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First things first, today is the 13th annual International Transgender Day of Remembrance, so perhaps take just a moment to honor those no longer with us, support those we’re lucky enough to have in our lives today, and keep fighting transphobia. Amos Mac, of Original Plumbing and Translady Fanzine fame, wrote this touching piece about Gwen Araujo, and our friends at Autostraddle have a wonderful open thread going, and I really recommend checking out both!

Gwen was a 17-year-old local who was murdered in 2002 by four young men in a brutal hate crime, and hers was the first memorial of its kind that I’d ever attended. I remember it being very somber and despondent, and frighteningly unfamiliar (I was so sheltered then, still very much a baby dyke). However, it was also softly and sadly determined, for while a vivacious, courageous transgender teen was gone and would be deeply mourned by many, the community’s response was deafening: Gwen’s life would be remembered and celebrated with a strength that wouldn’t stop until it drowned out the ignorance and hatred that took it away.

Throughout all of this, a high school in Gwen’s town was putting on a production of The Laramie Project, and so an already badly shaken student body and faculty found themselves facing a different type of incomprehensible hate: Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist psychopaths.

I hardly remember how it happened or who I was with, but one night I found myself among the protective circle of Angel Action folks standing outside of the entrance Newark Memorial High School, wearing those big fluffy angel wings in the cold, all of us doing our best to shield the performers and audience members from those rotten sons of bitches. It was a really small, very tiny thing, but doing anything felt better than doing nothing in the wake of a tragedy like that.

(PS. I’m donating 25% of all sales this week to the Transgender Law Center, so go take a peek at my Etsy shop, Loverbirds, and shop for change…social change! Or go and buy an awesome t-shirt from Revel & Riot – a portion of all proceeds go to LGBTQ rights and equality groups, and they’ll make excellent stocking stuffers.)

In other news, it appears I’m getting sick. This is horrific timing, as I have two elaborate desserts to make for Thanksgiving, and a bit of tinkering yet to do for our signature Turkey Day cocktails! We’re also preparing for lots and lots of house guests, and I just haven’t got the time to be sick! DID I MENTION IT’S THANKSGIVING?! I’m lucky to have such a marvelous, caring wife. (She’s already volunteered to make my cheesecakes, and I’m pretty sure I can get her to agree to cocktail taste-testing, too!)

Fingers crossed that it’s nothing several mega-doses of Vitamin C and lots of hot tea and whatnot can’t fix. Let’s chat about this outfit, shall we? I don’t think y’all have this leather skirt from Zara yet, even though I’ve worn it out and about a handful of times since I got it eight whopping months ago. I just wore it out with thick black tights and a neon green collared shirt under a black crewneck sweater, in fact! This time I topped it with an H&M t-shirt and faux fur vest, a pair of Hue tights, and my Dolce Vita platform mules. It’s cold out, so I decided to layer leather on top of leather with my Elie Tahari jacket.

I piled on lots of bracelets and rings, mixed new and vintage necklaces, and grabbed a cheeky vintage bag. We took these on our drenched tennis courts, and I love the watery effect it brought to the photos, don’t you? XO!

How did things even work before Google calendar? I mean, I’ve used Moleskine diaries more or less for the past ten years but I cannot recall the act – outside of business – of consulting it for my personal or social life. I know I’ve documented things in them (kept most of them, actually – I’m a bit of a packrat when it comes to paper) – but I certainly have no memory of coming home on a Friday night and musing over my entries to see what I had committed to that weekend.

This is all to say that last night at ten to eight, whilst standing in line at Trader Joe’s after happy hour cocktails, my phone alerted me to the fact that we had a show to be at in ten minutes. I was shocked. I’d forgotten about it completely! How could I?! It was Wild Flag! I love Wild Flag.

Long story short, we ended up with tickets to their show tonight instead – we’re lucky they’re playing two nights. I probably would have breezed through the whole weekend without realizing it if it weren’t for Google calendar (and my Android phone).

Or maybe I should digress back into good old pen on paper, after all.

Now to the outfit at hand. Say hello again to my awesome bear tights from Latvian designers QooQoo. The cold is sticking for now, we’ve got rain predicted all weekend, and I’ve got firewood (and books) stacked and ready to go just as soon as it starts to rain. Between that, a kettle of Earl Grey and pumpkin muffins baking in the oven, it’s going to smell like heaven in here very soon.

SWEATER DRESSES ARE HERE TO STAY, HOORAY!

Slow-mo hair toss.

The dress is H&M and I’ve got another in a soft, peachy cream shade. I cinched in the waist with an Yves Saint Laurent obi belt in black suede, and popped on my cuffed and studded black suede ankle boots by Trouvé. The fur collars are vintage, and the big black Union Jack bag in leather is from Betsey Johnson.

Let’s talk about nail polish! I’ve been doing all kinds of super basic but really fun nail designs myself. This set is all Zoya polishes: Cynthia (smoky, blackened peacock teal) with Jinx (warm, coppery bronze) for the tips. I love the color combination. The (truly, truly, truly) outrageous feather earring is from Macy’s and came in a pair, but it’s best to wear just one at a time. I got the nudie friendship bracelet from a lovely gal at Indie Mart here in SF, the ring from Pretty Penny in Oakland, and that’s it!

Have a cozy weekend, y’all.

/FFAF

November. A new month. Nine weeks left in the year. The headlong plunge into another holiday season, and when I think it might be our last here for awhile…well, the pressure’s on. Which of course means the only way to guarantee a lovely wrap to the year is to totally let go and come what may, isn’t it?

I describe this beach-friendly look of the tomboy’s as “good old American beachy good times fella”. Just rolling up all the sleeves and all the cuffs and squinting into the horizon, plucking all the gross stuff out of the sea (and/or putting it on top of your head).

It’s an odd thing to be filled with longing for something even as your toes are warming in the sand of it, and when that happens I just look at M’s infectious grin and imagine us exploring the Cape the same we do here on our own (home) coast, and then I’m calm again. Did you know that you can’t take driftwood of our own damn beaches? Pfft.

The tide seemed to be going out, creating this intricate pattern of veins in the sand. The waved moved strangely, too, coming from all directions and crashing together from opposite directions. You could be standing in the water looking straight out west and have waves coming at you from either side and of course from the front. It’s probably got to do with the tiny, uneven sandbars scattered about. In some spots the water was barely an inch deep, and the next step you took would land you in a spot with it up to your knees! Odd little beach.

I hate seaweed so much! M yanked this out and decided to fashion a sort of lasso out of it. Too bad there were no sea calves around for wrassling. She was so intent on finding a crab that she gleefully picked up dozens of their carcasses and was very disappointed when they were dead, dead, dead, guts trailing around – so gross! She also found this curious sea palm tree looking thing.

Nitty gritty: Levi’s jeans, FYASKO plaid shirt, H&M sweater with elbow patches.

She’s SO ANGRY that I might get to see a shark at Rip Curl Pro this week, if I go to the beach without her. It’s a super huge surfing competition something or other happening at Ocean Beach, and it’s likely just a rumor, but there was a lot of buzz about a shark sighting this morning. It goes through the 12th, so if you’re around you should pop by, and maybe we’ll see you there this weekend (as I am sure M will want to do nothing other than try to catch up to my pretty, pretty tan).

Welcome to Roosevelt State Beach, sometimes also known as Naples Beach, just down the way from Princeton-by-the-Sea and the rather famous Mavericks. We are very fond of it due to the fact that it has a long stretch of beautiful dunes without the hikes required at Fort Funston and Devil’s Slide. On a sunny Wednesday afternoon, there was hardly another soul around. Isn’t it lovely?

We’re clearly still experiencing rather warm days even as New York City and Boston have flung themselves headlong into winter. (I’d mention Denver, but it’s always the Wild West over there, as far as weather’s concerned.) I’ve been dying to wear this H&M L.O.G.G. scarf since I bought it. It’s enormous and comprised entirely of toasty autumn shades, and it was just the thing to keep from getting chilly as the wind picked up and the waves soaked my jeans up to the knees!

We found so many perfect sand dollars and pretty shells. Not a single live crab, but there were dozens of carcasses that M fished out of the water with her bare hands. (Gross!) The heart-print blouse with a cheeky Peter Pan collar is also from H&M, but the waffle cardigan is from Hyden Yoo, a small menswear designer (who actually just last year launched a women’s line, too) based in New York. I found it at Gilt and fell in love with it, so I got it even though it’s made for the boys.

