If there was ever a perfect contrast between butch/femme outfits and how they can be so alike and yet so many universes apart, this is one. Same color scheme, similar textures and casualness, but that’s where it ends. This funny thing happened the other week when I, in a Twitter-broadcast hissyfit about seeing something online, wrote: “Dear brides, just a thought: Maybe don’t ask your dyke/androgynous/butch/boi/whatever friends to wear dresses to your fucking wedding. #jerk”

SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING, AM I RIGHT?!

Some poor tomboy was either asking the internet for advice or sighing over what to do about being put in that position, I think, and I blew a (protective mama bear) gasket. It’s just so inconsiderate, in a way that goes far beyond a Bridezilla’s god-given right to every little thing being her way on her special magical unicorn day. Can you imagine someone giving me a stern look and saying, “I’m going to need you to wear pants and tie to this event, Jonesey. And don’t even THINK about wearing makeup.” They’d have a big old black eye in two seconds flat.

We took these on Mother’s Day (which was fantastic). I had to change my outfit because M got the worst allergy attack during our picnic, and afterward we raced home and peeled our outfits off in case we were covered in invisible pollen and took a nap and then put on new ones so that M could treat me to a relaxing mani/pedi at my favorite little nail salon in Potrero Hill. So sweet! She kept me company and they served up some ice cold, delicious sangria!

The chambray shirt is from The Gap, the tailored shorts are vintage from 40 South Street in JP. I super duper love that store. It feels like the kind of vintage spot where if you’ve got a little coin to spend, you will certainly find something to love that’s a perfect fit anytime you stroll in, unlike other vintage boutiques which can feel a lot more hit or miss. The strappy canvas sandals with the tiniest wedge are by Tommy Hilfiger. I don’t know what it is lately, but this Spring/Summer I’ve purchased these shoes and two pretty amazing shirt dresses from old Tommy. I think what they have in common is a kind of nonchalant preppy feel, which I’ve been into this year.

Necklaces! I snuck a Culp Baubles lipstick bullet onto this edgy little chain from JewelMint, which has some pretty neat stuff from time to time, and I encourage you to check it out if you’re a jewelry hound like I am. The bronzed disc earrings were a wonderful little birthday surprise from the lovely Nadarine, a lady of exquisite taste and remarkable…skills with cava.

The creamy enamel bow bracelet seems quite old and was thrifted in JP, and the smoky blue ring I’ve got on is from the magical Pretty Penny in Oakland (an airier, slightly larger version of 40 South Street, actually).

What else is new? Well, we’re officially in escrow, our loan has been approved, we’ve got our cross country route all mapped out for early July, and we’re just keeping all of our fingers and toes crossed for the last little bits – a smooth appraisal, title transfer, things like that. The packing has begun and while there’s still seven weeks before Moving Day, we know time will fly and we’d rather get an early start!

It’s so exciting and bittersweet, too, knowing we’ll have to bid adieu to our family and friends while we set sail on this new adventure in our lives…

That’s all for now, dear readers! Hope you’re all well and gearing up for an excellent summer – can you believe it’s nearly here already? 2012, hold your horses!

XOXO,
FFAF

PS. One last one – this one’s got the San Francisco Bay in the background, with good old Oakland and Alameda off on the other end.

Spring is here, or so I’m told. It doesn’t look it from where I am – there’s still quite a chill in the air and our skies have that diffused, bright grey overcast I have always found to be the most irritating of all our Bay Area weather quirks. We’ve had bits of unseasonable warmth here and there, and were hit with a great big walloping storm last weekend, but I think my thick black tights underneath the frothy, pleated pink of this sweet dress (despite the sunshine) tell the whole story!

I’ve definitely been quietly collecting Spring essentials, though – another pleated dress in a bold, sunny yellow, two pairs of skinny jeans in bright teal and magenta, a breezy, grass-green camp shirt, wedge sandals color-blocked with a soft dove grey suede and lemon chiffon patent leather (and a clutch to match), and a few preppy cotton shirt dresses – but I’m most excited about the necklace I’ve got on here – a punchy H&M steal at $12.95 – and some new additions to my makeup drawer from MAC.

Several years ago I took my BFF to one of her initial visits to Sephora, and one of the MUA grabbed a tube of Nars lipstick, popped it on the BFF, and the effect was amazing. It was a really simple color, just a dusty, rosy pink, but it was one of those transformative shades with my friend’s complexion. It looked so beautiful! Foolishly, I tried on the color immediately, and of course it wasn’t the same.

Well, last week I wandered into the MAC pro store in the Marina (please don’t ask me what I was doing in the Marina) and the MUA helping me came at me with this horrible, frightening orange lipstick. I was instantly suspicious, but I tried it on anyway.

EGADS! Glory, thy name is Korean Candy, and the perfect companion blusher is Optimistic Orange. 

The effect of either/both with my skin tone is kind of miraculous. The lipstick is a glossy, super lightweight and wearable orange-y red, and the blush is a creamy shock of bright coral. The latter requires a very light hand, but even when the MUA painted on two big, bratty stripes over my cheekbones, it was still kind of cool. I love both shades so much it makes me want to eschew the rest of my makeup for Spring! Just a little foundation mixed in with sunscreen, tons of mascara, and my orange-y babes right here.

I’m still on the hunt for the following – let me know if you’ve seen anything good lately:

• a full skirt in a deep tan shade
• grass-green pumps or wedge sandals
• a proper leather motorcycle jacket
• a sweet, girly blouse or tank in yellow

We should chat about this outfit! I got this dress on a whim from an odd little boutique in Emeryville called Lola. There are only about a half-dozen of them in the states, by the makers of BCBG. Between the swiss dots, pretty blush color and pleated skirt, I couldn’t resist. The bow belt, necklace and faux leather jacket are all H&M. The studded boots are Trouvé, the studded clutch Matt & Nat. My watch is Citizen, and the talon ring and thorned cuff are by Made Her Think. The faux bamboo shades are vintage!

I CAN’T WAIT TO WEAR THIS DRESS BARE-LEGGED WITH A PONYTAIL AND SWEET LITTLE BALLET FLATS. HINT, HINT. 

Also, I would just like to add that these photos were taken by M at Jack London Square in Oakland. We really love Oakland and were so happy to spend a breezy, carefree day there with friends recently. So many outstanding memories from when we lived there, and it’s kind of amazing how much of our history still seems to float and crackle in its air, still very much alive – we would look at one another and the remembering was almost a physical sensation between us! How is that possible?! We don’t know, but we are sure we’ll lay down roots there again someday.

Who else is counting down the days until The Hunger Games movie?! We have tickets to the midnight showing (I may have mentioned that before) and I cannot think of anything else.

XOXO,

FFAF

Last Saturday felt lazy, even though we left our cloud (our nickname for the fluffy new king-sized Ralph Lauren blanket we bought recently) to run a handful of errands. I wasn’t feeling super well, but we needed to go out and forage for driftwood-y tree ornaments and find an HTML5 book for M, so off we went! I perked up a bit when I snagged the very last copy of this Lula magazine and after a few sips of a gingerbread latte.

Lula and The Gentlewoman are two fancy-pants magazines I really, really look forward to buying collecting, whenever new issues come out. In a way they feel like sister magazines; one girlish, whimsical and very clever, the other almost frighteningly smart, self-possessed and beautiful. Both are incredibly lovely. I’ve noticed a few similar magazines pop up in the market, but I don’t think there’s really a comparison. The thoughtfulness of them isn’t something that can be hastily replicated!

If you’re in the SF Bay Area and wonder where you can get your hot little hands on either, try Issues just off Piedmont Avenue in Oakland (they carry everything under the sun and staff are always genuinely friendly and helpful), or the incomparable Fog City News on Market in SF (they double as a candy shop that carries one of the most outstanding selections of artisan chocolates the world over as well as a grand array of old-fashioned soda pop).

Bonus tip: Tomboys might love the high-end magazine selection at F.S.C. Barber’s tiny boutique on Valencia, or the ones at Unionmade in the Castro! They make fantastic stocking stuffers, if you happen to be looking for those final little items.

My Eleven Objects collar is on its way to me, and so are my five frames to try on from Warby Parker! I’m so excited. M has a pair from them and a handful of my friends have their frames, too, so I’m giving some a test-drive in anticipation of my annual January optometry appointment. I got it into my head that I need a pair just like James Dean’s, so I narrowed it down to these bad boys and one will surely be the winner!

It’s a total departure from anything I’ve had in the past, and I hardly wear my glasses as it is, but perhaps with a cheeky new pair all that will change! It’s all part, I think, of my gradual migration into an occasional tomboy femme aesthetic. First, the Everlane t-shirts, now this…what next?!

Dress: Fire
Tights: Hue
Blazer: Asos
Calf-Hair Ankle Boots: Adrienne Vittadini

I just tossed on some of these Old Navy bracelets and my Betsey Johnson sugary skull earrings, and called it a day! That, a fishtail braid, bright pink lips and soft grey eyeshadow, for a mellow and relaxing day.

As good a way to start a new post as any, eh? Behold M and her Knob Creek flask. I have lost count of all our flasks. There are many. Some leather-bound, some traditional, some all aerodynamic, one bedazzled with skulls…I think the only addition ours needs is one vintage, slender and ladylike flask, for yours truly. I’d like it to be silver and embossed with an elegant design. Simple. 

Remember how I thought the Habitat for Humanity fiberglass incident would be the end of cargo pants for my beloved? Well, of course she ran out and got herself a new pair, and wore them tree-huntin’, naturally. She also wears them when she doesn’t feel like getting dressed. They’re like sweats or pajama pants, in her mind. Anytime she puts them on, it’s a silent act of defiance.

This saw was way more dangerous than it looks! Very sharp. Last night we met some friends of ours in Oakland at a place called Dogwood. It’s on the same block as the Fox Theater, just a lovely, dark little nook on a corner, and they specialize in cocktails and charcuterie. We loved the long, loose wooden community tables, and especially the big pheasants adorning the walls. Though the cocktail program could have used a bit of refinement, they were still pretty tasty, and their gin and bourbon selections extensive and pleasing. The grilled cheese I was fed was incredible. I daydreamed about it today! It was a fantastic night.

Here are the details:

Shirt, Calvin Klein
Puffer, Polo Ralph Lauren
Cargo Pants, Target
Boots, Mark Nason
Belt, H&M

Here are some lovey-dovey pic of the tomboy and I; she really wanted to take some by this plantbutchthingy plantbushthingy. Does anyone have any idea what it is? They’re not cattails and they’re not foxtails, I don’t think. They’re our favorite.

This morning I woke up (a bit fuzzy, I’ll admit) to the most wonderful early Christmas surprise – Eleven Objects, New York-based makers of exquisite, ultra-luxe detachable collars, picked me to win one of their special styles for Louis Exposure! It is easily the best thing I’ve ever won, I’m so honored and can’t wait to have it in my hot little hands!

Hope y’all are having delightful weekends, can you believe we’re already down to 12 days ’til Christmas? Bananas!

Love,

SBJ & M

Welcome to Roosevelt State Beach, sometimes also known as Naples Beach, just down the way from Princeton-by-the-Sea and the rather famous Mavericks. We are very fond of it due to the fact that it has a long stretch of beautiful dunes without the hikes required at Fort Funston and Devil’s Slide. On a sunny Wednesday afternoon, there was hardly another soul around. Isn’t it lovely?

We’re clearly still experiencing rather warm days even as New York City and Boston have flung themselves headlong into winter. (I’d mention Denver, but it’s always the Wild West over there, as far as weather’s concerned.) I’ve been dying to wear this H&M L.O.G.G. scarf since I bought it. It’s enormous and comprised entirely of toasty autumn shades, and it was just the thing to keep from getting chilly as the wind picked up and the waves soaked my jeans up to the knees!

We found so many perfect sand dollars and pretty shells. Not a single live crab, but there were dozens of carcasses that M fished out of the water with her bare hands. (Gross!) The heart-print blouse with a cheeky Peter Pan collar is also from H&M, but the waffle cardigan is from Hyden Yoo, a small menswear designer (who actually just last year launched a women’s line, too) based in New York. I found it at Gilt and fell in love with it, so I got it even though it’s made for the boys.

M snapped these and did a terrific job. She was very bossy, demanding that I make the scarf “as big as possible, flail it in the wind” which of course just cracked me up. Can you see the bits of hay in my hair? Well, we’d just been to the pumpkin patches where we had a little hay ride, and M tossed a handful into my ‘do. (I guess it was my fault, I’d complained that a photo we’d taken didn’t look like we were on a hay ride at all, and then you can guess what happened…)

Denim: James Jeans
Cardigan: Hyden Yoo
Top, Scarf: H&M, H&M L.O.G.G.
Cuffed Ankle Boots: Nine West
Necklace: Spoiled boutique in Oakland
Sunglasses: Ray-Ban
Earrings: House of Harlow
Gold Bracelet: Lori’s Shoes

What’s everyone got planned for the weekend? M & I are off to a romantic dinner at Elizabeth Falkner’s Orson tonight, as it’s closing its doors on their restaurant to move it into the next phase as a private events space. I wonder if the mood will be one that’s bittersweet, or business as usual!

We’re also hoping to ride some horses sometime this weekend with all this glorious weather. Giddyup!

Hope everyone has a happy and safe Halloween weekend! The petite is dressing up as a referee, and her friends are all going to be football players, which is kind of adorable (especially for thirteen-year-old girls). I am still trying to sell M on dressing up as Popeye and Olive Oyl – I think as long as I get her a fancy pipe, she’s in!

Typical day wandering around the forest drinking Blanton’s and pouncing on tree stumps. It’s a gloomy, rainy Fall day here at home, which is very lovely – the rain sounds divine – but the downside is that it means yet another canceled riding lesson. I haven’t been riding in two weeks, and it was something like 80°F then. My instructor just texted to tell me that my pony is lame, to boot.

Did y’all have a nice weekend? Ours was awesome. We had dinner at MUA in Oakland with an out-of-town friend who was interviewing for an exciting new position nearby, and the evening weather was gorgeous, the streets packed to the gills with Art Murmur-goers. The tomboy called the shots on Saturday, so we stayed in our PJs, slept in, watched movies and lazed around all the day long. Yesterday I got to call the shots, so we brunched in the Mission and soaked in the blues skies at IndieMart in Potrero Hill, petite in tow.

M found us some DIY mimosa kits (paper lunch sacks containing a bottle of OJ, a can of Sofia, and a plastic cup) and Korean tacos, and I scored some lovely finds – a vintage sweater with a tribal Pendleton feel, a nudie girl friendship bracelet, and a friendly, soft-skin making solid lotion bar.

Later that night I got all dressed up to meet a friend on the Embarcadero, where we attended a Fleet Week formal reception aboard the HMCS Ottawa at Pier 35. It was so much fun! The Snowbirds (officially known as the Canadian Forces 431 Air Demonstration Squadron) were all there and as they are basically rock stars, or the Canadian versions of our Blue Angels, it was so cool to hang out on the same awesome WWII destroyer ship as them. After my date – an officious member of the Canadian Consulate – and I got our sea legs over cocktails, we eventually scampered up and down four levels of the ship on an excellent tour, which ended in an invitation to sit down and have a beer (Canadian!) in the Ward Room. There may or may not have also been Canadian hip-hop playing.

OK, let’s discuss this outfit. I really like this dress and both times I’ve worn it so far, it’s gotten lots of compliments. People can’t believe it’s not vintage when I tell them. I feel like it’s really versatile – can be dressed up or down, worn in mild or cold weather – and features a print that’s somehow both attention-getting and soft, muted.

Dress & Pony Watch: Asos
Belt: Vintage
Shoes: Seychelles (so comfortable, you guys)
Necklaces: Culp Baubles (lipstick bullet), Mariele Ivy (bear tooth)
Bracelets: Lori’s Shoes (leather + gold cuff), H&M (braided friendship bracelet)
Ring: Crossroads
Clutch: Handmade by this smart, foxy lady

What’s it like where you are? I know it snowed in Utah, finally stormed in Austin, and that Boston saw a little Indian Summer of its own this weekend. All the weather-y things.

XOXO,

FFAF

This is my definition of summer casual. A simple cotton dress (with pockets!), some pretty flats, simple makeup and hair. I realize it’s October 1st, but you know, Indian Summer and all. Technically, these photos are from July. I said I was really behind! Trying to catch up before Autumn is here in earnest…

The dress is H&M and I adored the print. It fit into my whole “nudie girl” motif with a soft, blurred foliage of blush and washed-out nudes. Since we were headed to the movies this day, I ditched heels and went with these nude flats with all the shiny baubles from BCBG Max Azria. They’re super cushion-y and I love tap dancing around in ‘em. SPARKLY.

Piles and piles of silver.

Necklaces: “Femme” necklace by Three Sisters, dainty feather necklace from Banana Republic, and Pennyroyal keyhole pendant with a pink  chalcedony charm added. Rings: Stackable silver from the tomboy, the pink chalcedony teardrop ring is a gem that caught my eye in a Ross, of all places. It was a steal! Bracelet/Watch: The thorned cuff is by Made Her Think. The Citizen watch is from the tomboy.

This one was short and sweet! It’s been a very full week.

In gay news, Leisha Hailey and her GF got kicked off a Southwest flight and the Prop 8 trial video is to remain sealed indefinitely, but JD was featured in a devastatingly handsome spread for Vogue Homme.

In other news, I’m loving my new Dr. Jart Beauty Balm, the tomboy and I finally beat Lost Planet II on the PS3, and I reunited with my sewing machine, only to bend my only needle out of shape on the second dress for alterations. I also wrote a guest post on parenting for Autostraddle, and am stoked to cover the red carpet for them at the Dyke Central premiere in Oakland next week. This weekend we’re catching Beirut at the Fox and heading down to Santa Cruz to see our dear friends tie the knot!

How are y’all welcoming October this weekend?

HEY GIRL HEY. So, I got a haircut and some saucy highlights and I am wearing a pony-print shirt, but the real news here is that we’re taking a break from travel posts (yes, AGAIN) for some super gay PSAs. Are you ready? Get ready. Pride month may be over but that doesn’t mean we just stop being fabulous and service-y. Get your clipboards out!

Sometimes in life – especially if you are young, or fresh out of the closet, or just discovering being femme – you want to ask an older, wiser, sager person questions. Like a lesbian big sister, but with the anonymity and instant gratification of the interwebs. Enter QueerGirlQuestions, an inspiration/advice blog for queer and questioning girls. Not only does it create a safe space for the above, it hopes these thought provoking questions help readers meet the challenge to live each day to the fullest.

If you happen to be the (not necessarily) older, wiser, sager type, you can also submit answers to the questions! Something for everyone! It’s also very much worth mentioning that the lovely gal running QGQ holds a bona fide Masters in Counseling Psychology, so there!

Did you know that you can watch over 2,000 documentaries for free online at SnagFilms? I didn’t, either, until someone from the company contacted me to tell me about a film called Red Without Blue. It’s the story of a pair of identical gay twins where one transitions from male to female. I haven’t watched it yet, but it’ll definitely go into the queue.

It’s worth a poke around to see what other LGBT documentaries they’ve got up their sleeve!

I love Cuba.

I love lesbians.

I love Cuban lesbians.

HELLO, ANNA MARGARITA ALBELO!

Autostraddle said it best: “Inspired by her lifelong passion for the classic, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolf, Albelo’s semi-autobiographical film centers on the day after a filmmaker’s (Albelo, playing herself) 40th birthday, realizing she’s sacrificed her love life for her film career, decides to embark on an all-female adaptation of the classic.”

The name of the adaptation? What else, kittens?!

There are only a few days left to help them raise funds – they are so close – and who wouldn’t want to support an all lesbian, female adaptation of ‘Who’s Afraid of Virgina Woolf?’, featuring hot femmes “swishing around in beautiful clothes”. Guess what else I love? HOT FEMMES! SWISHING! BEAUTIFUL CLOTHES! I think most of you do, too. If you can, give ‘em a boost through indiegogo.com or repost this to your sexy lesbotron network to help get the word out!

FFAF is still on vacation, but wanted to make sure y’all had something to tide you over.

