fitforafemme.com

FFAF is still on vacation, but wanted to make sure y’all had something to tide you over.

Welcome to my femme corner! In the femme corner, fancy lingerie hangs from fancy Anthropologie fixtures that emulate the gilded whispers of antlers hung on a wall. A glass contains exclusively Besame liners, eye and lip, and a Sharpie for notes. Antique silver trays keep all manner of hair ornaments in check, as well as a neat stack of eyeshadow quads. (M has no idea what an eyeshadow quad is, by the way.) A beautiful old letterpress tray has been lovingly repurposed to house dozens of pairs of earrings.

A butch-smelling candle (tobacco, bergamot) sits beside a pair of bold blue geometric earrings and a giant poof that distributes very finely milled sparkle to anything it touches. The femme corner is home, and the reach of it stretches out warmly in soft, purring concentric waves, the way femme is wont to do.

Remember all that fuss about a dresser? Here it is, only half-finished. The bird-shaped drawer pulls were back-ordered and just arrived yesterday, before these were taken. One’s little tail had broken off in transit so it’s got to wait even longer to be complete, but it’s come along.

I found these enormous hanging canvas cubbies at a home boutique in Oakland awhile back. The moment I laid eyes on it in the store, I knew they’d be perfect for storing my smaller purses and bags. I was right! I centered two of them above the dresser, so that the attached hooks lining the bottom of each cubby could be used for hanging necklaces in organized, eye-pleasing way. I love how it worked out, and I’ve so far managed to keep clutter off the top of the dresser by adding a small lamp, and places for my awesome BIRD ON IT accessory-holders.

The birdcage on the left holds bracelets, the tree branch in the center holds daintier necklaces and rings, and the birdbath on the right holds all my small vials and decants of perfumes. Sunglasses and the larger perfume bottles get placed on these adorable “Free To Be” embroidered cloths I found for mere dollars apiece, to protect the dresser’s surface.

Now getting dressed at home is just as lovely as an afternoon shopping in a boutique! This was a casual, sunny weekend outfit for running errands and whatnot.

Shorts, Tunic: Free People
Denim Shirt: Vintage
Pumps: Novela
Bikini: Anthropologie

How has everyone been doing with their resolutions so far? I’m not a big believer in the New Year being some blessed time to dramatically change your life, no more so than on a rainy day in April or a summer’s day in June. But with the end of a year I suppose one can step back, get a bit of perspective, and have a clearer idea of what the coming year or years should look like.

So far, I’ve finished one book (Portia de Rossi’s Unbearable Lightness) and am halfway through another (Neil Gaiman’s Neverwhere). I’ve checked out the horses for adoption on Petfinder, perused the ads for horses for sale on Craigslist, and looked at leasing options, all thanks to a friend who happens to be something of an ex-horsewoman and has me looking at gorgeous Selle Francais and Dutch Warmbloods I cannot afford (as they are so fancy and can run you $80,000). We’ve dipped into our bottles of Evan Williams Single Barrel and Maker’s 46 bourbon. Not a bad start for six days in.

Perhaps your resolutions involve your beauty routines! I’m always trying to simplify mine, but I thought it would be fun to show you what’s in my medicine cabinet and on my vanity! (Maybe at the end of the year I can compare to see if it’s changed very much, too.)

Face
01. Cleanser: Lush Bûche De Noël
02. Toner/lotion: Lush Eau Roma Water
03. Cream/moisturizer: Lush Skin Drink + Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repair
04. Facial mask: Lush Catastrophe Cosmetic
05. Exfoliator: Rotation between a few favorites: Dermalogica Microfoliant, Origins Modern Friction + Brighter By Nature (twice weekly)
06. Make-up remover: Origins Clean Energy Gentle Cleansing Oil

Body
07. Shower gels/soaps: Lush Flying Fox
08. Body lotions/creams: Aveeno, Cetaphil
09. Anticellulite/firming treatment: W H U T, am I supposed to be doing this?
10. Body exfoliator: Homemade Sugar Scrub
11. Hand cream: Origins Smoothing Souffle
12. Lip balm or lip treatment: Pure Vitamin E Lip Balm or Lush’s It Started With A Kiss Tinted Lip Balm
13. Perfume: Changes Daily!

