Last Saturday felt lazy, even though we left our cloud (our nickname for the fluffy new king-sized Ralph Lauren blanket we bought recently) to run a handful of errands. I wasn’t feeling super well, but we needed to go out and forage for driftwood-y tree ornaments and find an HTML5 book for M, so off we went! I perked up a bit when I snagged the very last copy of this Lula magazine and after a few sips of a gingerbread latte.

Lula and The Gentlewoman are two fancy-pants magazines I really, really look forward to buying collecting, whenever new issues come out. In a way they feel like sister magazines; one girlish, whimsical and very clever, the other almost frighteningly smart, self-possessed and beautiful. Both are incredibly lovely. I’ve noticed a few similar magazines pop up in the market, but I don’t think there’s really a comparison. The thoughtfulness of them isn’t something that can be hastily replicated!

If you’re in the SF Bay Area and wonder where you can get your hot little hands on either, try Issues just off Piedmont Avenue in Oakland (they carry everything under the sun and staff are always genuinely friendly and helpful), or the incomparable Fog City News on Market in SF (they double as a candy shop that carries one of the most outstanding selections of artisan chocolates the world over as well as a grand array of old-fashioned soda pop).

Bonus tip: Tomboys might love the high-end magazine selection at F.S.C. Barber’s tiny boutique on Valencia, or the ones at Unionmade in the Castro! They make fantastic stocking stuffers, if you happen to be looking for those final little items.

My Eleven Objects collar is on its way to me, and so are my five frames to try on from Warby Parker! I’m so excited. M has a pair from them and a handful of my friends have their frames, too, so I’m giving some a test-drive in anticipation of my annual January optometry appointment. I got it into my head that I need a pair just like James Dean’s, so I narrowed it down to these bad boys and one will surely be the winner!

It’s a total departure from anything I’ve had in the past, and I hardly wear my glasses as it is, but perhaps with a cheeky new pair all that will change! It’s all part, I think, of my gradual migration into an occasional tomboy femme aesthetic. First, the Everlane t-shirts, now this…what next?!

Dress: Fire
Tights: Hue
Blazer: Asos
Calf-Hair Ankle Boots: Adrienne Vittadini

I just tossed on some of these Old Navy bracelets and my Betsey Johnson sugary skull earrings, and called it a day! That, a fishtail braid, bright pink lips and soft grey eyeshadow, for a mellow and relaxing day.

Last year when we went to get our tree, the lot was still damp from rain but it was warm enough out for bare legs! It’s kind of astonishing that we ended up with almost exactly the same size tree this year, albeit through a series of humorous and unintended follies. We decided to drive out to Half Moon Bay, where certain farms hand you a big old saw and let you pick your own to cut down. It was a spectacularly clear and sunny day, but with enough wintry bite to remind you what season it is.

I got the idea into my head because growing up it was always great fun when my family drove out to Half Moon Bay to chop down and carry home our very own special Christmas tree. In my mind, I was so small and the number and size of the trees so very vast that I would run around and get lost with my siblings. The trees were a deep, bold green and it all smelled like heaven. There was hot cider and everyone was happy, rosy-cheeked and smiling. Delightful! The most wholesome Normal Norman Rockwell-like memory of my happy childhood, really, and as it were it’s a big fat S H A M.

What is that?! Do you see that?! That’s not Christmas tree material! That’s a bush thing butchered to merely resemble a vague Christmas tree shape. There were so many of these, and tricksy M kept trying to sell me on ‘em. Outrageous! They didn’t even smell Christmas-y, and I was taking one home over my dead, hacked-to-pieces-with-a-rusty-saw body. I don’t know if it’s been a bad few years for trees (yes, I hear myself, please shut up) or we arrived too late in the season, but something’s changed in the past 20+ years, clearly.

The actual Douglas and Noble Firs still standing were too sad for our purposes. (I mean, look at that poor guy up there, center left.) They’d make fine Charlie Brown Christmas trees, or even perfectly acceptable 4′-5′ trees for smaller homes. I’m not disparaging them.

We wandered acres and acres, holding out hope for “the one” so that we could make our own perfect lumberjack lesbian family holiday moment. We’d pass other families circling like despondent vultures, kids in tow, M expressing solidarity with the exasperated husbands declaring that “the next one we find, we’re cutting down!” and me rolling my eyes good-naturedly with the women, and then we’d all fight over who got to carry the saw.

It was the saddest thing ever. Eventually we all became delirious, at several points ganged up on one another in different configurations, but mostly there was a great deal of laughter (and a flask of bourbon, I ain’t gonna lie). I fed it to M while we hiked another mile to check out one last patch of land, and that’s where we decided to plop down on a hillside to ready ourselves to admit defeat.

THAT’S WHEN WE SAW THEM.

