damn it! Even if I do sometimes (OK, most times) crawl back into bed with M for an hour or two in the mornings. Still. It was fun, I learned a lot, but boy am I glad it’s done with! Now I can get back to throwing parties and posting fancy outfits and whatnot.

This, though, is the REAL confession: I used to belt out this Expose song very earnestly when I was wee, and I still know every word. By the time I was eight years old, I’d mastered the art of making myself cry whilst singing every note perfectly from Annie’s Tomorrow on my Fisher-Price record player, from the window in my bedroom, all wet-eyed with hope against all hope.

(more…)

I felt like this was a good next step in the self-defense arena, because it’s something we go through every single day of our lives and it can be an important first line of defense against assault:

Eye contact with men we don’t know, whether or not they appear to be aggressive, and how to deal with it.

From another Impact Bay Area tip sheet:

In the animal world, dominance is often decided by who holds eye contact the longest. Humans are not so different in this regard. Often women express the concern that if they are being stared at by a stranger, maintaining eye contact may be seen as an “invitation” to approach her.

There are different ways of looking which convey very different messages. Maintaining a calm, steady gaze in an interaction with someone else can send the message not only that you are paying attention, but also that you are not susceptible to to intimidation. You do NOT have to challenge someone to a staring match. You can look in such a way to show that you are aware – but do not want any kind of physical or verbal engagement.

You can look at someone with welcome in your eyes or you can give “a look guaranteed to freeze water.” If someone fails to respond to this clear signal by backing off, you have learned something important about his intentions – more than you would have by simply ignoring him.

The most common forms of self-sabotage in creating the assertive effect you desire is to avert your eyes and/or smile. You might actually want to practice NOT SMILING, since so many of us do it so automatically.

A hint for a big height difference: If someone is taller than you and is causing you to crane your neck backwards, take a step or two back to lessen the angle.

I don’t know about y’all, but I’m guilty of the eye aversion / smiling thing sometimes. Not always, but I’ve also experienced the death-don’t-fuck-with-me glare garner unwelcome feedback like, “Why are you so sad/mad? Cheer up!” “Bitch!” “Bitch, you have a bad attitude!” “Fuck you, then.” “What the fuck are you looking at me like that for?” etc. I usually end up smiling briefly at homeless men and women I don’t stop to give money to for whatever reason (read: guilt), men I’ve arbitrarily deemed harmless (stupid, stupid, stupid – MUST break that habit) and averting my eyes after I’ve given just enough stare of death, have begun to feel creepy myself and don’t want to (ding! ding! ding!) send the wrong message.

Jesus. I need practice!

I think the part that I bolded/underlined is really, really valuable, though. No matter what, if someone you don’t know doesn’t instantly just give up / back off / go away, they probably deserve to be kicked hard in the nuts and not just a glare of death, yo.

*Oops. Short-sleeved knit sweater  by Pop!