fitforafemme.com

When: Monday, October 27th, 2008.

What: Cotton dress by Jonathan Saunders for Target GO Int’l, black tights, shiny black booties by Alfani. Scarf from boutique in Puerto Rico, yellow leather bag by Emilie M.

Confession: As a teensy little baby reward for dragging myself off the couch despite the last clutches of my flu on Saturday, I yanked this dress off the rack at Target without even trying it on, while M shook her head with disapproval and grinned at me. Now, I don’t usually go for, like, primary color splatters a la durable preschool apron panels with pockets, and as our cheeky friend over at Bangs Are The New Black noted wistfully, the shit is SHORT, yo, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed that the third photo above doesn’t beg for a “I CAN HAZ PANTS PLEEZZZZ?!” LOLFemme caption. That would be sad. Boo-hoo-hoo sad.

Except now I can’t stop imaging it. Damn it! (Who can tell I’m almost my old self again, hm?) I can’t wait to try it with my mustard yellow tights, too!

M is convinced it’s more Munch; I’m saying Pollack – it is, after all, a $20 dress from Target, not The Scream.

When: Tuesday, August 19th, 2008.

What: Chiffon racerback floral tank from GO Int’l. Gray trousers from Glow on Lakeshore Ave. Pink snakeskin sandals by MaxStudio. All jewelry has been scooped up from this or that East Bay boutique!

Confession: I’ve only worked where I do for over a year. What can I say? I get bored rather easily at a rate of speed possibly faster than even Maxwell’s equations can manage. There is a lovely gem of nature just a stone’s throw from my workplace that I have not explored prior to this evening.

It makes the lush backdrop for today’s post, and I trust it will provide me with a fiery autumnal palette in coming months. (A reason, I suppose, to stay exactly where I am for at least a little while longer!) I hope you like the change of scenery!

When: Friday, August 8th, 2008.

What: M’s silver bowtie, vintage. Ruffled white blouse from INC International Concepts, black satin and velvet mini from the Erin Fetherston for GO Int’l / Target collection. Black knee socks from Target and liquid silver booties with ombre wedge heel by Apepazzo. Birdie is from Michael’s, that deadly black suckhole of craft addiction.

Black studded bracelet from Dollywood, rings from Laundry by Shelli Segal, vintage  rhinestone and pearl necklace. Coat of arms pin from Tristan and Swarovski art deco studs from Holland’s amazing Silver Crane Sterling. They are probably my favorite source for pretty and sparkly things, next to Made Her Think.

Confession: It is 3am and I am drunk as preppy skunk in these photos. They were taken after our night out dancing. Also, I was super pissed off that months ago I was all “Ooh! Bowtie as headband!” and during our Jenner mini-break I cracked open that month’s issue of Elle and BLAM! KA-CHOW! there was my goddamn bowtie headband idea. I hate when that happens! I thought of it first, you assholes! (It is possible that I am still ever so slightly boozy.) Anyway, I rocked that shit last night, so there.

When: Sunday, July 27th, 2008.

What: Black sequin tunic from Juniper Tree, cigarette pants by Laundry by Shelli Segal, black cardigan from the Erin Fetherston for GO Int’l / Target collection. Braided silver headband from modcloth.com, amazing liquid silver booties with ombre wedge heel by Apepazzo, metallic leather handbag by Dolce Vita.

Confession: I have only one very wiggly puppy to thank for these booties. She so generously sent them to me after deciding that they had my name written all over them. They’re so femmebot! she wrote excitedly. I’m so glad they’re mine now, and I can’t imagine the inspiration belonging to anyone other than one of the most fabulous original femmebot vixens ever, Barbarella.

When: Thurs., July 17th, 2008.

What: Cigarette-cut pants in drk. gray, Laundry by Shelli Segal. Floral print cotton blouse from the Paul & Joe / GO Int’l for Target line. Pretty embroidered cotton and suede tote and red woven belt both thrifted, red and black patent flats by Linea Paolo. Sweet shades by Gap Kids, yo. (Damn those brats for hoarding awesome sunglasses! DAMN THEM!)

Confession: First things first, my ass looks goddamn stellar in these pants. Yes. Moving on, yesterday was hellish. On top of being at peak PMS rage, all of the suckling idiot infants I work with wouldn’t get off my fucking tits all day. I called M on my way home (at 9:30pm!) and she was all, in her best soothing, reassuring voice, “Jonesey, I’m gonna make you a cocktail right now, OK?” Yes, please. Sure enough, when I got here she took my bags from my weary hands (lunchtime retail therapy, thanks for asking) and curled my fingers around a glass full of liquid bliss and everyone made a little spot for me on the couch for the last 10 minutes of Project Runway. Le sigh. I am watching the re-run now.

The good Lord only knows why I got a copy of Allure at my office yesterday, but bless it, because I need a good dose of crap eye candy that doesn’t require me to do anything beyond flipping one glossy ass page after another.

Here’s to hump days and the bloody weekend!

When: Tuesday, July 14th, 2008.

What: Cotton floral print sundress from Lapis, black-lace-and-pearl necklace from Spoiled on Broadway in Oakland, red lipstick (since I firmly believe it is capable of being an accessory in its own right) from Besame, in Red Velvet. Dolce Vita wooden wedges have a woven trim around the entire lower, with black suede and braided black satin on top. They are comfortable despite the very high heel and very, very pretty. Little skinny dark brown belt by Elie Tahari. Tattoos by Leslie Mah from Tribe 8; they were done at Diving Swallow in Oakland.

Confession: I am Girl Friday in an intensely air-conditioned office, so the ensemble was covered up all day with my favorite cardigan from the Erin Fetherston for GO Int’l @ Target line. It’s black and soft and kind of frumpy, with little shiny heart buttons. Also? See that girl all over the DV website? I was a foot model with her in 2006! True story. In fucking Las Vegas. (I hate it there.) We drank and smoke a lot and rolled our eyes at each other whenever people wanted to see the same shoe on in 10 different colors. She’s one of those girls who has a heart of gold, but is a bit of a nutter. Aren’t we all, though, a little? Yes.

As B says, Bless it.

A nutter photo, just for y’all:

“YES! I’M IN MY GIANT BATHROOM! TAKING PICTURES! IT’S HILARE, DON’T YOU THINK SO!? AFTER THIS I WILL HAVE A COCKTAIL AND STOP MAKING THIS FACE! KTHXBAI!”