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I wish you guys could make out the meringue yellow stripes on this cozy t-shirt. They pop wonderfully, just not in this particular set of photos.

I was very proud of the fact that I managed a perfect French twist in the morning, out of the blue, but then failed at maintaining it intermittently throughout the day. Until it was dinnertime, at which point I furiously mashed about half a teaspoon of Jonathan Dirt Texturizing Paste into my palms, hand-teased my hair, and pinned it up haphazardly.

Here’s the AM version, as well as a photo of my super gross tape measure work accident:

As you can see, my office walls are painted all kinds of cerulean blue. This is awesome, except for the fact that they are naked. I ended up ordering an assortment of bright, bold wall decals designed to look like ornate, sort of vintage photo frames of all sizes.

Aren’t they neat?

After I determine how they’ll be grouped on the main wall, I am thinking of having our design department print out some choice words (like my title Maven, for instance) to put inside of the frames, in the mood of the whole Keep Calm & Carry On thing. They’ll be removable of course, which is great as I am fickle and like to change things around often. Where the hell was I going with this? Ah, yes. The hand.

Well, I was measuring the width and height of the wall with a new tape measure and at some point during which it was stretched out by 12′, it slipped and sliced my knuckle open. Bullocks. It bled copiously. My very sweet colleague had to go and fetch a First Aid kit, as we had zilch with which to treat my wound. I consulted a doctor friend and said, “It’s deep, like I can see meaty white stuff, but it’s mostly stopped bleeding,” and she said, “Oh, the white stuff is your fat, when was your last tetanus shot?” Super.

Do I look like a girl with lockjaw? Nah. It was my left hand, too, y’all! (Did we know that I’m a lefty? Well, now we do.) A LESBIAN WITH ONE HAND OUT OF COMMISSION MAKES TWO REAL SAD LESBIANS. Other than it, I’m fine now.

This post was named after this excellent little Trina Turk ruffled ponte jacket, which I’m wearing again today over a flowy silk dress and riding boots. I wanted to find a jacket that was very special and could spice up pretty much anything in my closet. I tried on a shimmery Valentino Red jacket I was in love with, but the 4 cut off the circulation in my arms and I was swimming in the 8 – of course there were no 6s to be found and I almost cried in the store.

Shoes: Vintage YSL
Wide-legged velvet trousers: Erin Fetherston for Target
Striped t-shirt: Michael Stars
Jacket: Trina Turk
Bag: Co-Lab by Christoper Kon
Sunglasses: Ray-Ban
Bangle: Pier One
Spiked freshwater pearl earrings: Banana Republic

Confession: Welcome to my Mother’s Day outfit. It was so gorgeous yesterday! The shoes and shorts came from the Rockridge Crossroads on a very rainy day, when my lust for sunshine and summer kicked in and gave me the vision for this little outfit. I have no terribly exciting news otherwise, so I’ll just share a nice springtime romance video with you, courtesy of youtube.com and the terribly hip Rojo and, of course, Camera Obscura! Enjoy!

PS. I spilled cava on these shoes! Oops! But aren’t they sweet?!

Confession: OK, OK. I didn’t really smoke inside of the loft, settle down. That’s so against the law. The rules. You know. ALRIGHT, SO IT WAS ONE MEASLY DRAG, but it was totally by accident, I swear to God. I was channeling Monica Bellucci in Malena (or maybe Joan Holloway from Mad Men, does it really matter which?) and got a little carried away. The entire unsmoked cigarette is in the trash under my sink if you don’t believe me. Where was M? At her monthly poker game, winning us some monies, bless her heart (she always wins). If it’s of any consolation, I sat through 17 Again this afternoon at the movies (yes, with that Zac Efron douche), eating free popcorn and squeezing some joy from the sad 80s references spattered like roadkill throughout the movie. I also overcame great technological odds and mastered my newfangled new special DJ box thingee all by myself before lunchtime, so there!

PS. Yes, I know it’s very bad and naughty, but to be perfectly honest I can’t remember the last time I smoked a cigarette the whole way through, much less several in a day. It very seldomly happens anymore!

Confession: Y’all? These are fancy new pictures from my fancy new camera! Except they aren’t that fancy yet, because I am only on page 30-something in the manual, which is very…well, let’s just say that I think I’m supposed to create a custom menu for every possible mode combination and that is HARD.