Hair
14. Shampoo/conditioner: Lush Assortment, Kirkland Signature Moisture Shampoo + Conditioner (surprisingly vegan, paraben and gluten free), Aveda Clove Shampoo
15a. Mask or other treatments: Ken Paves Healthy Hair Boost Up Color Drops, Bumble & Bumble Creme de Coco Masque & homemade masks
15b. Styling Products: Frederic Fekkai Beachy Waves, Bumble & Bumble Surf Spray, some awesome stuff I got in El Mexico, Frederic Fekkai Glossing Cream, TRESemme Heat Tamer Protective Spray
15c. Styling Tools: BaByliss Pro Porcelain Ceramic Straightening Iron (1.5″), Conair You Curl Curling Wand, a blow dryer, a really old school spiral curling iron

Make-up
16. Foundation: Perricone Active Tinted Moisturizer in Tint 02
17. Powder: MAC Mineralize SPF 15 Foundation (Loose) in Light Medium , Palladio Herbal Dual Wet Dry Foundation in Cypress Beige
18a. Blush (Powder, Highlight & Bronzer): MAC Mineralize, Cargo, Besame (too many to name just a few shades), Stila
18b. Blush (Stain): Lush’s It Started With A Kiss Tinted Lip Balm, Sephora Lush Flush Lip & Cheek Stain, Tarte Ring It In Cheek Stain Set
19. Mascara: MAC Zoom Lash, L’Oreal Voluminous Million Lashes, Clinique High Impact Mascara
20. Lipstick/lipgloss: MAC, Besame, Clinique (too many to name just a few shades)
21. Eyeshadow: MAC, Cargo, Stila, Laura Mercier, Besame
22. Eyeliner: MAC Shadesticks, MAC Greasepaints, Laura Mercier, Besame Classic Masterliner Pencils

Thrifted tunic, Silence + Noise skinnies, Gap scarf, Dolce Vita for Target boots, Freebird by the Sak crossbody bag, earrings are a gift from the tomboy for Christmas (slippery like a snake!), Pier One wooden bangle bracelet, Banana Republic cocktail ring, awesome foam axe with rabbit fur trim from Paxton Gate – Curiosities for Kids.

(From Saturday, January 8th) Today was awful. I woke up slightly hungover from my femme date at the Original Plumbing Fashion Issue party last night, we’re out of everything one would use to make a deliciously greasy breakfast, and then we sat down with coffee and saw the news. My head throbbed with grief and shock and the kind of despondence that senseless, wasted death comes with without fail. It was impossible to divorce politics and the impact that something like this will have on our country from the fact that real people are still sitting in real rooms with their broken hearts, obliterated from the loss of their loved ones even as I type this.

I looked at my very grounded and mature daughter, watched her watching the news with us, peering over my shoulder to look at the Sarah Palin map of the United States that I’d been screaming at just a few minutes ago, thinking of the social atrocities she’s seen in her short life (9/11 in preschool, sitting on shoulders at useless anti-war protests in kindergarten, wars that carried her through grade school and junior high, the ups and downs and rallies and phone banking and fighting for marriage equality, the daily routine horrors of misogyny), her bright future humming with the beginnings of certainty despite all of it, and I suppose out of self-preservation a calm, quiet numbness washed over me. I went about the rest of the day, running errands, eating dinner with my family, hosting my book club for the night.

I can’t think about the ambitious little nine-year-old girl who died today because I can’t, I just can’t, as a mother. I called my mother today, and she was happier than usual to hear from me; my little brother’s been in boot camp for the Marines for a week now, the news can’t have helped any. We didn’t talk about Congresswoman Giffords, the little girl, or the five others who died because we can’t, just can’t, as mother and daughter. We talked instead about his call home this week, the menu for our Super Bowl party in February, an upcoming ski trip.

In seventeen years, when my petite is thirty years old and calls me out of the blue on an overcast Saturday afternoon, I hope this country is a better place to live than it is right now. It has to be.

