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In this extra-exclusive FFAF post, a few dapper tomboys reveal their secrets to smelling good. Read on for two rather different takes on the world of men’s cologne and how to wear it well.

Our first portion is from G of the awesome Can I Help You, Sir? (Seriously, if you’re not reading this, you should be! It’s the adventures of G, with hot lists of swoon-worthy femmes and discussion on all things butch. RAD.)

G says: My preference is for clean, fresh or in some cases, woodsy scents with an underlying masculine feel. I tend to stay away from the spicy colognes, as they’re too heavy. I don’t want my scent to be noticed as soon as I walk in the room; I’d rather it be noticed because someone had to lean in closely to talk to me.

My top 3:

• Armani Code for Men: I think it’s the combination of the lemon and the wood that really does it for me with this scent. One of the things I like best about it is that it’s definitely masculine without being overwhelming, which is an elusive quality with all the macho colognes out there.

• Burberry Classic for Men: I really love what Burberry does with their fragrances, especially this one. It just smells great on my skin. It’s been around for a while, but it’s still one of the first ones I grab as I’m getting ready. The top notes of bergamot, cedar and amber really do it for me. I also own Burberry London, Brit and Beat, and I love them all.

• Banana Republic Slate: I love the fresh scent of this cologne, which relies basically on a blend of ginger and citrus notes. Those two together give it the a quality that is tough for me to find, which is clean AND inviting. It also just feels like a simple, easy-to-wear cologne, which I really like.

My choices also vary a bit depending on the season. These ones are all good fall/winter selections. I have different standbys in the summer that are a little lighter with more prominent citrus undertones (Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue is a favorite).

Next up is our very own M, who needs no introduction.

M says: OK! This is about colognes!

First, much like G, I treat most colognes like seasons. Summer scents are not okay in the winter, unless there’s some sort of obscene heat wave that drives all the sea lions from Pier 39 all the way to Oregon. There are a few that are transcendental, though, and can be enjoyed year round, not unlike peach cobbler (Team Pie! Niiiiiiiiiice. – SBJ).

• I like spicy  (but earthy) colognes in the fall and winter. Serge Lutens Borneo 1834 and John Varvatos Vintage are good examples. The Varvatos in particular smells like you just made an emergency landing with your prop plane in a mossy forest, survived, and so did your flask. It is quiet-handsome-action-hero-ruggedness! Tobacco, dirt, woods, gasoline, smoke!

• I am loathe to admit this, because Tom Ford is a giant dickbag, and most of his colognes reek like urinal cakes, but I really liked his Black Orchid cologne for Men. Fuck you, Tom Ford (but also: good job)! I plan to steal some from a department store so Mr Ford doesn’t profit. This makes me feel better. Anyway, why I liked it- even though he is like an attention-whorey-Vegas-casino, the cologne is more like an Olympic fencer: surprisingly subtle.

• Summer and Spring call for lighter, cleaner/fresher scents, to go with lighter clothing. Although I am all out, Creed Silver Mountain Water is my favorite. It is light and clean and not FRUITY! I don’t want to smell like food. Only food should smell like food! In fact, I have a household ban on any non-food product that smells like food (candles, soaps, cleaning products, etc). Okay, okay, I made one exception for a fig candle.

Tomboy Out!

I hope y’all enjoyed this! I sure as hell did. Now you have a whole roll call of fancy men’s cologne to get your tomboys or boy toys! (Or to try yourselves – I know I have some tough guys lurking out there!) In other news, M just smoothed a palmful of Lacoste all over the puppies. Sigh. As a bonus gift from me to you, take a peek at some covert butch stuff below – we femmes aren’t the only hoarders! – SBJ

CONFESSION: I love this blouse for so many reasons.

• I got it for, like, $3 at the thrift store
• The awesome pattern on the back
• The tiny, tiny, too many buttons in front
• Pintucks!

The serious little jacket was also a thrift store find on the cheap, hurrah. Also, I feel weird calling this a jacket, because HI it barely has sleeves, but all my research (OK, five minutes on bluefly.com) says it’s a jacket, but I maintain that it’s WEIRD. Today is a kind of sad and disappointing day, but I recommend taking heart in the data documented in this chart or by heading over to my new blog-friend’s blog, Can I Help You, Sir?, for an interesting discussion on femme invisibility.

Want sniffs? Keep scrolling down for another batch of the unending insipid Victoria’s Secret perfume reviews!

SCENTS: With what seems to be the most complex arrangement of notes from Victoria’s Secret thus far, Pink is still a disappointment. You’re shocked, I know. With bergamot, artemesia and violet leaves listed as top notes, and base notes of vetiver and musk, you’d think it’d be kind of lovely. Truth: It’s very pedestrian and I’m getting a lot of the mandarin top note upon first application. It dries down to a tepid, less obnoxious version of itself, but it still pretty skanky, insecure cheerleader.

Dream Angels Desire, you at least smell like your bottle looks. Soft, violet blue and almost stately. There’s something respectable about this one, probably in the austere top notes: white star magnolia, living white freesia, ivy leaves. It’s almost too bad everything lovely about it all but disappears on the drydown, the rest just kind of hovers like a powdery ghost. I bet VS wishes Serena’s mom wore this (from Gossip Girl, guys, come on, get on board). I will set this one aside just in case it has a rival in the rest of the yet-t0-be reviewed bunch, so they can FACE-OFF when this miserable experiment is over and done with.

PS. A treat, if you’d like one: