fitforafemme.com

Welcome back! It appears that Fit For A Femme was down for much of yesterday and last night, and I had no idea. Sorry, folks! I must confess I was rather vexed, but late last night the tomboy fixed it and all was well again. Phew. (There might have been a brief hissyfit, during which I refreshed my Gmail account rapidly, snapping “I PUT IN A TICKET! WHEN ARE THEY GONNA GET TO MY TICKET!?” while M reminded me it was a late Friday night and no one was working, most likely. Harumph!)

On Wednesday night, M & I decided to get dolled up and go to Flourish, a “sexy extravagant dance party” for us flannel-clad, Birkenstock-wearing dykes! No, really. It’s like the entire purpose of this event is to get all fancy and dressed up for no reason at all, and sip strawberry-topped champagne by a roaring fire and dance dance dance dance dance to the radio (or DJs). It was their last Wednesday night – they’re moving to a Friday beginning next month! – and we wanted to be sure and catch it in its mid-week glory just in case a weekend crowd alters the premise overmuch. I hope not, because we had the most amazing time and will definitely be back. Plus, the gal who runs it is lovely and once rescued me from an evil Mongolian heiress.

So, this dress: LOVE YOU, MODCLOTH! I love the flutteriness and kicky shortness and pretty, saturated palette. I love the keyhole back and how it hangs perfectly across the collarbone but refuses to fall off one shoulder or the other. I’m not at all fond of elastic waistlines (in fact, I’ve been known to recklessly tear them out with my handy seam ripper), but Sheeba the Belt remedies that effortlessly, and the spots tie the two together perfectly. Of course, I had no choice but to pair it with these shoes. MEOW.

In other news, let’s all give my beloved Grandma Jones a round of applause, because it’s her vintage necklace got me wearing gold again and she’d just get the biggest kick out of seeing me rock it at a big gay dance party if she were still alive. XOXO.

PS. Once again, these pictures were taken at 2AM. Forgive me, but know that I spared you any in which I was chowing down on the buttery, sugary tortilla I bossed M into making me when we got home!

ZOMG, THIS BELT THING! When I first saw it at modcloth.com, it kind of reminded me of a cross between a sweet, worn-in leather gun holster and the Zana Bayne leather harness Laia over at The Pop | Geometric Sleep wore so effortlessly awhile back. I will try wearing it as originally intended, but I love this idea – slinging it across one shoulder and packing the pouch with night-out essentials: ID, Besame’s darling and elegant lipstick bullets, blotting papers, cash. Period. I’m sure many femmes can agree: Sometimes not having to carry around a bag or purse or clutch or tote is freeing and happy, and not ALL dresses are made with – or are even practically made at all – pockets.

Plus, it’s inexpensive.

Plus, it’s real leather, which smells good and is super fun to wear in.

Plus, because I said so.

Also, I cannot wait to rock this scarf (also from modcloth.com) even as it warms up. It’s not quite sheer, but wafer-thin and moves nicely. I can see it dressing up a wifebeater, cutoff shorts and cowboy boots, I can see it giving a pop of color to a lightweight cotton tank dress, I can see it at Baker Beach with a 50s pinup swimsuit and some truly excellent shades. For now, it shall keep my neck warm, and prettily!

Saturday began innocently enough. We woke up, put a batch of cinnamon rolls into the oven for breakfast, watched a bit of BBC’s Pride & Prejudice and set out for the East Bay to find M some skater shoes. While I found an excellent new jacket and an adorable ski cap with hearts on it, M ran into one dead end after another with the shoes. To add insult to injury, Buffalo Exchange sent her into a homo panic and some persnickety baby dyke with no manners and a lot of attitude looked me up and down obscenely (and repeatedly) enough to solicit M’s wrath. It wasn’t pretty, but no blows were exchanged. Having had it with Oakland, we returned to SF and freshened up for our date.

Contigo Kitchen + Cava, a cozy tapas restaurant in Noe Valley with a strangely appealing lime green and firewood motif, didn’t open until 5:30PM, so we popped into a few shops and grabbed a warm-up round of pleasant enough cocktails at Bliss bar. DINNER WAS AMAZING. We had the pork belly, lamb shoulder and patatas bravas, and M & I both tried hazelnuts for the first time. They were delicious, as well as the cheese plate and prosciutto (the sheep’s milk was my favorite). It began to rain and as we wrapped up dinner, a few friends invited us out for drinks at a lesbian party at a gay club in the Castro. Much debauchery ensued, and I almost immediately stripped off the cardigan, leggings and coat when we walked in, it was that hot.

Strangely, we seemed to know everyone there. It was like one big, unending jovial reunion of sorts, and boozy texts to have even more friends join us were successful, making everything that much more epic. We woke up in relatively little pain this morning, but were USELESS in our attempt to gather coffee and other supplies, and yet managed to procure M some skater shoes. FINALLY. They are Vox (and from an awesome skate shop called Cruz on Mission) and she is pleased, so I am pleased. As promised, after lunch (desert fries, yum) she took me to see Nine at the Castro Theater. Neither of us had ever been there before, so it was extra-dreamy and romantical. (I wish I could say the same for the movie!)