Welcome to my femme corner! In the femme corner, fancy lingerie hangs from fancy Anthropologie fixtures that emulate the gilded whispers of antlers hung on a wall. A glass contains exclusively Besame liners, eye and lip, and a Sharpie for notes. Antique silver trays keep all manner of hair ornaments in check, as well as a neat stack of eyeshadow quads. (M has no idea what an eyeshadow quad is, by the way.) A beautiful old letterpress tray has been lovingly repurposed to house dozens of pairs of earrings.

A butch-smelling candle (tobacco, bergamot) sits beside a pair of bold blue geometric earrings and a giant poof that distributes very finely milled sparkle to anything it touches. The femme corner is home, and the reach of it stretches out warmly in soft, purring concentric waves, the way femme is wont to do.

Remember all that fuss about a dresser? Here it is, only half-finished. The bird-shaped drawer pulls were back-ordered and just arrived yesterday, before these were taken. One’s little tail had broken off in transit so it’s got to wait even longer to be complete, but it’s come along.

I found these enormous hanging canvas cubbies at a home boutique in Oakland awhile back. The moment I laid eyes on it in the store, I knew they’d be perfect for storing my smaller purses and bags. I was right! I centered two of them above the dresser, so that the attached hooks lining the bottom of each cubby could be used for hanging necklaces in organized, eye-pleasing way. I love how it worked out, and I’ve so far managed to keep clutter off the top of the dresser by adding a small lamp, and places for my awesome BIRD ON IT accessory-holders.

The birdcage on the left holds bracelets, the tree branch in the center holds daintier necklaces and rings, and the birdbath on the right holds all my small vials and decants of perfumes. Sunglasses and the larger perfume bottles get placed on these adorable “Free To Be” embroidered cloths I found for mere dollars apiece, to protect the dresser’s surface.

Now getting dressed at home is just as lovely as an afternoon shopping in a boutique! This was a casual, sunny weekend outfit for running errands and whatnot.

Shorts, Tunic: Free People
Denim Shirt: Vintage
Pumps: Novela
Bikini: Anthropologie

Happy weekend, kittens! What has everyone got planned? We kicked off the weekend with dull old chores, but at least they’re out of the way so that we can enjoy the rest of the weekend unencumbered. I have a riding lesson tomorrow, then drinks with a group of old friends we haven’t seen for awhile. I am keeping my fingers crossed for a wholesome family outing to catch some excellent bands (The Bruises, Billy & Dolly, CORIN TUCKER) later that evening.

Sunday is, of course, Mother’s Day! We’re going to a nice brunch at a French restaurant I adore, and then we’ll head off to visit me mum. (We’re lucky she’s so close by, and so awesome.) My brother has pledged an epic BBQ feast and M is in charge of plying us with margaritas (my mom’s favorite), and we’re bringing dessert. The weather is supposed to be crummy, but it’s always nicer where she and my stepfather live, so we’ll hope for the best. My grandma will be there, too, so we’ll have three generations of motherhood to celebrate.

Sometimes I can’t believe I have a thirteen-year-old daughter, but the disbelief is quickly consumed by awe and gratitude. Awe that we’re such a dreamy little well-oiled family, even with the hiccups, and grateful for the loveliness, hilarity, and incredible strength we’re so blessed to share together.

Let’s chat about this outfit. These pants again! After our mini-heat wave, we awoke Friday morning to an overcast, dreary sky. Drats! I pulled on these Asos pants with one of my absolute FAVORITE new shirts from Pretty Penny in Oakland. It’s vintage, and I paired it with this darling black capelet from an antique shop in Auburn, CA. The hues in my glass beaded necklace were perfect, so with those, my little lion-hearted feather earrings, and these suede knotted wedges by B. Makowsky, I was all set to go.

One thing I really love about where we live is how green it is. It smells divine every single day (the same cannot be said for much of San Francisco proper, bless her heart). This woodsy little area is right beside the tennis courts, which we need to get moving on ASAP. (Sun, come back!)

I have a new motto, well, mantra really: Love, glitter and cuntiness.

May your weekends be full of all of the above!

xo,

FFAF

PS. I had a blast reading the following blog posts from this week, and so I thought I’d post them here in case you haven’t seen them yet – good stuff!

Effing Dykes Do(n’t) Drama
Get Yr Bra On at Autostraddle