Welcome to Roosevelt State Beach, sometimes also known as Naples Beach, just down the way from Princeton-by-the-Sea and the rather famous Mavericks. We are very fond of it due to the fact that it has a long stretch of beautiful dunes without the hikes required at Fort Funston and Devil’s Slide. On a sunny Wednesday afternoon, there was hardly another soul around. Isn’t it lovely?

We’re clearly still experiencing rather warm days even as New York City and Boston have flung themselves headlong into winter. (I’d mention Denver, but it’s always the Wild West over there, as far as weather’s concerned.) I’ve been dying to wear this H&M L.O.G.G. scarf since I bought it. It’s enormous and comprised entirely of toasty autumn shades, and it was just the thing to keep from getting chilly as the wind picked up and the waves soaked my jeans up to the knees!

We found so many perfect sand dollars and pretty shells. Not a single live crab, but there were dozens of carcasses that M fished out of the water with her bare hands. (Gross!) The heart-print blouse with a cheeky Peter Pan collar is also from H&M, but the waffle cardigan is from Hyden Yoo, a small menswear designer (who actually just last year launched a women’s line, too) based in New York. I found it at Gilt and fell in love with it, so I got it even though it’s made for the boys.

M snapped these and did a terrific job. She was very bossy, demanding that I make the scarf “as big as possible, flail it in the wind” which of course just cracked me up. Can you see the bits of hay in my hair? Well, we’d just been to the pumpkin patches where we had a little hay ride, and M tossed a handful into my ‘do. (I guess it was my fault, I’d complained that a photo we’d taken didn’t look like we were on a hay ride at all, and then you can guess what happened…)

Denim: James Jeans
Cardigan: Hyden Yoo
Top, Scarf: H&M, H&M L.O.G.G.
Cuffed Ankle Boots: Nine West
Necklace: Spoiled boutique in Oakland
Sunglasses: Ray-Ban
Earrings: House of Harlow
Gold Bracelet: Lori’s Shoes

What’s everyone got planned for the weekend? M & I are off to a romantic dinner at Elizabeth Falkner’s Orson tonight, as it’s closing its doors on their restaurant to move it into the next phase as a private events space. I wonder if the mood will be one that’s bittersweet, or business as usual!

We’re also hoping to ride some horses sometime this weekend with all this glorious weather. Giddyup!

Hope everyone has a happy and safe Halloween weekend! The petite is dressing up as a referee, and her friends are all going to be football players, which is kind of adorable (especially for thirteen-year-old girls). I am still trying to sell M on dressing up as Popeye and Olive Oyl – I think as long as I get her a fancy pipe, she’s in!

I am so excited about my Halloween costume.
I am so excited about my Halloween costume.
I am so excited about my Halloween costume.

I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME.

So excited that I don’t care if I was 100% right and my poor wookie pumpkin is already all shrivel-y and deflated like a dead, decaying wookie. (Plus, we’re going to a pumpkin-carving party tomorrow. Bygones.) I know it’s really mean of me to get all SKWEE about my epic costume and not tell y’all, but you’ll see soon enough.

Let’s change the subject, shall we? Here, look at my shiny hair. Let’s all just calm down a minute.

I threw this outfit on in a hurry this morning. I realized that I’ve packed all of my heels aready save two pairs of high-heeled boots – both brown. Femme fail! I love that it’s all serious grays and a plaid Brooks Bros. skirt, paired with some stompy boots. Here are the details:

Shirt: RVCA
Cardigan & Belt: H&M
Skirt: Brooks Brothers
Tights & Boots: Target
Pearls: Vintage

Right now at the FFAF household, here’s the news:

• The San Francisco Giants have indeed toasted Texas. Texas toast! So good, especially soaked with the big fat crocodile tears of the poor, poor Rangers. This town is going wacko. Also? We smoke weed here, apparently. Who knew?
• The registration packet for the petite’s new school is no thinner than 1.5″ thick (in triplicate) and includes a swatch of fabric so that parents can readily avoid the horrible mistake of purchasing uniforms in the WRONG SHADE OF KHAKI . I don’t know about you, but I’m sure relieved. (We owe her big time. Like Uggs big, and y’all know I fucking HATE Uggs.)
• The “big packing weekend” is upon us. It’s do-or-die time. We’re also selling a TON of furniture this weekend. Whee!
• We’re so sad about Mondo not winning Project Runway. What do you think? Gretchen’s such a bloody hag that it makes it hard to appreciate her clothes, which seem to me a meek, hipster-y acquiescence to the superiority that are Chloe’s Fall collections, but what do I know?

Hello, Birdie!
Hello, Jonesey!
Hello, Part Five of Anna Karenina!

When I first posted about my awesome new book club in early September, well…the past is in the past, darlings. My life only goes one way, and that’s forward. Or something. I’ve learned to ignore the book-themed catcalls and barks of sexual harassment from the vermin at the BART station I arrive at on my way home (honestly, it doesn’t matter one whit what you do, girls, they’ll find something reprehensible to groan in your direction), and I swan I stood in front of my car door for a full four and a half pages to finish a chapter before unlocking it and getting inside because I could not force myself to stop reading.

IT’S THAT GOOD.

I mean, it’s obviously been lauded as one of the greatest novels ever written but I know some of y’all are guilty of letting your copies collect dust, so I’m just saying. As our wonderful friends at Autostraddle say, READ ALL THE BOOKS.

Speaking of internets, I recently gave some tips on finding and keeping lesbian friends and you should read it – beyond my own, there are lots of great tips and resources for finding smart, like-minded hotties in your neighborhoods!

Halloween is almost upon us, and aside from our it-sounds-better-to-talk-about-it-than-to-actually-do-it idea of being Rose and Nat from The Real L Word, I’m hard-up for a good costume idea. We’ve carved a batch of splendid pumpkins, though, and I’ve customized nearly all of our baby pumpkins. The candy bowl is quivering in anticipation and there are little DIY ghosts swinging in the breeze outside, all spooky-like. What are your plans? (Keep reading for some ideas of where to go in SF and a little FFAF festiveness. )

I know a lot of you have already heard me say this 84,000 times today, but I am really loving this new song by Crystal Castles and Robert Smith (The Cure, but y’all should know that). He sounds perfect, and it’s a deliciously gloomy track. It’s a cover/remix of a Canadian new wave band’s 1983/1984 original Not In Love.

It makes me want to dance on a tiny, smoky, filthy dance floor with too much whiskey and scabby knees under my skirt.

Raw silk tunic: Banana Republic
Riding pants: The Gap
Belt: Vintage
Boots: Donald J. Pliner
Earrings: Ancient, but I love the wee pewter disco balls swaying beneath the massive heart!

I forgot to mention the Party On! Gaga party on Friday night! Bad FFAF! Here you go, kittens:

Now tell me all about your amazing costumes and Halloween plans!!!

O C E A N!

H I G H W A Y 1!

H A L F M O O N B A Y!

M fawning over seaside Pampas Grass like she’s never seen it before in all her life. Watching surfers take to the waves at Moss Beach.

Lunch and window-shopping in Half Moon Bay. Gawking at the 1,535 lb. pumpkin that won the Safeway World Championship Pumpkin Weigh-Off this year. Antiques at our favorite spot. Finding gold-flecked vintage ski pants and an equestrian scarf for pennies. Picking up fancy unpasteurized Manchego cheese and Spanish Marcona almonds to nibble on with a fresh loaf of artisan French bread.

Hayrides, haunted houses and petting zoos at the pumpkin patches. Frolicking about at Montara Beach, where the waves offshore got so big and so tall that they’d briefly block out the horizon, and where it was so clean that not even the seagulls bothered with it. A giggly sunset at Rockaway Beach.

