fitforafemme.com

FFAF is still on vacation, but wanted to make sure y’all had something to tide you over.

Welcome to my femme corner! In the femme corner, fancy lingerie hangs from fancy Anthropologie fixtures that emulate the gilded whispers of antlers hung on a wall. A glass contains exclusively Besame liners, eye and lip, and a Sharpie for notes. Antique silver trays keep all manner of hair ornaments in check, as well as a neat stack of eyeshadow quads. (M has no idea what an eyeshadow quad is, by the way.) A beautiful old letterpress tray has been lovingly repurposed to house dozens of pairs of earrings.

A butch-smelling candle (tobacco, bergamot) sits beside a pair of bold blue geometric earrings and a giant poof that distributes very finely milled sparkle to anything it touches. The femme corner is home, and the reach of it stretches out warmly in soft, purring concentric waves, the way femme is wont to do.

Remember all that fuss about a dresser? Here it is, only half-finished. The bird-shaped drawer pulls were back-ordered and just arrived yesterday, before these were taken. One’s little tail had broken off in transit so it’s got to wait even longer to be complete, but it’s come along.

I found these enormous hanging canvas cubbies at a home boutique in Oakland awhile back. The moment I laid eyes on it in the store, I knew they’d be perfect for storing my smaller purses and bags. I was right! I centered two of them above the dresser, so that the attached hooks lining the bottom of each cubby could be used for hanging necklaces in organized, eye-pleasing way. I love how it worked out, and I’ve so far managed to keep clutter off the top of the dresser by adding a small lamp, and places for my awesome BIRD ON IT accessory-holders.

The birdcage on the left holds bracelets, the tree branch in the center holds daintier necklaces and rings, and the birdbath on the right holds all my small vials and decants of perfumes. Sunglasses and the larger perfume bottles get placed on these adorable “Free To Be” embroidered cloths I found for mere dollars apiece, to protect the dresser’s surface.

Now getting dressed at home is just as lovely as an afternoon shopping in a boutique! This was a casual, sunny weekend outfit for running errands and whatnot.

Shorts, Tunic: Free People
Denim Shirt: Vintage
Pumps: Novela
Bikini: Anthropologie

Happy weekend, kittens! What has everyone got planned? We kicked off the weekend with dull old chores, but at least they’re out of the way so that we can enjoy the rest of the weekend unencumbered. I have a riding lesson tomorrow, then drinks with a group of old friends we haven’t seen for awhile. I am keeping my fingers crossed for a wholesome family outing to catch some excellent bands (The Bruises, Billy & Dolly, CORIN TUCKER) later that evening.

Sunday is, of course, Mother’s Day! We’re going to a nice brunch at a French restaurant I adore, and then we’ll head off to visit me mum. (We’re lucky she’s so close by, and so awesome.) My brother has pledged an epic BBQ feast and M is in charge of plying us with margaritas (my mom’s favorite), and we’re bringing dessert. The weather is supposed to be crummy, but it’s always nicer where she and my stepfather live, so we’ll hope for the best. My grandma will be there, too, so we’ll have three generations of motherhood to celebrate.

Sometimes I can’t believe I have a thirteen-year-old daughter, but the disbelief is quickly consumed by awe and gratitude. Awe that we’re such a dreamy little well-oiled family, even with the hiccups, and grateful for the loveliness, hilarity, and incredible strength we’re so blessed to share together.

Let’s chat about this outfit. These pants again! After our mini-heat wave, we awoke Friday morning to an overcast, dreary sky. Drats! I pulled on these Asos pants with one of my absolute FAVORITE new shirts from Pretty Penny in Oakland. It’s vintage, and I paired it with this darling black capelet from an antique shop in Auburn, CA. The hues in my glass beaded necklace were perfect, so with those, my little lion-hearted feather earrings, and these suede knotted wedges by B. Makowsky, I was all set to go.

One thing I really love about where we live is how green it is. It smells divine every single day (the same cannot be said for much of San Francisco proper, bless her heart). This woodsy little area is right beside the tennis courts, which we need to get moving on ASAP. (Sun, come back!)

I have a new motto, well, mantra really: Love, glitter and cuntiness.

May your weekends be full of all of the above!

xo,

FFAF

PS. I had a blast reading the following blog posts from this week, and so I thought I’d post them here in case you haven’t seen them yet – good stuff!

Effing Dykes Do(n’t) Drama
Get Yr Bra On at Autostraddle

This is the arboretum in Boston where our friends were engaged and then married in the same year that we were, 2008. Isn’t it beautiful? It seemed like a perfect way to spend the late Easter Sunday afternoon, after settling into their lovely home for our stay there last weekend. The bright, colorful remnants of Easter egg hunts and all the sweet families strolling through only added to its charms, and we were lucky that so many of its gorgeous trees were in first Spring bloom!

The trees have all these excellent metal tags on them, stamped with their proper names and other pertinent information. I want a miniature version as a necklace charm. Can you believe the stunning yellow on the trees above?

Our kind friends showed us their favorite spots and we had a nice hike up to one of its peaks, Bussey Hill, where you can see snippets of the Boston skyline. We called out to the many pretty birds we saw (and heard) and even stopped to observe a strapping young cardinal for awhile. The Arnold Arboretum (of Harvard University, didn’t you know) is the oldest public arboretum in North America!

I saw a creek and set out with a brisk, ultra-femme trot to investigate. I didn’t even notice this sign I took off so fast! I can certainly imagine how lovely it must be to take an actual run in the arboretum. Sans heeled booties With proper running shoes and whatnot. We searched in vain for frogs or other crawly creatures, but found none. There’s a sort of marshy meadow with this narrow cement path cutting right through it, and it was impossible not to cross through. There we saw more exciting birds and ducks floating around in the water. We stopped here to snap some photos! That’s our silly friend in the background, with her San Francisco cap, but we decided they’re even more awesome because she’s crashing them.

They’re so lucky to have such a gorgeous green space so close to home.

We walked there in just five or ten short minutes from their house, and it was a lovely walk indeed. We had no choice but to succumb to a frenzy of real estate porn, and while M has sworn never to endure another Boston winter after suffering her college years there, we’ve both agreed to head back during the very thick of winter to see if our minds can’t be changed. Even the petite is into the idea.

This is definitely a non-traditional Easter Sunday outfit. Especially for a town as traditional as Boston. I will say this: The churches there are so obscenely beautiful that I wanted to pray to dear sweet baby Jesus in nearly every single one of them. Perhaps next time I’ll stroll through those that are open to visitors (in slightly more appropriate attire). I will also say this: Wearing a body suit OVER tights and UNDER shorts and a snug little jacket is inadvisable. Why? Because I had to practically strip down to my birthday suit every time I had to bloody take a piss. Thank heavens the other one I got from Asos has velcro action. Jeez.

Denim shorts: Free People
Fierce little jacket: Ebay
Bodysuit: Asos
Tights: Betsey Johnson
Boots: Nine West

Earrings: Isla Mujeres, Mexico
Tiered Necklace: Banana Republic
Bracelet: Lori’s Shoes (leather cuff)
Marielle Ivy Necklace and Oval Ring: Pretty Penny (Oakland)
“Lover not a Fighter” Knuckleduster Ring: Afterlife (San Francisco)

I don’t know what’s happening,  but I’ve fully intersected my existing nudie girl wardrobe with a mean 70s vibe. There are two unexpected upsides to this recent development:

1. People always compliment my outfits.
2. Shit is comfortable. Like really cozy.

It’s been a breezy, dreamy weekend! There was dinner with my best friend on Friday night at Oakland’s Boot + Shoe Service: she got me the most elegant, delicate silver necklace with a diamond infinity pendant and we shared a killer dessert – a chocolate tart with vanilla ice cream garnished with olive oil and sea salts!

I had an early horseback riding lesson Saturday morning, and the weather was beautiful despite it being miserable back at home. We escaped it by heading over the bay back to Oakland’s impervious-to-Pacific-Ocean fog sunshine Saturday with the tomboy, thrifting the irresistible wares at Pretty Penny and eating and drinking on College Avenue (Hudson’s cocktails in particular were rather good – we tried the My Dear Watson and Prufrock Dilemma). Sadly, I insisted we end the night with Atlas Shrugged and it was spectacularly awful. (Thank goodness for palate cleansing hottie Eva Green on the new Camelot series.)

TODAY I LEARNED HOW TO PROPERLY SEW.

Two other femmes and I met at Alembic for brunch in the Haight, then set out to Workshop, an incredible space that offers all manner of DIY classes for super affordable prices. Want to sew? Done. Want to make baby pies in a jar? Done. What about mixology, street art stenciling, quilting, heavy metal aerobics, becoming a cheese aficionado or basic bike maintenance? DONE AND DONE. It was our first time taking any of their classes and we learned how to sew beer cozies (koozies? titties? whatever) and cute little sock monsters, in addition to locking down the essential skills required to make any sewing machine your bitch.

Plus, they fed us beer (for the cozies) and our teacher, Carmen, was super cute, laid back but still encouraging. We’re SO going back for more, esp. since they’re planning to put new stuff like Beauty School Dropout and Make Your Own Sundress on the menu!

Trousers: Asos
Silk Camisole: Lux
Bag: Freebird by The Sak
Aviators: Ray-Ban
Bracelet: Lori’s Shoes
Rings: Pretty Penny (small), H&M (large)
Necklace: Isla Mujeres street stand

PS. The denim vest was a score from a friend’s moving sale. Howdy, Miss Kitty!

Last night after tasty cocktails and fried chicken at Pican, we saw Bright Eyes perform at the beautiful old Fox Theater in downtown Oakland. It was our first time at the venue, though it’s been open for a year or more, at least. Maybe two, who can say? For all its opulence and lavish tucks and corners, the most striking thing for me was this immense wall of ancient switches and levers in the Den, the bar and lounge inside of the Fox, some lit up, most not. M was shocked that I didn’t fuss with them, but I was so completely in awe that I instantly backed away from it, distrustful of my ability to let them be.

Conor was beautiful, the set was incredible, I could have fallen asleep in my own tears and M’s arms with Road to Joy crashing all around me forever, I really could have. I don’t know how he manages to appear more fragile and delicate and marvelous with time, but bless his sweet, awful bleeding heart.

PS. The bangs are back. I couldn’t stand it and then there’s the Boston wedding and that dress which insists, insists, on one last go of it. Damn it. When something that good wants one last go of it, what are you going to do? You’re going to sigh in defeat, snatch the closest pair of scissors, shut your wide eyes and pray to Dolly. (And then the next day you will march your homo ass to the closest, most reputable salon and make them clean up the mess you’ve made of things.) That’s that, then, isn’t it?

I am really, really happy with all of the lovely comments from my last post! It was brilliant to hear who’s from where and what’s unique and rad about where you’re from. If you haven’t seen them, pop over and weigh in or just peruse. Since then we’ve had some ridiculous, short-lived rain and then it was back to the low 60s. We’re slowly but steadily creeping into Spring. It was chilly the night of the show, so I paired some heavy duty tights with this skirt and the vintage lace and sequin blouse, and topped the whole shebang off with my new leather jacket. Honestly, it wasn’t nearly enough to keep me warm enough on Oakland’s breezy streets – I should have had a chunky scarf on with a hat or some fingerless gloves or something.

Pleated Skirt: The Gap
Blouse: Vintage
Perforated Lambskin Leather Jacket: Elie Tahari
Leather Pouch: Modcloth
Necklace: Banana Republic
Ring: H&M
Suede + Gold Bracelet: Lori’s Shoes
Boots: Nine West
Watch: Citizen
Shades: Ray Bans

If maybe you feel like watching the video for Golden Brown by The Stranglers, you may do so here.

I cannot even begin to express how pleased I was to discover that this gorgeous green corner of our garden was a trellised canopy of pink jasmine. Aside from lilac and lavender, it’s so one of my very favorites. It reminds me of Oakland, of being young and dumb and throwing myself into myself with a force I now find mildly alarming, in retrospect. If my 20s had a little animated book you flipped through to see a tiny film full of gorgeous, wretched chaos careening into the arms of unyielding perfection, the smell of pink jasmine would writhe up headily from the pages.

I’ve been known to tear a small bunch of jasmine away and toss it onto the dash of my car. The more the sun breaks it down and disseminates it through the stale of my car, the better. It beats the hell out of some scented whatever-the-heck you can buy at a gas station! In somewhat related news, all of the houseplants that were scarcely hanging on at our old SF flat are now thriving, and some are barely recognizable they’ve flourished so much.

Today was a 50-50, half grey and half silvery sunshine. Last night I shocked the entire lesbian nation of SF by appearing at a social event on a weeknight sans tomboy (13 Licks at Q Bar in the Castro, to be exact), so despite the fact that I was back in bed before 1AM, I wanted to take it easy this morning.

Jeans, a striped cotton pullover and heels seemed low-key enough, especially when pulled together with oversize, lacy pearls and a blazer. The top knot was a no-brainer, et voilà!

I’d never been to this particular bar on this particular night (though I’ve been there plenty when it was called other things and hosted other nights – lesbian nightlife is very complex, yo, especially in the context of cross-longevity and whatnot), so I chose an outfit (not pictured) which I considered to be “playing it safe.” Leather panel skirt, lacy black bra, MAJORLY lacy + sequin vintage blouse. It was raining, so I paired it with sheerish black tights and my new Aldo boots, and plunked a big floral chiffon bow over my ponytail.

I was repeatedly told that I was fancy, and my companion for the night insisted on buying me a drink on account of my necklace that says femme. (Totally unintentional side effect, that bit.) I got to meet some FB friends IRL for the first time, which is always fun and delightfully awkward and kind of nerdy, right? But so good, and definitely cute. Plus, they played Adele.

Anyway, I will wear it again sometime and post it here for you, sweet readers. Yes.

THESE VINTAGE FAUX-BAMBOO SUNGLASSES.

Aren’t they nifty? God, I’m glad we stopped in Auburn on our way up to Tahoe last weekend. I scored not only these shades, but a lambswool capelet and the above-mentioned ivory sequin + lace blouse. Someone started sending us Latina Magazine, so I was reading it on the drive and saw these amazing hoop earrings by Lauren G. Adams. I usually stay away from hoops, especially HUGE ones, but I fell so deeply and immediately in love with these that I scanned them with my smart phone RIGHT FROM THE PAGES OF THE MAGAZINE and bought them whilst sailing 80mph up HWY 5, y’all.

F I E R C E.

Jeans: James Preserved Denim
Striped Shirt: Kersh Essentials
Blazer: Banana Republic
Blue Patent Pumps: BCBG
Pearls: Spoiled! (Oakland)
Sunglasses: Vintage (Sisters, Auburn)
Bag: Co-Lab by Christopher Kon
Foxtail: Dollywood

PS. ZOMG, my Zoya “Intimate” Spring Collection arrived today! Of course, I put Gemma on right away – it’s described as a “light muted olive green with an overlay of blue and violet duochrome shimmer.” It’s extra-festive for St. Patty’s Day!

PPS. Special announcement: Fit For A Femme is super excited to be part of this rad photo show with Lesbians in SF, debuting at the one and only Lexington Club for SF Pride 2011! Here’s the flyer for a sneak peek and to learn more about the show. (Don’t forget to “Like” LISF on Facebook and check out their excellent Tumblr, and if you’re local or will be in town for Pride, mark your calendars for the show dates!) It’s going to be outstanding.

What a weekend! It began quietly at home on Friday night. The girls and I piled on the couch with the puppies at our feet, delivery Indian food strewn across the coffee table, Secretariat on the widescreen. On Saturday, I cursed my Navigator all the way through the Sunset to the Castro to fetch the one and only Bevin Branlandingham of Queer Fat Femme for a lovely brunch tea.

Hm, scratch that. The weekend started early, I suppose, since we hit the town on Thursday night to check out the long lost Flourish party at Public Works in the Mission. The bar was well-stocked with many fine options and competent bartenders, and the space is really something else. Whoever put together the slideshow to benefit GLBT Historical Society did an amazing job and the photo booth fundraiser was lots of fun. We ran into many lovelies (and a few poorly behaved others) – Bevin and Miss Dylan Ryan and LISF – but catching up proved difficult over the loud music and trying to keep out the way of The Real L Word film crew! An exciting night, and the true beginning of a weekend that couldn’t come too soon!

Back to tea! It was a drizzly, gray sort of day, and I thought this dress was perfect for the weather and Tal-y-Tara, the equestrian & tea shoppe I’ve written about here a few times before. Bevin and I were headed there for civilized conversation and to film an episode of her delightful new web series called Lesbian Tea Basket. She thought I was kidding when I told her it was part polo shop, and after I chivalrously let her out in front while I found parking nearby, I found her wandering inside in absolute awe, touching all the fine pony things and blinking her big, lush eyelashes in disbelief. We sat and ordered and talked and marveled over the little fixins for tea sandwiches, the famous scones and shortbread and cookies and, of course, sipped tea. I won’t say much more but I can assure you that you’ll know when the special FFAF episode goes up!

I returned Bevin just slightly past her curfew (she was headed into the Santa Cruz mountains for the epic, overnight Hard French Winter Ball half of queer SF was at on Saturday night), and headed home. I needed to get out of this outfit (vintage dress and coat, Max Studio pumps, Alice + Olivia for Payless clutch) and into something suitable for Strikeforce, an MMA (mixed martial arts) event happening in the South Bay. M’s colleagues scored some tickets earlier in the week and it was my first time at an official fight night. I went from the pictured outfit to cowboy boots, ratty black tights, a short leather skirt, and a Lynyrd Skynyrd t-shirt under a dark wash denim jacket. I accessorized with piles and piles of mixed metal necklaces, my foxtail swinging from my purse, and red, red lips (inspired by Miss BB).

IT WAS EXCELLENT.

Amazing. I can’t wait to go again, and M said that she wants to go to a big UFC fight for her birthday this year. They shot huge, 10-ft. tall flames and fireworks from the sides of the stage whenever the fighters were announced, and the crowd was well-behaved for being at a bloodsport event. The fights weren’t bloody, but they were good. I drank beer and ate nachos and stole M’s Cracker Jacks. In a total 180, we woke up this morning and made our way to a very sweet baby shower for some friends of ours in Oakland. We all made pages for a custom baby book, played a fun game that had nothing to do with babies, ate French toast and quiche and cake, and marveled over all the hard work they’ve done on their home renovation in the past year. The rest of the day was spent in a dreamy, post-storm haze of (local) book shopping, hanging out a cafe, finding some tights to keep my gams warm, getting M a haircut, and unwinding over a low-key Italian dinner.

In fact, I have to wrap this up because M is waiting for me on the floor in front of our fireplace, with blankets and our books and pups. I hope y’all had wonderful weekends full of your favorite things, too!

XOXO,

FFAF

PS. A friend and dear reader noted that it was terribly coy of me to talk about all these books and not say what they were, and she’s right!

Here you go:

Clockwise from top right:

Revolutionary Road, Yates
The Sirens of Titan, Vonnegut
The Wild Things, Eggers
Super Sad True Love Story, Shteyngart