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This is my definition of summer casual. A simple cotton dress (with pockets!), some pretty flats, simple makeup and hair. I realize it’s October 1st, but you know, Indian Summer and all. Technically, these photos are from July. I said I was really behind! Trying to catch up before Autumn is here in earnest…

The dress is H&M and I adored the print. It fit into my whole “nudie girl” motif with a soft, blurred foliage of blush and washed-out nudes. Since we were headed to the movies this day, I ditched heels and went with these nude flats with all the shiny baubles from BCBG Max Azria. They’re super cushion-y and I love tap dancing around in ‘em. SPARKLY.

Piles and piles of silver.

Necklaces: “Femme” necklace by Three Sisters, dainty feather necklace from Banana Republic, and Pennyroyal keyhole pendant with a pink  chalcedony charm added. Rings: Stackable silver from the tomboy, the pink chalcedony teardrop ring is a gem that caught my eye in a Ross, of all places. It was a steal! Bracelet/Watch: The thorned cuff is by Made Her Think. The Citizen watch is from the tomboy.

This one was short and sweet! It’s been a very full week.

In gay news, Leisha Hailey and her GF got kicked off a Southwest flight and the Prop 8 trial video is to remain sealed indefinitely, but JD was featured in a devastatingly handsome spread for Vogue Homme.

In other news, I’m loving my new Dr. Jart Beauty Balm, the tomboy and I finally beat Lost Planet II on the PS3, and I reunited with my sewing machine, only to bend my only needle out of shape on the second dress for alterations. I also wrote a guest post on parenting for Autostraddle, and am stoked to cover the red carpet for them at the Dyke Central premiere in Oakland next week. This weekend we’re catching Beirut at the Fox and heading down to Santa Cruz to see our dear friends tie the knot!

How are y’all welcoming October this weekend?

Praise Dolly! The sun came out in a glorious way today! Not in that wintry, deceptive, incapable-of-penetrating-the-chill way, but in an honest-to-God Springtime sort of way. It was lovely. To be completely honest, I’ve been wearing this dress around the house like a muumuu or house dress, or a hearty old slip, so when it was time to put on proper clothes, I just tossed on the leggings and jacket and scooped my hair into a ponytail. Voila! It felt sinful and fantastic.

When we stepped out onto our little street to take these photos (M is really coming into her own as a style photographer), the kittens were out, the trees were green, bumblebees buzzed, I sipped my whiskey sour and reapplied my very red Besame lipstick with very red nails. Spring and I went at it hot and heavy. Alas, I fear the cold will come and go until it warms back up in earnest, but that’s OK. Today was wonderful.

So, spit it out! What are your big Valentine’s Day plans? We’re going to be lazy bears until the early evening, with small bites and cocktails at Annabelle’s and then to a “Share The Love” party being thrown by a friend of hers and her loverbird. It should be dreamy!

Of course, FFAF wouldn’t even be worth if not for y’all, so here’s a big wet lipstick-y femme kiss from me to you! XO!

CONFESSION: I’ve been really feeling Wear Palettes lately. As ever, I’m probably a late bloomer on this but it’s such a great, lazy way to get motivated with your wardrobe and figure out ways to hit all the tones in the daily palettes through creative means like lipstick, actual metals in jewelry, etc. In addition to actual clothes and footwear and bigger, less subtle accessories. I like that they’ve broken out the palettes between street wear, plants and celebs, but I do wish that they created palettes from other sources.

We were walking around the other day and something caught M’s eye, for example, and she exclaimed “That! That should be on one of your palette thingees!” It was food-related, I think. (Super lesbian, I know. Shut up!) When I saw this one I loved it for the strong earthiness, hence the title of this post!

Tell me what you think in the comments:

FEMME CONFESSION: Y’all? We are still packing, still working a lot, still wishing it was already that blessed time when me and my girls and pups are all settled into our new place. This is going to be quick and dirty, but SF PRIDE was so, so amazing and so, so good to us. My sweet Grandma Jones’s delicious secret bourbon slush recipe was a big hit (someone even suggested that it should be the new house drink) and when I woke up in our new place with M on Sunday morning, the birds were singing and I half-thought when I opened my eyes that they’d be right there with ribbons at the ready and there might be bunnies braiding my hair. Heavenly. I cannot wait to be there 100%.

PS. M bought me this lovely lilac parasol at SF Pride. Isn’t it cute?

PPS. There will be no tomboy confession, as M is out of commission and has been since about 10 minutes after the photos below were taken, poor thing. She also adds that she has inexplicable bruises to share, if anyone is interested.

FEMME BONUS ROUND: Y’all get a bonus round. This fancy outfit is a wardrobe change post-Dyke March, to get ready for late night drinking and dancing! As we were boozy, they didn’t come out so hot, but they’ll do in a pinch, I guess.