There is nothing like being towed around a pumpkin patch by your flannel-clad, big-ass-boot wearing, grinning tomboy, is there, femmes? It’s one of those rare joys in life. M picked out 10 little tiny baby pumpkins, and each of us picked out one big one for carving at Halloween. The weather was perfect. A pinch too warm, in fact, but M remedied her woolly issues by taking a shard of glass off the floor of the antique shop yard and cutting off the sleeves of her shirt.

Do I need to say it?

I guess so.

H O T.

The teenage boys who were studying maths in between scaring the daylights out of total strangers asked us if we wanted it “really scary” or just “a little scary”, and of course I trilled “EXTRA S U P E R SCARY!” and we all walked through the wooden doors into total darkness, clinging to M.

We counted to fifteen as directed, and blew out poor M’s eardrums as we screamed our way through 1,000 square feet or so of perfectly hokey, old-fashioned haunted house horror.

In the petting zoo of RADNESS there were piglets, bunnies, lambs, goats, ducks, chickens, and of course, tiny human beings. One of the bunnies bit me three times. The llamas were off limits and the ponies too miniature for me to ride (though believe you me, I tried). I’ve never held a piglet before.

EVERYONE SHOULD HOLD A PIGLET.

It’s amazing. Check out my awesome piglet-bunny-chicken video, filmed by M, by clicking here!

FEMME: Levi’s skinny jeans, Full Tilt plaid shirt, vintage Gucci scarf, boots from Buffalo Exchange, vintage Dooney & Bourke All-Weather Leather bag.

TOMBOY: RSQ London jeans, Mossimo t-shirt, vintage Pendleton flannel shirt, Harley Davidson boots, leather cuff.

Said big-ass pumpkin, behind my head:

Twas the night before Halloween, when all through the house, not a tomboy was stirring, no femme could be roused…

We’re all snuggled up on the couch watching The Nightmare Before Christmas with the pups, who are extra ridiculous this evening. Earlier tonight, we had sundry appetizers for dinner and at long last caught the creme brulee guy, with his cart all set up at a nearby art gallery we happen to love. We each got a special flavor: Ritual Coffee (top left), S’mores (with the marshmallows) and Frosted Flakes (at the bottom). They were all so, so delicious. It’s a crispy October night here in San Francisco, so I wore one of my vintage fur stoles.

The other two pics are just for fun – last night I made a teeny tiny top hat for the petite’s magician costume, which I attached to a frou frou, feathered black headband I already had. (She also borrowed my cowboy boots, belt and cropped tux jacket with her own leggings, worn over M’s ruffled tuxedo shirt and bowtie. The real finishing touch were a pair of vintage white gloves I have and this DIY magic wand (a twiggy black chopstick from Cost Plus with a bit of white ribbon attached to the top). This updo (those antlers are just ironically placed, or something) was fancy and awesome but a happy accident. I just wanted my hair out of my face and kept sticking pins in it until it was!

Now tell me all about your awesome Halloween plans! I want to hear the juicy details about your costumes!

CONFESSION: Check-out at Hotel Vertigo. Super dreamy lobby. You can read more about it here, if you’d like. We are up and at ‘em on approximately 4-5 hrs. of sleep and absolutely pining for donuts and coffee. We weren’t sure how nightmarish the Love Parade malarkey would be, so we just dashed out of there right before noon and headed to our favorite Noe Valley donut shop. They have Peerless coffee there! A plus. Let’s see if you can guess what I’m thinking as I gaze fondly down upon that polished, gorgeous hunk of wood.

CONFESSION: It was so Fall on this day! Monday, to be exact. I used to loathe the grey + ivory combination, but I am for it this season, especially if you swap the predictable dash of mustard with a nice, predictable and lush rose instead. Ideally, in some sort of ridiculously lavish, ruffled suede. Mm. I guess I’m sort of a moron for not throwing on my pink posie Tulle coat on over this. Next time!