Praise Dolly! The sun came out in a glorious way today! Not in that wintry, deceptive, incapable-of-penetrating-the-chill way, but in an honest-to-God Springtime sort of way. It was lovely. To be completely honest, I’ve been wearing this dress around the house like a muumuu or house dress, or a hearty old slip, so when it was time to put on proper clothes, I just tossed on the leggings and jacket and scooped my hair into a ponytail. Voila! It felt sinful and fantastic.

When we stepped out onto our little street to take these photos (M is really coming into her own as a style photographer), the kittens were out, the trees were green, bumblebees buzzed, I sipped my whiskey sour and reapplied my very red Besame lipstick with very red nails. Spring and I went at it hot and heavy. Alas, I fear the cold will come and go until it warms back up in earnest, but that’s OK. Today was wonderful.

So, spit it out! What are your big Valentine’s Day plans? We’re going to be lazy bears until the early evening, with small bites and cocktails at Annabelle’s and then to a “Share The Love” party being thrown by a friend of hers and her loverbird. It should be dreamy!

Of course, FFAF wouldn’t even be worth if not for y’all, so here’s a big wet lipstick-y femme kiss from me to you! XO!

CONFESSION: Last night, I tried on two of those POS wanker Victoria’s Secret fragrances I got forever ago, with a pair of super soft, sexy pajamas (free slippers with purchase!). One was so gross and cloyingly sweet that M described it as “someone trying to layer on perfume over dirty ass” and I simply referred to it as a whore’s bath perfume. Seriously. I refuse to even bequeath it to anyone since it screams CRUSTY SLUT + EXCESS BRONZER. It’s called Ooh La La, but is more like Oh, Hell Nah. I really hope none of you like it, because I’m not going to feel bad and I’m not going to take it back, either! (Damn it, I just realized that I reviewed OLL in late December of last year, in Shovels & Lye. At least I’m consistent!?)

The Fragrance was No. 2, boasts top notes of crushed leaves, freesia, mandarin (What the fuck kind of leaves? Isn’t that sort of key?) and does begin rather citrus-y and benign. I had to give it another go-round today because Ooh La La sent my senses into a diabetic coma, but it doesn’t seem to change my opinion of it as a rather boring and one-hit wonder scent. Not even a good hit, either. Something Milli Vanilli-ish. (If I spelled that wrong, it’s b/c I refuse to google it for the proper spelling. Fakers don’t get my hits! I have standards.) It’s not offensive, just boring. Very un-sexy. For instance, Laura Bush should totally check this out. It’s perfect for her.

From the Dream Angels collection comes Wish, which is TOTALLY FUCKING AWESOME if you want to smell like orange sherbet ice cream and baby powder, and reminds me of back in the day when my folks would take us to Baskin Robbins on special occasions, and someone would be like, “Oh, you should have some water,” and I’d be all, “The fuck for? I drink my water in Kool-Aid, man. Step off, my peanut-butter-and-chocolate ice cream cone is melting.” Or, you know, changing diapers. Also, it irks me that something so vile has to share the same word with a stellar The Cure album, but what are you gonna do?

Someone at the VS fragrance think tank needs to ground themselves from citrus for, like, a year, and then get back to me.

PS. Ain’t much to say about this outfit ‘cept there’s a mean cold snap this week and mama needs to go SHOPPING. I do, however, have a new brown sheath dress that is super Joan Holloway and was recently procured at the thrift store for FIDDY MOFO CENTS, YO. Holla / Coming Soon.

PPS. What the hell is up with the Christian Siriano for VS make-up collection? When the cover model on the website looks kind of rough in all your war paint, dude, you need to step up your game. Do any of y’all have it? Is it good? Not that I’m in the market…my quick beauty fix lately has been a dusting of Cargo bronzer as a wash over the entire lid, with heavy-handed mascara at the lash base instead of eyeliner. Fresno and Coral Beach are my favorites right now, but it seems the former is discontinued. SOB.

PPSS. Lips? Besame’s Red Velvet. Creamy and subtle red for when MAC’s Russian Red is too much damn work.

When: Sunday, September 21st, 2008.

What: Soft, fuzzy robe. Besame, NARS, Sephora, Cargo, etc.

Femme Confession: OK, not your typical lipstick lesbians, but M likes playing with my makeup. Now that we’re engaged, I figured she should be allowed to do mine from time to time. It’s fun! And yes, yes, totally fucking adorable. I taught her new tricks and the little look of awe on her face when she “got” it was priceless. Besides, it’s the least I could do after putting eyeliner on her for many a Cure tribute night.

M Confession: Firstly, I have never, ever put make-up on myself, nor have I had any desire to . A few times I have used an eye-lash curler, but it ripped out eye-lashes (hatessssssss it, master!). Then I let Jonesey put on eye-liner (see Cure night above) and it annoys my eyeballs and makes me blink. She says I should just shut up and sit still! Wellllll, now it is my turn!

Secondly, Jonesey has over a million make up things. I am not mistaken in this estimate. My favorite are the brushes. She has at least 15 of these. Even Picasso didn’t have that many. Just goes to show you what a hack he was. There are also bullet lipsticks, tricksy ninja lipsticks, lip stains (not to be confused with cheek stains, but they probably would work there too),  and hundreds of little tin petri dishes full of eye shadow. I tried to be real careful using all these and aside from a few mistakes, it was not bad for my first time! Jonesey sat real still (which never happens unless sex is involved somehow) and didn’t even looked worried!

When: Thursday, July 24th, 2008.

What: Saucy little vintage hat with roses, bow and veil in copper satin and tulle. Silver ‘Hearts On Fire’ earrings from Kiss My Ring, solid onyx pendant with magnet closure from Glow. Embroidered cotton tunic with mirrors and wooden beading by Romeo & Juliet Couture, trousers by Elie Tahari. Bronze and dark green peep-toe heels from Carlos by Carlos Santana, by way of Macy’s.

Confession: Before we go any further, let me say that Besame’s Enchanting Lipstick in Chocolate Kiss is a perfect shade. In fact, all of their lipsticks are incredible. I highly recommend them. Yes, they’re tiny and yes, the packaging is fussy and delicate, but you’ll get many miles out of these small wonders, especially if you use a nifty little lip brush.

I managed to snag a lovely lip brush from Fresh for 75% off the original price of nearly $30 yesterday! Also, damn you, Fresh, because you make me want your Firebird mascara and I am already in love with your Sugar Lip Glosses!

Now, I didn’t really wear this hat to work, because the busybodies would have had conniption fits all up and down the hallways, but isn’t it gorgeous? Oh, and that’s a glass of Freixenet with a splash of Odwalla’s Pomagrand, by the by. Refreshing and healthy!

NEWS FLASH: ZOMG, are y’all ready for the weekend? Tomorrow night I’ll have a fancy DJ outfit on, and the night after that a pretty brunch ensemble AND another night-on-the-town get-up, because baby is going d-a-n-c-i-n-g!

When: Tuesday, July 14th, 2008.

What: Cotton floral print sundress from Lapis, black-lace-and-pearl necklace from Spoiled on Broadway in Oakland, red lipstick (since I firmly believe it is capable of being an accessory in its own right) from Besame, in Red Velvet. Dolce Vita wooden wedges have a woven trim around the entire lower, with black suede and braided black satin on top. They are comfortable despite the very high heel and very, very pretty. Little skinny dark brown belt by Elie Tahari. Tattoos by Leslie Mah from Tribe 8; they were done at Diving Swallow in Oakland.

Confession: I am Girl Friday in an intensely air-conditioned office, so the ensemble was covered up all day with my favorite cardigan from the Erin Fetherston for GO Int’l @ Target line. It’s black and soft and kind of frumpy, with little shiny heart buttons. Also? See that girl all over the DV website? I was a foot model with her in 2006! True story. In fucking Las Vegas. (I hate it there.) We drank and smoke a lot and rolled our eyes at each other whenever people wanted to see the same shoe on in 10 different colors. She’s one of those girls who has a heart of gold, but is a bit of a nutter. Aren’t we all, though, a little? Yes.

As B says, Bless it.

A nutter photo, just for y’all:

“YES! I’M IN MY GIANT BATHROOM! TAKING PICTURES! IT’S HILARE, DON’T YOU THINK SO!? AFTER THIS I WILL HAVE A COCKTAIL AND STOP MAKING THIS FACE! KTHXBAI!”