M snapped these and did a terrific job. She was very bossy, demanding that I make the scarf “as big as possible, flail it in the wind” which of course just cracked me up. Can you see the bits of hay in my hair? Well, we’d just been to the pumpkin patches where we had a little hay ride, and M tossed a handful into my ‘do. (I guess it was my fault, I’d complained that a photo we’d taken didn’t look like we were on a hay ride at all, and then you can guess what happened…)

Denim: James Jeans
Cardigan: Hyden Yoo
Top, Scarf: H&M, H&M L.O.G.G.
Cuffed Ankle Boots: Nine West
Necklace: Spoiled boutique in Oakland
Sunglasses: Ray-Ban
Earrings: House of Harlow
Gold Bracelet: Lori’s Shoes

What’s everyone got planned for the weekend? M & I are off to a romantic dinner at Elizabeth Falkner’s Orson tonight, as it’s closing its doors on their restaurant to move it into the next phase as a private events space. I wonder if the mood will be one that’s bittersweet, or business as usual!

We’re also hoping to ride some horses sometime this weekend with all this glorious weather. Giddyup!

Hope everyone has a happy and safe Halloween weekend! The petite is dressing up as a referee, and her friends are all going to be football players, which is kind of adorable (especially for thirteen-year-old girls). I am still trying to sell M on dressing up as Popeye and Olive Oyl – I think as long as I get her a fancy pipe, she’s in!

Welcome to Hoarders!

Just kidding, it’s my mama’s obscenely suburban three-car garage. I guess really it’s the domain of my stepdad (typical), who has a tiny television constantly playing old black and white war movies on top of the (second) fridge – which is next to the giant freezer, because zombies, I don’t know – a car that doesn’t run (slug bug!), freaking traffic cones and moving boxes that haven’t been touched since they, well, moved. MAY OUR GARAGES NEVER LOOK LIKE THIS. But! I found a skateboard. So that’s cool.

We were in town for my brother’s birthday. He’s younger than I am, but this one marked the last year of his twenties, which means:

A. Christ, I’m getting older.
B. I get to say all sorts of rotten things to him about his 20s being over.
C. He’s my mother’s favorite, which means she’s cooking beef bourguignon. YES.

Being very kind older sisters, we fetched him some nice things to wear – a hip puffer vest thing, a natty bow tie that M will teach him how to tie and wear at Thanksgiving, they’ve decided – and a pretty pink champagne cake. I don’t know much about it except that it was light and delicious and soaked in champagne, and we got it at a local shop specializing in European desserts.

It was a nice day in San Francisco, which means nearly 90 degrees out where my family lives. Some days we love it, some days we don’t. M decided to shove a pair of swimming trunks into her messenger bag, in case she got too hot in her slacks (she did), and to continue haranguing my mother about how much more often we’d visit if she’d put a swimming pool into the backyard. (I do the same thing, except swap “swimming pool” with “pony”.) I took the opportunity to snag a new pair of sunglasses. These are big and fun and super girly, matched my dress, and were a total steal. I’m not usually a Hilfiger fan, but these are cute.

M bought me this dress sometime over the summer, at Therapy in the Mission. It’s Kensie and silk and really comfortable to wear. I feel like the t-shirt shape up top helps make it dressed up but not dressy. I could easily throw on Sheeba the belt and some nude snakeskin pumps to amp it up, or layer thick tights and a long cardigan with it for colder days, too. Mostly, I love the colors, all rich and earthy, or like a sunset.

Anyway, I totally skateboarded with a refreshing Pimm’s cup in my hand whilst wearing heels, and I didn’t fall down once. Um, I don’t recommend trying it at home, though. M was sure I’d end up with skinned knees and elbows, and a bump on my head. (Pfft.)

Dress: Kensie
Shoes: Novela
Watch: Citizen
Necklace: House of Harlow
Sunglasses: Tommy Hilfiger
Sequined Hair Clip: H&M

The earrings are a sweet little cluster of crystals that M got me last Christmas. Speaking of, I highly recommend the new She & Him Christmas album. Too soon? Don’t care! I’m also a little bit too in love with Best Coast for my own good, hence the title of this post.

XOXO,

FFAF

Welcome to Fort Funston!

It used to be a real live military fort until 1963, but now it’s mostly known for being THE place to take your dogs off-leash, and besides, it’s bloody gorgeous, isn’t it? Our New England friend was astounded by the dramatic terrain and sights of all the hang gliders preparing to take flight where we descended a bajillion stories of uneven, sandy, log-and-cable-made steps to the beach. Such a long way down, but definitely worth it.

Once again, I forgot my camera (it was a kind of unexpected detour after brunch, after all – hence the suede heels!) so these are sub par cell phone photos, courtesy of our HTC EVOs. M was determined to find dead stuff, which she did (a HUGE dead bird, piles and piles of dead crabs), so she moved on to looking for live crabs. No such luck!

Tomboy + femme footwear. Hers are Asos brogues, mine are suede Franco Sarto pumps in maybe the most perfect shade of red I’ve ever seen. M discovered that her RSQ skinny jeans are way too snug for being doused with salt water, then a hike, but they sure look cute with her plaid Alfani shirt and vintage cardigan. I paired a Calvin Klein skirt with an old camisole and denim vest, plus an antique gold rope chain necklace M got for me recently. I also love the wrap dress our friend wore – such a bright, beautiful print!

The next day we drove along the Pacific Coast HWY to get to Half Moon Bay, and we were all very intrigued when we passed this cove. It’s called Grey Whale Cove. It’s also more widely known as Devil’s Slide, and we decided to stop and explore it on the way home. It was another beach requiring quite a hike up and down many sets of wooden stairs (at least these ones are level).

Devil’s Slide is also more locally/commonly known as a particularly terrifying stretch of the 1, where people plummet to their deaths in M’s own personal worst nightmare, and terrible landslides that cause impossible road closures for days and days at a time. They’re building a tunnel, but nobody’s holding their breath because they’ve been at it for decades.

See that thing down there? It’s what remains of an old military observation station last used in WWII. You can even hike up there, and I plan to before the year ends. It’s goddamn awesome.

Lovely, no? We’re also all ignoring the creepy nudist strolling around 25 yards or so behind us. As far as I can tell from the beach’s official website, it’s not that kind of beach! No idea what this giant concrete thing is, probably some sort of unfortunate drainage malarkey, but it looked like a good place to hide a dead body so naturally I went to check it out. M made me climb down (I’d been on that top ledge at first) and having discovered zero corpses, I made my way gingerly over a rusted, broken down wire fence and ran around like a chicken with its head cut off!

Running ’round the barnyard
Fallin’ in and out of love

Poor thing’s blind as a bat
Getting up falling down getting up

My heart’s runnin’ round
Like a chicken with its head cut off

I’ve got on some Banana Republic plants (sounds better than jeggings), a fun deer print top from H&M, and a vintage sweater from IndieMart. The black canvas + brown leather boots are by Seychelles, so comfortable and I love them. 6pm has ‘em for cheap in all three color combos!

Pumpkin patch, rodeo, YES RODEO, pics coming soon! M is taking me TO THE GRAND NATIONAL RODEO tonight, surprise! They’ll be announcing Miss Grand National and it happens to be “Tough Enough to Wear Pink” night, plus cowboy mounted shooting. Can’t wait!

Love,

FFAF

Howdy, folks. How was everybody’s weekend? Ours was bloody fantastic. A dear friend from Boston came to stay with us and it was non-stop fantastical shenanigans from the minute she arrived Friday night, catching up over hibiscus flower cocktails to our early evening tea and cookies send-off on Sunday. We visited several nearby beaches, accompanied her to get a new tattoo at the stunning Seventh Son tattoo shop in SOMA, moseyed around Half Moon Bay’s pumpkin patches and harvest festival, and enjoyed many delicious meals and stories and laughs. It was a blast!

Our Indian Summer persists, despite what these photos may be telling you. We’ve had a few crispy Fall days here and there, but for the most part our days still hover in the 70s. I was so excited to wear this outfit – a super light silk dress fortified with thick black tights, riding boots and a natty, no-nonsense coat and bag. You’ve seen this dress before, but on a warm Spring day with bare legs and platform mules, so it was fun to turn it into something that works for this time of year, too.

I wanted to show y’all our new front door. It’s such a deep, lacquered mahogany, I love it. We got to pick from around six colors – glossy jet black, red-orange, pale blue, brown and darker beige. Originally, I asked for black, but changed my mind when they told me of the hassle involved. We’ve since decorated the house inside and out for Halloween – a wee bale of hay, lots of pumpkins, oversized pieces of candy corn and vampires and ghosts! I’ll try and get some photos up here soon. So festive!

Dress: Julie Brown
Coat: H&M
Boots: Etienne Aigner
Contrast Satchel: Asos
Foxtail: Dollywood

Necklace: Mariele Ivy
Thorned Cuff: Made Her Think
Earrings: Asos
Fox Ring: Asos / Smokey Ring: Pretty Penny, vintage