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Photo credit: Fancy Pants

HOWDY. I am going on week two of what was supposed to only be Spring Break in Boston, MA. After a week in a hotel, our dear friends kindly opened up their home to me in Jamaica Plain when it was evident that I needed to extend my stay. I somewhat dramatically sent the tomboy and petite back home on their scheduled Saturday flight over a week ago! (Don’t ask. Real estate is a strange and messy, often rather annoying world.)

WELCOME TO UNIFORM, a men’s boutique in Boston’s South End. 

Time has warped and bended and it still takes me a good moment to know which way is up when figuring out what time it is where depending upon whomever I am speaking with, or emailing, etc. and I don’t think I’ve ever been away from the tomboy for this long! I’m pulling my hair out, I can’t stand being away from my girls (and those wonky pups), but I’ve gotten so much done that I can’t honestly complain. Jamaica Plain is a lovely distraction, though, with its sweet little boutiques, incredible food, thrifting and vintage, and the super friendly, small town feel.

Alas, these photos are from an outstanding shop for men (and tomboys) in the South End. My friend Fancy (above) got an invite to a special event they were having yesterday – a tasting of expertly mixed St.-Germain cocktails and a storewide sale! Apparently, shops like Uniform are few and far between, and this one is really special.

It feels very Bay Area (read: Castro) to me, and M would love it – once we’re settled here this summer, I’ll have to bring her back to check it out! So many handsome goodies, and those cocktails were very refreshing on such a warm day. Once we were all shopped out, we snagged a table outside next door at Picco, where I had the best peanut butter chip ice cream ever. (Craving some right now, actually, but I’m pretty sure the cake batter ice cream at trusty old JP Licks will do for tonight.)

The forecast for the first week we were here called for cooler weather, and we packed accordingly. Of course, this weekend’s weather report predicted high temps, which gave me a perfectly legitimate excuse to take a day off from house-hunting to peruse JP’s thrift stores, vintage shops, and boutiques. This was the first day of warm weather (before I had the chance to shop), and the best I could do was a crisp, white, short-sleeved blouse by DKNY paired with James Jeans rolled up at the ankle. My vintage brogues, Asos bag and pony belt brought it all together, and I love the dainty touch of my citrine yellow cocktail ring dangling from a Madewell chain.

Photo credit: Fancy Pants

Photo credit: Fancy Pants

Last but certainly not least, how cool is this pirate kitty below? SO COOL. Such a cuddly and ferocious one-eyed beast. We didn’t know this one, but I’m having a blast snuggling up with the three gorgeous ragdoll cats my friends own. That’s all for now, folks. XOXO!

Welcome to Roosevelt State Beach, sometimes also known as Naples Beach, just down the way from Princeton-by-the-Sea and the rather famous Mavericks. We are very fond of it due to the fact that it has a long stretch of beautiful dunes without the hikes required at Fort Funston and Devil’s Slide. On a sunny Wednesday afternoon, there was hardly another soul around. Isn’t it lovely?

We’re clearly still experiencing rather warm days even as New York City and Boston have flung themselves headlong into winter. (I’d mention Denver, but it’s always the Wild West over there, as far as weather’s concerned.) I’ve been dying to wear this H&M L.O.G.G. scarf since I bought it. It’s enormous and comprised entirely of toasty autumn shades, and it was just the thing to keep from getting chilly as the wind picked up and the waves soaked my jeans up to the knees!

We found so many perfect sand dollars and pretty shells. Not a single live crab, but there were dozens of carcasses that M fished out of the water with her bare hands. (Gross!) The heart-print blouse with a cheeky Peter Pan collar is also from H&M, but the waffle cardigan is from Hyden Yoo, a small menswear designer (who actually just last year launched a women’s line, too) based in New York. I found it at Gilt and fell in love with it, so I got it even though it’s made for the boys.

M snapped these and did a terrific job. She was very bossy, demanding that I make the scarf “as big as possible, flail it in the wind” which of course just cracked me up. Can you see the bits of hay in my hair? Well, we’d just been to the pumpkin patches where we had a little hay ride, and M tossed a handful into my ‘do. (I guess it was my fault, I’d complained that a photo we’d taken didn’t look like we were on a hay ride at all, and then you can guess what happened…)

Denim: James Jeans
Cardigan: Hyden Yoo
Top, Scarf: H&M, H&M L.O.G.G.
Cuffed Ankle Boots: Nine West
Necklace: Spoiled boutique in Oakland
Sunglasses: Ray-Ban
Earrings: House of Harlow
Gold Bracelet: Lori’s Shoes

What’s everyone got planned for the weekend? M & I are off to a romantic dinner at Elizabeth Falkner’s Orson tonight, as it’s closing its doors on their restaurant to move it into the next phase as a private events space. I wonder if the mood will be one that’s bittersweet, or business as usual!

We’re also hoping to ride some horses sometime this weekend with all this glorious weather. Giddyup!

Hope everyone has a happy and safe Halloween weekend! The petite is dressing up as a referee, and her friends are all going to be football players, which is kind of adorable (especially for thirteen-year-old girls). I am still trying to sell M on dressing up as Popeye and Olive Oyl – I think as long as I get her a fancy pipe, she’s in!

I’m rallying the power of collective femme realness to help out a dear reader!

Violet (not her real name, but it’s my favorite fake name) wrote to me a little while ago. My experience as a femme has been quite different from hers, so I didn’t feel equipped to give her very specific advice. I knew, however, that there are probably lots of you out there who have overcome or currently struggle with similar issues, and wouldn’t hesitate to provide some support in the comments. Read her query below…

How do you deal with criticism against your sexuality?

Violet writes: “I’m 18 and awkwardly came out to my parents a year and a half ago and ever since I’ve been ridiculously careful with what I disclose to my friends and family. Unfortunately, my family and I moved away from my liberal home-city abroad into a disgustingly well-manicured and subtlety corrupt society in the US two years ago…I was nervous that my friends parents, teachers and fellow schoolmates would…treat me differently.

If you’re gay here, you keep it a secret. That’s just how it works. No one wants to hear about it, talk about it or even acknowledge it. I can’t wait to get out of here next year, but I also know that it’s not the last time in life I will have to deal with this kind of treatment. I’m feminine as well and sometimes when I’ve told people that I’m gay they just look at me like I’m lying straight to their face/am going through a phase and they pity me. I honestly don’t know what to do and would like to know how you’ve done.”

Anyone who knows me is well aware of the fact that my knee-jerk response to this would be to slap someone silly. (Or, more likely, to cut them off coldly for evermore and never look back.) Not the healthiest responses, are they? That’s where y’all come in!

Violet needs some tools that go beyond an It Gets Better campaign, stuff she can use in her day-to-day interactions with family, peers and friends that will help her set boundaries and assert her femme-ness without necessarily burning bridges.

Please, please, please spend a moment in the comments to weigh in!

Book Club Meeting: Light Years by James Salter

Thrifted “Stuart Hall” Blazer
Vintage shirt, Pretty Penny
James Jeans (which I really ought to have cuffed, just once)
Dolce Vita platform mules
Vintage Dooney & Bourke bag
Beaded wooden necklace, India
Bear tooth necklace, Mariele Ivy

Howdy, kittens! This day was strange. It began shrouded in fog and sadly, a local tragedy. When we woke up this morning, we could hear the non-stop fog horns on all the cargo ships out in the bay, coming and going from the Port of Oakland, under the Golden Gate Bridge. We’re pretty far from the water, so it was kind of spooky and magical. M got the alert about the power being down as she dropped me off at the office (wearing a sweater!), and headed back home to wait it out while I worked.

Fast-forward four or so hours. 30 minutes south a town and company on the cusp of their IPO and surely the family of the crash victims began to pick up the pieces. The lethal fog had lifted completely, leaving the sweet, warm sun to shine down on the city. It lapped it up. M picked me up. We lapped it up! She and I decided a day this spectacular didn’t deserve squandering, and so we packed up and headed out into the world for a reading date. Our first thought was Atlas Cafe – they have such a great little back patio. Then, I remembered Pilsner Inn’s lovely little courtyard and we decided reading over beers at 3PM was far superior to reading over iced mochas. Alas, Pilsner Inn had workers toiling away back there, with loud machines and sawdust (and carting in, I think, a Creature from the Black Lagoon arcade game!), so we bid the bartender adieu and made our way down the street.

After snapping a few pics of intriguing local scenery (cherry blossoms, painted deer (above, being air-shot by M), scooters with giant wooden boxes affixed to the rear), I remembered Cafe Flore in the Castro! It was perfect. We quickly took up a carafe of margaritas and a small table. Nouvelle Vague played quietly in the back of my mind. The sky shone blue, blue, blue and it was heavenly.

Two more days until Flourish’s one-year anniversary party! It’s going to be fabulous. We can’t wait.

PS. I know. I pegged my jeans. I couldn’t help it. I felt a gripping need to show some ankle.

CONFESSION: Last night, I tried on two of those POS wanker Victoria’s Secret fragrances I got forever ago, with a pair of super soft, sexy pajamas (free slippers with purchase!). One was so gross and cloyingly sweet that M described it as “someone trying to layer on perfume over dirty ass” and I simply referred to it as a whore’s bath perfume. Seriously. I refuse to even bequeath it to anyone since it screams CRUSTY SLUT + EXCESS BRONZER. It’s called Ooh La La, but is more like Oh, Hell Nah. I really hope none of you like it, because I’m not going to feel bad and I’m not going to take it back, either! (Damn it, I just realized that I reviewed OLL in late December of last year, in Shovels & Lye. At least I’m consistent!?)