I’m still figuring out what the hell is what! Even with the automatic, point-and-shoot settings, I hope you can tell the difference! I’ll get better real soon, I swan. One last thing? Good LORD it’s gonna take some getting used to that this camera is so sharp it picks up: stray dog hairs, dust, imperfections on my fussy ass skin (I have a threading appt. tomorrow, shut up!), etc. See how crispy the non-reflection stuff is compared to the reflection? MAYBE M SHOULD CLEAN HER SIDE OF THE MIRROR, GUYS.

The second order of business for today (and I know it’s lovely all across the whole country today, but this post is for nibbles over the weekend, hence the title) is to say YEEHAW, M & I got featured on yesterday’s Queer Eye Candy. Check us out here.

Queer Eye Candy is a neat little blog that gives you fresh queer meat to nom on every day, and who can say no to that?

PS. I ran into the bathroom in a feisty huff after reading M’s comment about the bathroom sink(s), to prove my point via photo. Well, after taking a good, long look at the state of things, two things are clear:

1. There are no winners here.
2. Please, God, if you love me at ALL you won’t make me move into a 1-bathroom come June. Please.
3. Honestly? Honestly, three bathrooms would be best for all parties involved. This prevents me from scarring someone with a hot roller.

When: First day of the new year, 2009.

What: Dreamy Sonic Youth canvas tote from a show of theirs in the early 2000s, M’s captain hat, rust cotton t-shirt from Michael Stars, black wool sweater with holy stripes from some aspiring local designer I did a shoot for forever ancient history ago, skinny jeans from Zara, over-the-knee black Italian leather boots from Lamica.

Scent: I foolishly felt that I was on a roll with masculine scents, so I gave Parfum d’Orsay’s Le Dandy Pour Homme a whirl. I felt thrown abruptly back into ye ole straight days, suffocated by some clingy, insufferable male. (Is that awful? So.) The notes are described as “tobacco flower, whiskey, a heart of spice with ginger, and lower notes of wood and balsam.” It made me want to hurl a teacup at somebody!

I’m sure it would be delicious on M, however, and it was boozy but ultimately I wanted to scrub it off right away. Perhaps I’ll have her try it on tomorrow and she can co-author a second review!

Confession: I hope everyone had a fantastical night last night! Happy New Year, my delightful readers! The tomboy and I stayed in and kept a stream of appetizers going through the night and an even steadier stream of cava cocktails flowing, and we watched two very gay movies: Itty Bitty Titty Committee, which was really cute and funny and of course I ? the soundtrack, and Shine Louise Houson at Pink & White Production’s lesbian porn Superfreak, which was not as great a success as the former. I’ll save the reviews for Sugar Walls over at BCP, but I will say I just can’t get it up when I’m watching a porn starring past acquaintances! Perhaps I am too formal, but there you have it.

Speaking of formal, I made an amazing dinner tonight! I’m quite pleased with myself. It took FOREVER. It was just a classic baked chicken recipe that I kicked up a notch with paprika and onions, and it came out perfectly juicy, with just crispy enough, golden brown skin. We seasoned baby Yukon gold potatoes with garlic-infused olive oil, sea salt and pepper to throw in the oven, and I used the drippings from the chicken to make a Chilean white wine gravy reduction. M never eats any sort of gravy and she loved the one I made tonight. My resolutions are writing themselves, it seems.

XOXO,

When: Sunday, Nov. 23rd, 2008.

What: Dry aged denim by James Cured by Seun Jeans with black cotton tank by Michael Stars. This short-sleeved, striped cardigan is from Italy and I got it thrifted! I love it and want to wear it with a sexy black pencil skirt, belted. Black leather heels are by Guess.

Confession: This morning we had to get up terribly early. It was godawful, but it lead to a delicious brunch in Rockridge at Citron, an elegant little bistro with authentic French and Mediterranean dishes. I had a poinsettia (like a mimosa, but with cranberry juice instead) and the Fall pumpkin pancakes with whipped butter, Vermont maple syrup and a side of breakfast potatoes. The tomboy had a mimosa with chilaquiles verde: slow roasted pork with eggs, spicy salsa verde and guac, crema and potatoes. After we ordered, they brought us tiny beignets to tide us over! It was all so, so good. This puppy kept us company, and we sat outside of another cafe in the sun to read the SF Chronicle for a little while: