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I wish you guys could make out the meringue yellow stripes on this cozy t-shirt. They pop wonderfully, just not in this particular set of photos.

I was very proud of the fact that I managed a perfect French twist in the morning, out of the blue, but then failed at maintaining it intermittently throughout the day. Until it was dinnertime, at which point I furiously mashed about half a teaspoon of Jonathan Dirt Texturizing Paste into my palms, hand-teased my hair, and pinned it up haphazardly.

Here’s the AM version, as well as a photo of my super gross tape measure work accident:

As you can see, my office walls are painted all kinds of cerulean blue. This is awesome, except for the fact that they are naked. I ended up ordering an assortment of bright, bold wall decals designed to look like ornate, sort of vintage photo frames of all sizes.

Aren’t they neat?

After I determine how they’ll be grouped on the main wall, I am thinking of having our design department print out some choice words (like my title Maven, for instance) to put inside of the frames, in the mood of the whole Keep Calm & Carry On thing. They’ll be removable of course, which is great as I am fickle and like to change things around often. Where the hell was I going with this? Ah, yes. The hand.

Well, I was measuring the width and height of the wall with a new tape measure and at some point during which it was stretched out by 12′, it slipped and sliced my knuckle open. Bullocks. It bled copiously. My very sweet colleague had to go and fetch a First Aid kit, as we had zilch with which to treat my wound. I consulted a doctor friend and said, “It’s deep, like I can see meaty white stuff, but it’s mostly stopped bleeding,” and she said, “Oh, the white stuff is your fat, when was your last tetanus shot?” Super.

Do I look like a girl with lockjaw? Nah. It was my left hand, too, y’all! (Did we know that I’m a lefty? Well, now we do.) A LESBIAN WITH ONE HAND OUT OF COMMISSION MAKES TWO REAL SAD LESBIANS. Other than it, I’m fine now.

This post was named after this excellent little Trina Turk ruffled ponte jacket, which I’m wearing again today over a flowy silk dress and riding boots. I wanted to find a jacket that was very special and could spice up pretty much anything in my closet. I tried on a shimmery Valentino Red jacket I was in love with, but the 4 cut off the circulation in my arms and I was swimming in the 8 – of course there were no 6s to be found and I almost cried in the store.

Shoes: Vintage YSL
Wide-legged velvet trousers: Erin Fetherston for Target
Striped t-shirt: Michael Stars
Jacket: Trina Turk
Bag: Co-Lab by Christoper Kon
Sunglasses: Ray-Ban
Bangle: Pier One
Spiked freshwater pearl earrings: Banana Republic

Hello, Birdie!
Hello, Jonesey!
Hello, Part Five of Anna Karenina!

When I first posted about my awesome new book club in early September, well…the past is in the past, darlings. My life only goes one way, and that’s forward. Or something. I’ve learned to ignore the book-themed catcalls and barks of sexual harassment from the vermin at the BART station I arrive at on my way home (honestly, it doesn’t matter one whit what you do, girls, they’ll find something reprehensible to groan in your direction), and I swan I stood in front of my car door for a full four and a half pages to finish a chapter before unlocking it and getting inside because I could not force myself to stop reading.

IT’S THAT GOOD.

I mean, it’s obviously been lauded as one of the greatest novels ever written but I know some of y’all are guilty of letting your copies collect dust, so I’m just saying. As our wonderful friends at Autostraddle say, READ ALL THE BOOKS.

Speaking of internets, I recently gave some tips on finding and keeping lesbian friends and you should read it – beyond my own, there are lots of great tips and resources for finding smart, like-minded hotties in your neighborhoods!

Halloween is almost upon us, and aside from our it-sounds-better-to-talk-about-it-than-to-actually-do-it idea of being Rose and Nat from The Real L Word, I’m hard-up for a good costume idea. We’ve carved a batch of splendid pumpkins, though, and I’ve customized nearly all of our baby pumpkins. The candy bowl is quivering in anticipation and there are little DIY ghosts swinging in the breeze outside, all spooky-like. What are your plans? (Keep reading for some ideas of where to go in SF and a little FFAF festiveness. )

I know a lot of you have already heard me say this 84,000 times today, but I am really loving this new song by Crystal Castles and Robert Smith (The Cure, but y’all should know that). He sounds perfect, and it’s a deliciously gloomy track. It’s a cover/remix of a Canadian new wave band’s 1983/1984 original Not In Love.

It makes me want to dance on a tiny, smoky, filthy dance floor with too much whiskey and scabby knees under my skirt.

Raw silk tunic: Banana Republic
Riding pants: The Gap
Belt: Vintage
Boots: Donald J. Pliner
Earrings: Ancient, but I love the wee pewter disco balls swaying beneath the massive heart!

I forgot to mention the Party On! Gaga party on Friday night! Bad FFAF! Here you go, kittens:

Now tell me all about your amazing costumes and Halloween plans!!!

This almost looks like summer! Almost. We took these at the end of the heat wave last week, when I was just beginning to feel a bit under the weather.  This dress has a criss-cross back, the tricky kind like you used to wrestle into all wrong when you were a little girl and all the swimsuits came with those cross-cross backs, you know? Confession: I still sometimes get it wrong, but I think that’s because I’m terribly impatient.

Confession No. 2: Sometimes when I’m not my usual frisky self or don’t have music to loosen me up for these FFAF shots, I look to my catalogs and magazines like Lula for posing inspiration. It feels silly but it’s better than boring y’all and myself to death! Anyway, here’s M, threatening to beat me with my own catalog. Tsk!

I am not sure what she’s grinning at so adorably up there in the sky somewhere, but it made for great photos!

When I snagged this necklace at one of those little Isla Mujeres boutiques back in April, it was because I envisioned it just like this. Set against a solid, severe backdrop or against a nice, bold, black and white print. I particularly like how the funky tattoo-influenced print clashes with the dark coral strands. The only thing I’d change about this is my nails, which are naked. They should be Jeffrey Campbell “No She Didn’t!” red, of course.

M wants to know if you like her kicks. I think you’d better! She even bought herself a hoodie in the exact same shade of green to match.

Pants: Calvin Klein
Shirt: H&M
Shoes: Etnies M. Taylor Skate Shoes

Dress: Fairground
Cardigan: Calvin Klein
Shoes: Franco Sarto
Clutch: Alice + Olivia for Payless
Sunglasses: Le Tigre

I need very badly to be a bunny in this amazing sweater:

Hello!

Happy Oscars!

Happy Spring Forward! (Almost forgot, didn’t you?)

How handsome does the tomboy look in her vintage bowtie and sweater vest?! GAH!

It’s been an exciting weekend. I had a fantastic dinner with my BFF on Friday night,  traipsed 3.2 miles with the tomboy through the Castro and Mission in yesterday’s gorgeous sunshine, went dancing to the ladies of the 80s at New Wave City and brunched at noon today with a dear friend in the lovely Noe Valley. And if you want to hear a dirty little secret, I’ll tell you one (well, two):

1. I let the tomboy pick out my dress. I can’t believe it’s supposed to be worn this way!
2. M & I redressed in last night’s outfits for a FFAF shoot because we didn’t have time to last night!
3. I was forced to wear tights because my bruises from self-defense fights last weekend are still quite prominent and nasty looking. In fact, just yesterday I dubbed the one just above my left knee “the eye of Sauron.” It’s very serious!

I had a lily in my hair last night, but the rest is basically the same. Anyway, we were hoping that you could help us. The tomboy needs a new pair of glasses, and she tried some on yesterday but just isn’t sure. She is also convinced that Tom Ford frames are going to be the answer to all her prayers (not that she prays). Take a look at the three different frames below and let us know which ones you like the best in the comments section!

HELLO, KITTENS!

How the hell are you? It’s been a week! A whole week!

Before anything else: Thank you for voting for Fit For A Femme, even if we didn’t win a Lezzy Award this year, we stood up there with the big dogs and it was totally awesomesauce, and I lovelovelove y’all for voting day in and day out with all your might.

So, I got this mini whilst thrifting for, like, $2, NWT. It makes for a great casual, relaxed look, but where the hell does The Gap get off charging $50 for a tiny denim miniskirt? Not that it isn’t great. It is. It’s just that I wouldn’t dream of wearing this without leggings on underneath. It’s SCANDALOUSLY short. And tiny. And not worth that crazy sticker price, which makes finding it for next to nothing that much sweeter. I went BANANAS thrifting last week. It was a month-end clearance sale, and I got 15 super awesome pieces – from a beautiful azure blue sunhat with the most dramatic brim to an armful of calico sundresses for Spring to a soft chestnut brown shrunken velvet blazer (it screams equestrian) – for just under $35 and in less than 1.25 hours. SCORE. Shopping = femme sports.

What else? Oh, you know, not much. I completed my utterly life-changing self-defense training on Sunday, and new bruises are STILL popping up all over my body. Badges of honor, my instructor calls them. I had the privilege of fighting FIVE fights at my graduation ceremony (with M and the petite there to support and cheer me on), instead of the standard three. DO NOT MESS, Y’ALL.

I was just named a member of the Femme Collective, which is gearing up for Femme2010: No Restrictions this August. Femmes, mark your calendars (and reserve your spot on the infamous Skinny + M sofabed now if you’re an out-of-towner)! Speaking of M, she and I are headed across the Bay Bridge next week for a meeting with other legally wed California couples to discuss next steps as powerful advocates for marriage equality, which I’m really excited about. Writing checks and being visible and all that is well and good, but I never feel like I’m doing enough unless I’m doing.

I will be a busy girl. A busy, happy, girly girl!

Also, we just ordered her a pair of these dapper new shoes:

Palettes! THESE ARE A LOT OF COLORS. But it works.

I’ve had this really fabulous Kenneth Cold necklace forever and as far as I can tell, it’s made a single, sad little appearance on this blog.

I still remember buying it!

M & I were at this amazing, super industrial outlet store near our old place – in its heyday, I’d leave with an armful of shoes, and its slow decline saddened me – and I saw it in the glass case. The brown leather is unbelievably supple and buttery, and the little pearls randomly strewn through out this textured silver, well, I died. Of course, I took it home, never once suspecting it’d end up around my waist one day.

I love it this way and probably ought to have more faith in its construction, but I was a little afraid all my rigorous running around and climbing up and down rickety old stepladders might break it. It turns out fate would take care of that for me, when I spilled a shitload of cooking oil all over the front of the dress whilst preparing for dinner with poor scientist. will blog for food, requiring a head-to-toe wardrobe change.

It happens to the best of us, right? Or maybe just me. Hm.

Hey, are you voting daily? You know, to help FFAF win a richly deserved 2009 Lezzy Award? WELL, GEEZ, GET VOTING ALREADY!

Praise Dolly! The sun came out in a glorious way today! Not in that wintry, deceptive, incapable-of-penetrating-the-chill way, but in an honest-to-God Springtime sort of way. It was lovely. To be completely honest, I’ve been wearing this dress around the house like a muumuu or house dress, or a hearty old slip, so when it was time to put on proper clothes, I just tossed on the leggings and jacket and scooped my hair into a ponytail. Voila! It felt sinful and fantastic.

When we stepped out onto our little street to take these photos (M is really coming into her own as a style photographer), the kittens were out, the trees were green, bumblebees buzzed, I sipped my whiskey sour and reapplied my very red Besame lipstick with very red nails. Spring and I went at it hot and heavy. Alas, I fear the cold will come and go until it warms back up in earnest, but that’s OK. Today was wonderful.

So, spit it out! What are your big Valentine’s Day plans? We’re going to be lazy bears until the early evening, with small bites and cocktails at Annabelle’s and then to a “Share The Love” party being thrown by a friend of hers and her loverbird. It should be dreamy!

Of course, FFAF wouldn’t even be worth if not for y’all, so here’s a big wet lipstick-y femme kiss from me to you! XO!