CONFESSION: Tuesday seems so very long ago that I can scarcely remember what even happened that day. I woke up, pouted about heading to a photo shoot in the South Bay for a meeting, the overcast of morning clearly refusing to budge, I wore this beret and piled on olive green eyeshadow because I felt moody, arrived at the photo shoot, admired a necklace, attempted to download some software, declined offers to shoot and/or be shot, smoked cigarettes, drove back, went to the library…oh! So, two things about this outfit. The dress looks like a nightie when it’s not belted, which I kind of love, and the great little shrunken, perfectly faded denim jacket belongs technically to the petite. Oh!

Confession: I finally, finally, FINALLY took three bags of my closet’s ex-contents to Crossroads this afternoon, a buy-sell-trade with stores all over the country and several in the Bay Area. M was threatening to throw them out and she meant business, but so did I! In addition to walking out of there with a fistful of cash, I traded my castaways for these like-new Marc by Marc Jacobs flats, new dark blue denim shorts with white pinstripes, a cheery new yellow summer top, a new BCBG Max Azria wrap dress in a gorgeous blue print and a pair of very cheeky red canvas peep-toe heels – so Varga girl! I had forgotten all about the satisfying rush one gets when acquiring awesome new clothes “for free!” I still have some great stuff that they turned down (Uniqlo, a pristine Ann Taylor suit, misc. vintage) that I might put up on ebay or just donate. Do y’all ever do the buy-sell-trade, or is it too harrowing / inconvenient / obnoxious?

PS. You’re not nuts – I changed my shoes. The Charles David boots are what I’m kicking high in the B&W! I loved the neon yellow in the belt with the hot pink of the flats too much!

Scent: Christian Dior Diorling power walks out of the decant with a toss of big 80s hair, shoulder pads and a mad, red mouth. It smells like something from my childhood, and being a child of the 80s I suppose this makes sense. In a way it’s very much your staple “perfume” smell. A hint of floral over a stern chypre, just a tinge of something powdery. The leather is elusive at first, but starts to show itself in the dry down. In reality, Diorling was born in 1963, and I’m not 100% sure that this is the original, but I suspect it’s the watered down, pansy reissue. M was taken aback by the top notes, saying it reminded her of the smell of whatever it is that Pine Sol tries to cover up with the scent of pine – not the pine itself. I’m unimpressed, overall and looking forward to a write-up over the weekend of something divine!

I felt like this was a good next step in the self-defense arena, because it’s something we go through every single day of our lives and it can be an important first line of defense against assault:

Eye contact with men we don’t know, whether or not they appear to be aggressive, and how to deal with it.

From another Impact Bay Area tip sheet:

In the animal world, dominance is often decided by who holds eye contact the longest. Humans are not so different in this regard. Often women express the concern that if they are being stared at by a stranger, maintaining eye contact may be seen as an “invitation” to approach her.

There are different ways of looking which convey very different messages. Maintaining a calm, steady gaze in an interaction with someone else can send the message not only that you are paying attention, but also that you are not susceptible to to intimidation. You do NOT have to challenge someone to a staring match. You can look in such a way to show that you are aware – but do not want any kind of physical or verbal engagement.

You can look at someone with welcome in your eyes or you can give “a look guaranteed to freeze water.” If someone fails to respond to this clear signal by backing off, you have learned something important about his intentions – more than you would have by simply ignoring him.

The most common forms of self-sabotage in creating the assertive effect you desire is to avert your eyes and/or smile. You might actually want to practice NOT SMILING, since so many of us do it so automatically.

A hint for a big height difference: If someone is taller than you and is causing you to crane your neck backwards, take a step or two back to lessen the angle.

I don’t know about y’all, but I’m guilty of the eye aversion / smiling thing sometimes. Not always, but I’ve also experienced the death-don’t-fuck-with-me glare garner unwelcome feedback like, “Why are you so sad/mad? Cheer up!” “Bitch!” “Bitch, you have a bad attitude!” “Fuck you, then.” “What the fuck are you looking at me like that for?” etc. I usually end up smiling briefly at homeless men and women I don’t stop to give money to for whatever reason (read: guilt), men I’ve arbitrarily deemed harmless (stupid, stupid, stupid – MUST break that habit) and averting my eyes after I’ve given just enough stare of death, have begun to feel creepy myself and don’t want to (ding! ding! ding!) send the wrong message.

Jesus. I need practice!

I think the part that I bolded/underlined is really, really valuable, though. No matter what, if someone you don’t know doesn’t instantly just give up / back off / go away, they probably deserve to be kicked hard in the nuts and not just a glare of death, yo.

*Oops. Short-sleeved knit sweater  by Pop!