fitforafemme.com

When: Sunday, February 8th, 2009.

What: Orange crochet and polka dot dress by Bazei, layered over a brown keyhole turtleneck from Nine West. Vintage leather jacket by Wilson’s and leather boots by Lamica. Bronze leather earring by Brooklyn’s Idyllic4U Couture.

Confession: I didn’t crawl out of bed until after 2pm today. I was too busy clinging to my bed between hot and cold sweats and gritting my teeth through an excruciating headache (I realize it could have been a migraine). I am not sure what the hell that was, but after lots of water and sleep and a long shower and many, many fistfuls of Advil, I seemed to be back to normal. Which is a good thing because M & I promised the petite we’d take her to see Coraline this afternoon, and I’d even read the book from cover to cover late last night! Anyway, it was very creepy and sweet and I feel better, so hurrah.

PLEASE KEEP NOMINATING FIT FOR A FEMME FOR A LEZZY AWARD!

Cool Coraline graphic from Siglap Media Resource Library, some closer shots of the earring:

When: Thurs., Jan. 16th, 2008.

Femme What: Pink coat by Tulle, black dress by H&M, striped scarf of unknown origin, dark pink suede pumps with flower by Franco Sarto.

Femme Scent: I needed something light and bright for this bizarre, mid-January summer day! I decided on Diptyque’s Oyedo. It goes on a bit sharp and sweet, but dries down to a very amicable and polite scent, very serene. The staying power isn’t good at all! Its notes are described as “citrus fruits and thyme on a ground of wood scents,” and the scent itself as “an orchard of limes and tangerines on the shore of the Great South Sea.” I think the thyme rounds it off as it dries down, but I wish this stayed on better so that I could give it a fairer chance.

Femme Confession: I just finished my cheesecake breakfast – the crust to filling ratio was appx. 2:1 – it was excellent! We still have half a baby cheesecake left from a friend’s birthday dinner last night, at Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse. Aside from the fact that the name of the place grates on my soul to a degree I cannot adequately express without wanting to throw something, or that my petite filet was swimming in garlic butter when it arrived, it was pretty delicious and pleasant overall! I particularly enjoyed my pear twist martini – Belvedere Lemonessence “twisted” with Absolut Pear Vodka and fresh lemon sour – despite the fact that it initially gave off a very subtle black licorice or anise-like flavor. Oh, and we took these silly photos in the handsome lobby of our building! Ha. God, I love furniture by Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams.

Tomboy What: Awesome Fox motorcycle leather jacket, white Alfani dress shirt, revolver tie by Cyberoptix Tie Lab (x-mas gift!), argyle belt by, uh, a place that sells belts, Kenneth Cole slacks, Kenneth Cole black boots.

Tomboy Scent: Well? I am clearly wearing a moto-jacket with slacks, so only Varvatos Vintage will work here.

Tomboy Confession: I didn’t think there could be such a thing as too much butter, when in fact there very much is such a thing. And Ruth’s definitely crosses that line! I was, however, very pleased with the broiled ginormous tomatoes, and my handsome Maker’s Mark cocktail. Next time ask for butter on the side!

When: TGIFriday, Jan. 9th, 2008.

Femme What: Sheer floral t-shirt by Shameless, black jumper by French Toast, vintage silk polka dot scarf, rand-o tights and necklace-cum-belt from unmemorable origin. Black leather and wool sweater by BCBG Max Azria and boots by Lamica.

Femme Scent: Caron’s Coup de Fouet – Eau De Cologne Poivrée. It’s described as being a unisex fragrance, a “refreshing fragrance on a base of rose and carnation, accentuated with a hint of pepper.”

The intensity is overwhelming at first application. It’s spicy, almost tangy and thick with cloves, even swerving for a few moments dangerously close to potpourri. All this underneath a cloud of something medicinal. It does dry down into something much softer, and the floral gradually undulates, but all so stubbornly. The staying power is good. M said that it smells like a “scent blocker” – like it’s hiding something else, or used to cover up something. The translation is “crack the whip,” which I rather like, but this merely makes me feel perplexed, but in a sort of rabid, obsessive way.

Maybe they meant it that way. Caron, cracking the whip at all the femmes since 1957! Word.

Femme Confession: I’m seriously having some critical and urgent hair dysmorphia, y’all. M is sick of me whining about it. She’s given up trying to reassure me that my ends look just fine and simply rolls her eyes at me and tells me that I have mental problems and might want to seek help. My friends coo reassurances. I, however, continue to jump into pools of harsh light like a spastic frog or insect, grabbing a lock of hair and staring unblinking and with disgust at my split ends. It’s fucking untenable. I recently gave a lovely FFAF reader a list of salons in our area without so much as skipping a heartbeat and my BFF is absolutely thrilled with her new hair, which I helped to advise yesterday. I, however, remain homeless, salon-wise.

YOU CAN’T HELP SOMEONE WHO WON’T HELP THEMSELVES. CRY.

Tomboy What: Brixton ‘Hooligan’ plaid hat (which everyone loves and tells me they love it, including total strangers in the elevator), awesome almost-worn-in RVCA jeans, brownish-green hoodie from Express for Men, blue T-shirt from the GAP and brown boots by Aldo.

Tomboy Scent: John Varvatos Vintage cologne. Do you want to smell fancy and ruggedly handsome, like a polo player or a fighter jet pilot? This is the scent for you! Not too clean, not too dirty, definitely handsome, but a quiet handsome, not the chatty, attention-whorey handsome! Top notes and description as follows: “Brisk Moroccan coastal plants spiked with piquant fruits, cinnamon tree leaves, pepper, lush florals, smooth woods, and Turkish tobacco make this scent truly unforgettable.”

Tomboy Confession: I sneaked out for a fancy hot dog for lunch today, even though it takes me forever to get there and back, because they are THAT good! It pisses me off that they are so far, and that they only accept cash and that it’s in the middle of a stupid mall, BUT I STILL GO THERE! Today, I find that prices have gone up some 25% for a hot dog, but you know what? I will probably be going back sooner or later. Sucker!

When: Monday, Jan. 5, 2009.

What: Satin blouse with attached tie from Libertine for Target, Ralph Lauren black corduroys, black vest by H&M, over-the-knee boots by Lamica. Black leather gloves, vintage.

Scent: Chanel No. 5. Because I’m something of a self-made orphan with very little in the way of familial traditions, I’ve worn Chanel No. 5 for years. As a woman, it was one of the very first perfumes that I purchased for myself, fondly linking it with the memories of women on my mother’s side of the family…my aunt, my mother, my grandmother. It reminds me of stepping into my late aunt’s closet full of tiny shoes when I was a little girl – she wore a size 5 – and without fail after every visit she’d send me home with a pair that she no longer wanted or needed. I’d always be so antsy with joy to get home and stomp around in them with my own outfits. It reminds me of my late grandmother’s fancy vanity set or her sturdy Chanel No. 5 & See’s Candies hugs or softly sung songs auf Deutsch, the pre-divorce days of my mother in a whirlwind of fantastic costume jewelry, open Clinique cosmetics everywhere, freshly coiffed with something shimmery and taffeta on, just before a night out. The good things.

When I spritz a little bit on myself, I’m reminded that there were good things once, and I get to decide how I’ll go about making my own. The older I get, the more memories I’ve got of my own Chanel No. 5 shenanigans; the soft, powdery sweet with just a flicker of sharpness, like a little flame almost, tickling my senses when I’m in bed or wandering city streets alone, during memorable arguments or when holding my own petite. The good things.

Top notes: top notes include ylang ylang, neroli and aldehydes; its mid notes May rose and jasmine; and its base notes sandalwood, vetiver and vanilla.

Confession: Do you see this chair? These photos hardly do it justice. Here’s another, just the chair. OK. My friend lovingly reupholstered it in her college days and was very sad not to be able to take it with her back to NYC, but very happy to have it go to a familiar, loving home instead of left on a lonesome San Francisco curb somewhere. I think I might love it just as much as she did! It is all sorts of comfortable and my new favorite chair for reading and internet-ing. Because both M and the petite say that it’s too far away from them (it was very controversial, measurements were taken and everything), I will be rearranging the living room this week. I will also post photos!

When: Tuesday, Nov. 25th, 2008.

What: (Let’s start from the bottom, shall we?) Red leather pumps with ankle strap, Nine West. Black knee socks, Betsey Johnson. Black jersey skirt, Sylvie & Mado. Black keyhole turtleneck, Nine West. Blue cardigan from Buffalo by David Bitton. Belt, thrifted. Red wool coat, vintage I. Magnin. Leather argyle cuff from Grove St. Kids in Berkeley and feather headband from modcloth.com. (For the Bangmaster: The Grape Lakes by OPI.)

Scent: Today I am wearing Guerlain Insolence, which M gave to me on one of our dates a year or more ago. (She gives me fantastic little date night gifts every once in awhile. It’s lovely.) It is described on Sephora like so: “Exuberant notes of violet are accompanied by jubilant red berries like raspberry. A hint of orange blossom and rose impart a striking intensity, while sensual iris and tonka bean resins finish the scent, making Insolence the ultimate luxury fragrance.”

It is very sweet, if you are familiar with it, then yes, this is definitely a fragrance martini with a generous shot of Guerlinade. The staying power is wonderful, it just kind of floats around you, a very soft and very feminine and very pink perfume. I stood in front of all my many bottles and decants and vials this morning, hesitating, and then (who knows why, perhaps because of a frisky morning) I realized of course the Insolence!

Confession: Being a (temporary) housewife/housefemme is HARD, yo. I just got home from the bank, the drycleaners, selling 3 bags of the petite’s clothes to a resale shop where she “made” $40, getting gas, exchanging some not-so-goodies for goodies at Sephora (Kinerase Clear Skin Moisture Light & I are friends again, Kat Von D lipstick in Lolita, the Tarte limited edition Tres Cheek 3-piece set), lunch at Pasta Pomodoro (kids eat free on Tuesdays, apparently) and Claire’s, where I procured a satin ivory bow headband. That was all after a very pleasant (read: morning sex FTW) morning. SCORE. Anyway, it was very busy, and now you’ll have to excuse me, as I have to take the pork chops out of the oven, and serve them to my family with applesauce and delicious stuffing. And Ketel One cosmos, of course. Oh, and soft, fresh vanilla cupcakes with a huge dollop of cream cheese frosting for dessert. Wish you were here!