CONFESSION: We discovered that M hates shooting at night and Halloween today. I know, right? OK, so night shooting is HARD and a pain in the ass, but hating Halloween? I think I should remind her about candy corn and slutty costumes bonding with loved ones in a creepy way. In any case, I can’t let her hate Halloween until we’ve dressed up as Moroccan Tranny Patsy and Edina first. It’s our dream! I had fun on the night shoot; we explored the creepy alley across the street and I pretended to be scary and chased kittens around.

NOTE: I gave y’all a three-for-one because even though they were different pairs of jeans, they were still jeans. Never fear (esp. not you, H), I had heels on in both of the above and a brand spankin’ new pair of hella fierce Betsey Johnson tights that are dying to debut themselves.

QUERY: An extremely lovely and devoted reader recently wondered if I might do a Q & A here at FFAF, and you know what I thought? I thought I would, if you’d like. Feel free to send burning questions to fitforafemme@gmail.com and I’ll answer enthusiastically and in bulk to the best of my ability!

Femme What: ICE sheer top under my DKNY peacoat, with the pretty Peruvian scarf and AWESOME lion pin that lights up and flashes and stuff.

Tomboy What: Polo by Ralph Lauren wool sweater with brown suede patches.

Confession: We went trick-or-treating earlier this evening, of course. See some pics of the amazing Russell St. festivity below! Afterward, we stopped by a neighborhood bar that a friend of ours works at. Everyone working there, including her, was dressed as a viking! It was fantastic. We also saw a very large Cookie Monster, a very convincing Sarah Palin and a curious man in a wedding dress. I saw at least two babies dressed as perfect little penguins and my womb has been reactivated. I feel fertile! Give me babies!

We had planned to grab Mexican two doors down, but our friend coaxed us inside with promises of tasty beverages on the house, so the petites washed down baskets of chicken tenders and french fries with root beer while M & I devoured fish and chips and a chicken pesto panini, respectively.

Alas, we’ve been watching zombie movies non-stop since we got home! Did you swing by BCP earlier to read up on scary Sapphic Tales Of The Ex? Well, what are you waiting for?!?! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Haunted houses:

This Roswell Set-Up was by far the best on the block:

THE GAY! There were a few lady-grooms and several brides at this house, and the theme was very much NO ON PROP 8! Word. They were all very happy and giggly and generous with candy handouts:

Another haunted house, the “Mars Attacks” band and a large white creature:

Who says politics can’t be pretty? Pumpkins and the lovely gate for The Magnes Museum:

When: Tuesday, October 28th, 2008.

What: Black skirt from H&M, silk blouse by Chelsea Flowers (More Chelsea Flowers at Bloomie’s here). Satin t-strap pumps by Nine West.

Confession: Fuck this fucking ridiculous California heat. Thank God they’re predicting rain, even though (of course) it’s expected on Halloween. Having lived nowhere but the Bay Area my entire life, I suppose I should be used to this, but I have no tolerance for it this year. Maybe I’d feel differently if I still lived on the lake, but I’m right on the estuary next to the bloody bay, for chrissakes, and it’s demonic. Demonic and wrong. I know all you folks out there where it’s raining sideways (Brooklyn, holla) or snowing like mad (Bringle, Bowling) HATE me right now, but I envy you more than you can possibly imagine! Let’s trade places. As if anyone can say no to having M all to herself! (B, are you reading this? Hep me!)

PS. I totally wrecked this gorgeous, stupidly expensive shirt after wearing it just once. Instead of obediently taking it to the dry cleaner, I impatiently tossed it into the delicate cycle at home, thinking I’d get away with it. BLEED. Foul, bluish, sad bleeding into the oh-so-fragile silk. I almost tried to fix it with dye at home, but decided to, uh, give it another spin, so to speak. That’s right. Delicate cycle. Take II. IT WORKED! Am genius. Hurrah.

PPS. I realize that I look mighty friendly my confession photo, but really, I’m HELLA stabby right now.