The Fragrance was No. 2, boasts top notes of crushed leaves, freesia, mandarin (What the fuck kind of leaves? Isn’t that sort of key?) and does begin rather citrus-y and benign. I had to give it another go-round today because Ooh La La sent my senses into a diabetic coma, but it doesn’t seem to change my opinion of it as a rather boring and one-hit wonder scent. Not even a good hit, either. Something Milli Vanilli-ish. (If I spelled that wrong, it’s b/c I refuse to google it for the proper spelling. Fakers don’t get my hits! I have standards.) It’s not offensive, just boring. Very un-sexy. For instance, Laura Bush should totally check this out. It’s perfect for her.

From the Dream Angels collection comes Wish, which is TOTALLY FUCKING AWESOME if you want to smell like orange sherbet ice cream and baby powder, and reminds me of back in the day when my folks would take us to Baskin Robbins on special occasions, and someone would be like, “Oh, you should have some water,” and I’d be all, “The fuck for? I drink my water in Kool-Aid, man. Step off, my peanut-butter-and-chocolate ice cream cone is melting.” Or, you know, changing diapers. Also, it irks me that something so vile has to share the same word with a stellar The Cure album, but what are you gonna do?

Someone at the VS fragrance think tank needs to ground themselves from citrus for, like, a year, and then get back to me.

PS. Ain’t much to say about this outfit ‘cept there’s a mean cold snap this week and mama needs to go SHOPPING. I do, however, have a new brown sheath dress that is super Joan Holloway and was recently procured at the thrift store for FIDDY MOFO CENTS, YO. Holla / Coming Soon.

PPS. What the hell is up with the Christian Siriano for VS make-up collection? When the cover model on the website looks kind of rough in all your war paint, dude, you need to step up your game. Do any of y’all have it? Is it good? Not that I’m in the market…my quick beauty fix lately has been a dusting of Cargo bronzer as a wash over the entire lid, with heavy-handed mascara at the lash base instead of eyeliner. Fresno and Coral Beach are my favorites right now, but it seems the former is discontinued. SOB.

PPSS. Lips? Besame’s Red Velvet. Creamy and subtle red for when MAC’s Russian Red is too much damn work.

CONFESSION: Check-out at Hotel Vertigo. Super dreamy lobby. You can read more about it here, if you’d like. We are up and at ‘em on approximately 4-5 hrs. of sleep and absolutely pining for donuts and coffee. We weren’t sure how nightmarish the Love Parade malarkey would be, so we just dashed out of there right before noon and headed to our favorite Noe Valley donut shop. They have Peerless coffee there! A plus. Let’s see if you can guess what I’m thinking as I gaze fondly down upon that polished, gorgeous hunk of wood.

CONFESSION: It was so Fall on this day! Monday, to be exact. I used to loathe the grey + ivory combination, but I am for it this season, especially if you swap the predictable dash of mustard with a nice, predictable and lush rose instead. Ideally, in some sort of ridiculously lavish, ruffled suede. Mm. I guess I’m sort of a moron for not throwing on my pink posie Tulle coat on over this. Next time!

CONFESSION: We discovered that M hates shooting at night and Halloween today. I know, right? OK, so night shooting is HARD and a pain in the ass, but hating Halloween? I think I should remind her about candy corn and slutty costumes bonding with loved ones in a creepy way. In any case, I can’t let her hate Halloween until we’ve dressed up as Moroccan Tranny Patsy and Edina first. It’s our dream! I had fun on the night shoot; we explored the creepy alley across the street and I pretended to be scary and chased kittens around.

NOTE: I gave y’all a three-for-one because even though they were different pairs of jeans, they were still jeans. Never fear (esp. not you, H), I had heels on in both of the above and a brand spankin’ new pair of hella fierce Betsey Johnson tights that are dying to debut themselves.

QUERY: An extremely lovely and devoted reader recently wondered if I might do a Q & A here at FFAF, and you know what I thought? I thought I would, if you’d like. Feel free to send burning questions to fitforafemme@gmail.com and I’ll answer enthusiastically and in bulk to the best of my ability!

CONFESSION: Despite the return of the fog (which also hosed my beachy wave plans for yesterday) and the fact that I cannot take BART like I want to into Oakland because our SF parking permits still haven’t arrived, today was excellent! The morning coffee was delicious, I was productive before leaving for an appointment in the East Bay, my amazing threader at The Brow Lounge saw me even though I was 15 minutes late (I went to the wrong location, and yes, I will continue to see her as she has been the boss of my eyebrows for, like, four whole years – the second longest long-term commitment of my life after M, if you must know).

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