The storms kept us from a spontaneous trip to the snow, but hopefully y’all have had equally exciting holiday weekends. One more day to go! Whee!

CONFESSION: Today marked a very important day in our new San Francisco life. (We just realized that we recently breezed past our six-month anniversary living here! Good heavens, that went by ultra-fast.) After a cursory search on yelp.com, we selected a barber shop for M. It’s been that long since she’s had a haircut! She adored her lady in Oakland’s Rockridge ‘hood, and was skeptical about whether or not she could be replaced without paying dues in the way of a bad cut, obnoxious stylists or an overpriced hipster salon. She’d been growing it out per my request, but it wasn’t cut in a way that was meant to be grown out, per se, so she’s starting from scratch. What sold us on this particular barber were the following reviews:

• No gabbing! No chit-chat! No small talk! If you want a hug and some hippie tea, one reviewer hissed, go somewhere else. It’s straight to business here, and that is rad.
• Plenty of gay porn to peruse while you’re waiting! Well, Christ. Do I even need to keep listing reasons?
• Not only have they been in the Castro for 20+ years, they have a 4+ star rating. Word.

So at 1PM today, M got a crazy fast, efficient, and very serious and handsome haircut in a barbershop where the classic barber pole’s stripes are made of bandannas and rainbow flags adorn the walls, and yes, I admired some gay porn while she was in the chair. It was superior to any of ours and I suppose I should have snagged one. Drats! (I’m kidding. Stealing is bad.) You’re going to have to wait to see her new ‘do, but to amuse you in the interim, here was her inspiration (ignore Jake G.’s dopey mug, please):

PS. If any tomboys have tips on how to train a part into hair, please let us know in the comments! M is also on the hunt for a new product or two for this type of style – she doesn’t think her American Crew pomade is going to cut it anymore, and I’m trying to get her to try my Jonathan Dirt Texturizing Paste, but the more options, the better. Thanks, yo.

CONFESSION: My mama’s vintage scarf again. I love it anew. I know y’all have seen this same GD LBD 84,000 times before, but not this epic wool pea coat from DKNY, all sharp and boxy. I like it a lot paired with the shoes. We had to dress up for a tea dance with friends last Saturday and I just wanted to be warm and comfortable without that meaning jeans, etc. I hope y’all are making do on the Monday back after a long and lovely holiday weekend: I’m happy to report that I scored 5 tops and 2 skirts for…let’s see, appx. $15 at the thrift store. Best picks are a Kensie sweater in a perfect shade of asparagus green ($2.50), a NWT drape-y, vintage tank in cobalt blue lamé ($1.50) and a floral print corduroy Esprit miniskirt ($4). It will be tempting to wear them all at once!

CONFESSION: Yesterday was the St. George Spirits (makers of the delicious Hangar One infused vodkas) Open House Holiday Party in Alameda, CA. The theme was Cheesy Prom and folks were out in all their awesome 80s glory. Since I was there working and wasn’t sure about how dressed up folks would get, I played it safe with this outfit, since it felt like a nice, balanced Pretty In Punk sort of getup, especially with the cheeky animal print tights. The Building A Mystery dress is from modcloth.com, as well as the super fierce Full Throttle heels.

Not so safe was the decision to wear these shoes out for the first time to an event where I knew I’d be on my feet for six hours straight, but surprisingly I had no discomfort with them at all! Phew. It was a perfect choice, and I can’t even begin to describe how gorgeous the old hangar is. All of the beautiful machinery and stacks and stacks of crates of alcohol, with an incredible view of the SF Bay and the city itself, plus all that wonderful natural light coming in through rows and rows of windows all around.

The main cocktail tastings were all named after classic 80s movies – Some Kind Of Wonderful, Pretty In Pink, Risky Business – and the plethora of appetizers being served were amazing, especially the Mexican nibbles from El Huarache Loco, chocolates from Rechiutti Confections and last but not least, the single malt sweet potato pies, which M merrily ate for breakfast this morning. (We slept in until 1PM and watched Breakfast At Tiffany’s over coffee and leftover nibbles from the party, having induced the most crippling food coma ever after an incredibly filling dinner at Emmy’s Spaghetti Shack in Bernal Heights.)

Thank heavens we only have a 2-day week this week! Hope y’all had lovely weekends. XOXO!

CONFESSION: Specifically, my tomboy. Is there anything hotter than a tomboy with a book? I think not. You lucky readers get a healthy dose of tomboy eye candy AND my must-have modcloth.com dresses of the moment, just for fun.

On Saturday, M & I were up and out the door by 10AM to head to Enoteca 100, an Italian wine tasting event with delicious nibbles, on a spectacularly lovely Fall day. There was so much goodness to sip, beautiful flower arrangements at every turn, super cute puppies and heavenly bites like ravioli stuffed with beef, pork and rabbit or juicy wild boar spread over crostini drizzled with olive oil, and so so so many wondrous cheeses, too. We tried to pace ourselves by starting with Prosecco, then to whites and reds, but after sampling about three dozen bottles, we had to call it a day!

PS. My leggings are DKNY and the lacy sweater is by Hazel, from Lounge in NYC.