fitforafemme.com

Meet one of Brooklyn’s finest femmes, kittens! Here’s the delightful Bevin Branlandingham of FemmeCast and Queer Fat Femme. She and I ran a little workshop at the Femme2010: No Restrictions conference last Friday morning. We met for the first time in June at her incredible Re/Dress & Size Queen event in Oakland, after becoming fast internet friends through our mutual love of fashion, all things femme, and involvement on our respective committees with the Femme Collective earlier this year.

Also, her tomboy friends have the cutest puppies, don’t you think?

Of course, her outfit rules. This is one LBD that refuses to be outdone, and the little tart hair clip was quite the cherry on top of her ensemble. Here’s her really impressive bio, since it says it way better than I could:

Bevin Branlandingham is the Host and Producer of FemmeCast: The Queer Fat Femme Podcast Guide to Life. She is a flamboyant femmecee, writer, drag king, burlesque and comedy performer. She is Co-Head Madam of the Femme Family, the New York Chapter of the Femme Mafia, on the steering committee for the Fat and Queer conference and the media committee for the Femme Conference. In 2008 Bevin received a Commendation from the Mayor of Jersey City for her work with the LGBT community. Her writing has been published in numerous periodicals and she has performed throughout North America. Her mission is to make the world a safe place for people to love themselves, regardless of their marginalizations. Her website (including blog, calendar of events and workshops) is found at QueerFatFemme.Com.

She also blogs at Butch-Femme.com and The Femme’s Guide to Absolutely Everything and performs throughout North America.

This has to be one of my most favorite collages ever. Adorable puppy? Check. Pretty, multi-talented femmes? Check. Dildo? Check. Fancy hair ornaments? Check. DONE AND DONE.

I need Bevin to chime in on her outfit particulars, but here are mine:

Dress: Calvin Klein
Shoes: MaxStudio
Bag: Betsey Johnson
Earrings: Vintage
Necklace: Culp Baubles
Feathered Hair Clip: Buffalo Exchange

Waiting for Rufus Wainwright. After the closing remarks at the conference, M fetched me from the hotel and we set out for Napa. It couldn’t have been a more perfect evening. The temperature was perfect, the light falling softly at sundown was perfect, dinner was outstanding and Rufus Wainwright was absolutely wonderful, as always. At one point during the show, M whispered to me “How is he even a real person? His albums sound so good, but then you hear him live up there and he’s somehow much, much better than all that!” and I nodded with my tear-streaked face.

He made corny Napa jokes and told a few stories between songs, and he played La Complainte de la butte and Memphis Skyline (two of my favorites). Zebulon undid me completely. His sister brought the petite onstage and they all sang together (well, the petite cooed), and it was really lovely. I cannot wait until he’s back in November with the SF Symphony for Five Shakespeare Sonnets.

I am going to go every single day of the 3-day series, come hell or high water.

When: Saturday, Jan. 10th, 2009.

What: Silk blouse by Chelsea Flowers, James Jeans Dry Aged Denim. Wool beret from H&M, black patent pumps by MaxStudio, metallic leather bag by Dolce Vita.

Confession: M & I had another San Francisco date today. It was superfun, and we went to Baghdad Cafe for brunch, which is where our first ‘real’ date was (see, we made out the night we met at a lesbian club called Hot Pants, and then I was super wily for a few weeks, and then she finally caught me and we had a date…and then happily ever after, la la la). We want to buy the handsome house in the alley this photo was taken in – exactly between the Mission and Castro off 16th.

The gays at Mr. S fawned all over my beret and the one guy made humping sex moves when explaining to us that the leather can gradually stretch over time and with normal use, so to make sure we come back if any adjustments need to be made, and by the way, “Nice heels!” AWESOME. Below are some photos from this awesome Cajun gingerbread restaurant in Oakland. My parents used to come here on special occasions ALL THE TIME when I was very, very wee, and it closed kind of abruptly last year, before M & I had the chance to try it. Sad. Still, I’m glad we got some photos before we move and it gets torn down and everyone forgets all about it, boo hoo hoo.

Also, here are my foul split ends and a photo of just how spectacularly pretty it was today:

When: Thurs., Dec. 11th, 2008.

What: Scarf by H&M, white cotton ‘beater by Mimi & Coco, black jumper by French Toast, floral black lace tights from Target. Vintage oversized clutch and patent pumps by MaxStudio.

Confession: I picked this jumper up at a thrift store for $1.50, I think. It’s fucking POLYESTER. Awesome. It’s a standard issue girls uniform, yo. For realsies, go to the website, it comes in navy, too! For $16.98 or something ridiculous. Anyway, I wore this last night to a ROCK EMO SHOW. You see, a local radio station put on an event with Death Cab For Cutie, The Killers, Franz Ferdinand and Bloc Party on the bill. It was fun, and Death Cab smoked the other bands, though Franz Ferdinand put on a really good show (their wardrobes were a great disappointment, though). I was disappointed by The Killers and sort of ‘meh’ on Bloc Party, despite the fact that their drummer boy had on neon pink and green shorts on the whole time. Perhaps most amusing is that at 7pm I was totally fine without a sweater or coat or anything, but as the night went on I was forced to put on the VIP hoodie each of us was given when we arrived. IT GOT SO COLD. They said it’s going to get really cold here and could even snow at 1500 ft. on Bay Area mountaintops! (Go ahead, all you freezing femmes – throw snowballs at my spoiled California ass!)

When: Friday, Dec. 5th, 2008.

What: Cable knit turtleneck sweater by Dolce Vita, striped silk skirt by MaxStudio, tights by Old Navy and dark gray and red knit socks by mysterious Italians. Boots by Charles David. I cannot remember where in the hell this cute little hat came from, but it’s adorable and keeps my head very warm, indeed.

Scent: Burberry The Beat, with the following notes: Bergamot, Cardamom, Pink Pepper, Mandarin, Iris, Bluebell, Ceylon Tea, White Musk, Vetiver, Cedarwood. Boy, oh boy. This is nowhere near as complex as they’d like it to be. At best it’s merely pleasant, like clean laundry fresh from the dryer. A soft and sweet scent, scarcely hinting at any maturity or complexity. At worst, it’s like the perfume equivalent of a child splattering paint against an easel and praising it as a masterpiece. In other words, Burberry lies. It does go on with a bit of a zing, right away, and it’s staying power is good, but it just mellows out into something that is nice, but nothing special. (ZOMG, is The Beat an Agness Deyn metaphor?) But it’s good for days when I’m not terribly invested in anything and want to smell flirty and light.

Confession: I took four 5th grade girls to see Twilight this afternoon. My text to the tomboy after getting out says: “Just got out of movie. Holy fuck, I deserve so much alcohol. Seriously. OMG.” When she texted back “What kind?” I simply replied, “Just pour it on my face. I don’t care.” I had no idea what to expect of this movie. I tried to read the first book a week ago and doing so felt exactly the same as waiting in line at the DMV. I know some of y’all are fans, and that’s fine, but all I knew was this: Vampires. Teen drama. Repressed Mormon author channeling sexual frustration into weak plot; nothing steamier than a good make-out.

I won’t “spoil” the movie for you, but just a few things:

1. They are so fucking pasty. It’s bad. It’s like pretending Johnny Depp’s Sweeney Todd face is A-OK in present day high schools of America. LIES. Those freakshow vampire kids would get their pasty asses beat down, every day. EVERY. DAY.

2. It’s not even good pasty. It’s “How sad for that person that they stopped the make-up at the neck” pasty. Wrongful. Tsk-tsk, etc.

3. I swear to GOD that Bella actress studied every single Party of Five and Neve Campbell movie ever made to mimic her exact grimace-y, wincing, on-the-verge-of-awkward-outbursts-or-tears schtick. It was painful. And her co-star, the hunky vampire? Looked like he might vomit during the first half of the movie. The rest of the time I was distracted by his gravity-defying hairdo.  And the sparkles.

4. The only scene I liked was the one that bordered on a campy SNL skit about vampires. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve already done one or will do one soon.

When: Tuesday, September 9th, 2008.

What: Black ruffled dot blouse from Target. Black and white striped silk skirt by MaxStudio. Floral print scarf by Lulu Guinness. Sheer yellow belt, vintage. Hot pink pumps by Chinese Laundry and oversized teal bracelet from H&M.

Confession: Sometimes the outfits you toss on in a crusty-eyed fog after sleeping in are the best ones. At lunch today I discovered very sad news! My favorite jewelry store is moving to an undetermined location soon. I wandered in there whilst waiting for my Singaporean takeout next door, and they explained to me that the lease is up and they’re not sure where they’ll go next. At least they’re not closing!

She noticed my new ring and started to fuss over it – the first stranger to do so since it was given to me! – then the other lady came in who works there and suddenly these three older ladies were crowded around me making a big to-do over it all, including the eldest (also a loyal customer of the store, it seemed – we’re both known on a first-name basis). It was really sweet and adorable, and not a single one of them batted an eye when it became apparent that I’m an engaged lesbian. That was really nice.

Then the oldest woman said to me, “I was admiring your outfit when I got out of my car. You just sauntered on by and Ooh! I thought to myself I would have worn an outfit just like that when I was her age!” and as she was saying this she was kind of gesturing at the bits she liked, like the scarf and the skirt, with a flourish, as if to demonstrate that she, too, was once a sprightly young thing all flushed with love! It was an incredibly cute and sincere little exchange.

When: Saturday, August 30th, 2008.

What: Ruby Saturday night fever dress and shiny black mesh purse, vintage. Black patent pumps from MaxStudio, striped belt by Polo Ralph Lauren and classic black leather watch by Guess. Funky roller skates courtesy of Lola Staar’s Dreamland Roller Rink on Coney Island.

Confession: I picked this dress up and instantly fell in love with it. In 2005, I had another 70s polyester dream in the loveliest mauve shade but it died in a horrible smoking accident (ahem). When I heard that we were going to have our own roller skating version of Saturday Night Fever at Coney Island, I knew this dress would be absolutely perfect.

When: Tuesday, August 19th, 2008.

What: Chiffon racerback floral tank from GO Int’l. Gray trousers from Glow on Lakeshore Ave. Pink snakeskin sandals by MaxStudio. All jewelry has been scooped up from this or that East Bay boutique!

Confession: I’ve only worked where I do for over a year. What can I say? I get bored rather easily at a rate of speed possibly faster than even Maxwell’s equations can manage. There is a lovely gem of nature just a stone’s throw from my workplace that I have not explored prior to this evening.

It makes the lush backdrop for today’s post, and I trust it will provide me with a fiery autumnal palette in coming months. (A reason, I suppose, to stay exactly where I am for at least a little while longer!) I hope you like the change of scenery!