Across the street, at another farm, dozens of absolutely perfect, lush, full, enormous trees. Sure, someone had already chopped them down, but we’d been out looking for hours and hours and damn hours, and no longer gave a shit. God, they were perfect. After a quick and very absurd family discussion, we got the hell out of there and went across the street, and found our special tree. (I had a brief dalliance with a Grand Fir, but we settled on a Noble. I’m a Noble gal at heart, as was my dear Aunt Judith.) The end! 

OUTFIT STUFF! I call these my “femme cargo pants” even though they are not quite that at all. They’re from H&M and have neat panels on the inner leg, like riding pants, with zippers all over the place. Pockets, ankles. Little baby snaps on the bum pockets. The faux fur vest is H&M as well, and the ruffled silk blouse is Lauren by Ralph Lauren. The pony belt is M’s but I steal it a lot. Boots are Nine West, the studded envelope clutch is Matt & Nat.

I’m wearing my stormy vintage ring from Pretty Penny, along with a Mariele Ivy necklace and lots of bracelets from Old Navy, actually. The earrings were a gift from M, lovely antique gold hoops with spangly bits of abalone.

Don’t worry, M brought her lumberjack hotness and she’s up next, along with before/after pics of the actual tree.

Hope everyone is having a lovely December out there,

FFAF

This week seems to be quite the clusterfuck for many of us. I won’t even get into it. I couldn’t be more glad that M took the day off tomorrow, and we’re off to Half Moon Bay again. It’s still super hot out here, so I’m not sure what I’ll wear, but I’m sure it’ll be farm-worthy and there will be more epic petting zoo photos. (Perhaps we’ll continue the tradition with a video, too!)

I’m so proud of the fact that I am now – at my age, good grief! – capable of doing a fishtail braid. It’s something that’s haunted me since the 5th grade, when I first tried, and only with repeated YouTube tutorials was I able to finally accomplish it. This has been the year of conquering braids; earlier this year my hair got long enough to do some milkmaid braids, the BFF taught me how to French braid a few months ago, and now this. YES.

So many accessories! Meet my gorgeous new calf hair wedge booties. I’m completely in love with them. They’re from Adrienne Vittadini and I can’t find them in this awesome leopard print online, but apparently they sell them in black suede and a rich, honeyed leather, too. For $139. Mine are SUPERIOR, and were only $80 at Marshall’s. Whomp whomp! I realize I sound like a commercial, but BARGAIN SHOPPING, FTW!

You probably recognize my leathery leaves necklace from Mariele Ivy and my horse-y watch from Asos, and a gold pyramid bracelet from Sears, I think. Sears. Ever since Friday Night Lights came into my life, I’ve been down with Sears.

This is just a casual little outfit I threw together for I don’t know what. Errands? Hanging out? It was probably a nice and cool day from last week and I was just overeager to LAYER already.

Pants: Asos
Metallic Shirt: Calvin Klein
Denim Jacket: Old Navy
Clutch: Hobo International
Earrings: Asos

Last but not least, showing off my awesome DIY manicure – a little two-tone action achieved (and quickly) with Zoya nail polish, Seche Vite for quick drying, and some scotch tape! I promised M that I’d do candy corn nails for Halloween, so I’ll make sure that I get those on film, too.

Hot tip: Please go OnDemand if you have it and watch Melancholia. Or wait for it to hit theatres and then report back to me. We watched it last night and I have SO MANY FEELINGS.

PS. I got this dress and can’t wait to wear it. I’m gonna boss M to take me dancing, or maybe I’ll wear it to see Wild Flag. Ooh!

WELCOME TO 2011, KITTENS!

We have arrived, at last. My dearest darlings, on this most brand spanking new day all the year round, here’s to wonder and good fortune newfound. I hope you all had a grand old New Year’s Eve, full of deliciously naughty and wonderful things, with a sloppy wet kiss on top (for good measure). So many of you, so it seems, have had a spectacularly shit 2010, and I do hope things take a turn for the best this year.

Here are some of my favorite inspirations, because why not share what makes you happy?

Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Here’s to the roses and lilies in bloom.
You in my arms and I in your room.
A door that is locked, a key that is lost, a bird and a bottle, and a bed badly tossed, and a night that is 50 years long.

- SF’s very own Herb Caen

2009 wasn’t the easiest for us, we faced a lot of challenges and endured staggering loss. I’m not gloating when I say that 2010 was pretty tremendous. We needed it to be. We certainly earned it.

We had a steady stream of lovely houseguests, and walked countless miles on SF’s streets. I read Anna Karenina. I met the man behind Bulleit bourbon. I took an incredibly empowering self-defense course. We took fencing together on a whim, which was equally hot and challenging. M took me to paradise Isla Mujeres for my 30th birthday. Her company went public. FFAF was a top contender for a Lezzy Award in the Culture / Entertainment category, and saw collaborations with Tulle, Modcloth, and Autostraddle. I became a member of the Femme Collective and helped to organize, then attended and presented at the Femme Conference. I started a terrific new job. The petite left home for the first time on a service learning trip to Nicaragua. We road tripped to Portland. We stayed at a 4-star resort in Carlsbad. We spent a long, rainy, perfect weekend in a tiny cabin in the wine country, along the Russian River. We went to a “no pants” party, I went to two Stars and Rufus Wainwright shows each, I got bangs, I grew them out, I got them again. I, master scorner of music festivals, went to Hardly Strictly Bluegrass and the Treasure Island Music Festival. We discovered that we’re too old for SF Pride (but not for the Dyke March). I fell in love with the World Cup, managed to find a nugget of pleasure in baseball (but only just), Miette, the Creme Brulee Guy and El Porteno’s empanadas. We moved. Again. And we’re so, so happy.

We’ve vowed to hit the new punching bag (20,000 for M; 10,000 for me), explore more small batch whiskeys, not get groped by TSA, and to throw ourselves into a secret project for 2011. I want to invest more in my studio for FFAF, read a book per week on average, visit the shooting range a few times per year, and ride horses as often as I can afford to.

What are you looking forward to in 2011?

Fur: Vintage
Blouse: Kensie
Vest: Jenny Han
Skirt: Old Navy
Tights: The Gap
Shoes: Elie Tahari
Bag: Freebird by The Sak

Here are some cheeky pics from our New Year’s kiss last night!

XOXO,

FFAF

Goodness grief, has it been a whole week? It has. What can I say, y’all, it’s the holidays. Last Friday we took advantage of the chance to unwind before all of the prep before a casual fight party soiree – the first gathering we’ve hosted at our new place. In a sentimental twist, that unwinding included our watching Toy Story 3 while a fire snapped and crackled in the background, which left me bawling inconsolably and in a baking frenzy all night long. (So much more than I can say for Room In Rome, which was bullocks. You have been warned!)

Fortunately, our guests thoroughly enjoyed the home-baked goodies the next day. Unfortunately, I might have traumatized the petite. As the movie ended and Bonnie stood waving on those front steps, I clung to my not-so-wee one and wailed, “Take me to college with you! You don’t have to go very far, do you!? YOU CAN LIVE WITH US!!!” while M shook her head in disbelief and handed me tissues.

I am STILL tearing up just thinking about it. It’s too much.

The party went swimmingly! We all had a blast, and it turned into a late night slumber party that rolled into a delicious brunch and Glee reruns the next morning. The week sped past – we wrapped a ton of presents on Monday night, I ran errands Tuesday night, last night M had to work late and tonight we took my brother and his girlfriend out for a belated birthday at Restaurant Ducroix, an unassuming little traditional French place downtown with great food. We all had the coq au vin save the renegade tomboy, who ordered the seared scallops with risotto.

Tomorrow night, we’re going on a romantic date. We’re exhausted!

This was my work-to-dinner outfit. A heavy corduroy miniskirt from Old Navy, a soft, warm sweater from H&M and thick tights and my two-tone Novela pumps. I added some glitz with my old Laundry by Shelli Segal ring and this big, chunky necklace from Banana Republic.

The real glamour lies in my new nail polish – Bring on the Bling from the new Burlesque line from OPI. I got it from a colleague in our Secret Santa gift exchange! I’ve had ultra glittery nail polishes before, but this must be the holy grail because it looked incredible under the soft lights at dinnertime and walking along the twinkling, damp streets of SF at night. I can’t stop staring at it. It seemed like the longer I had it on, the more mesmerizing it became. (This has nothing to do with the respective number of glasses of champagne consumed over time, I swan.)

So, uh, G E T C H U S O M E.

Love and miss,

FFAF

PS. Soon, soon you will have holiday party photos. I won’t let y’all down!

PPS. I know my pony throw pillow is too epic for words, and we’ll discuss it, but not yet.

Meet my fabulous new chair. From its slender little brown legs to the perfect shade of dusty rose velvet and the officious nailhead detail on the arms, it was love at first sight. I put it in the study, so that I can curl up in it with the pups at my feet, a fire lit in the fireplace against the wall opposite, with a good book. On a rainy day? With a cup of Earl Grey? It’s heaven on earth. I tossed one of my new Liberty of London throw pillows into it to make it a bit more playful and modern.

(OMG, I sound like an HGTV promo. Heaven help me.)

Believe it or not, these were taken just two weeks ago, and our space has made a ton of progress since. We’re having a small group of folks over for UFC 124 on Saturday night (apropos of nothing at all we’re serving up a snack parade tour of Asia, which is THRILLING, let me tell you) and there’s still so much to do! Before M got home from work last night, I was in the walk-in closet, hanging up all my freshly spray-painted rows of hooks for my bags and purses. I think in the next week or so, there will be lots more photos of the new place, because we’ll have tied up the loose ends on a bunch of projects. Tonight was all hammer and nails and framed photo clusters in the stairwell.

LIKE YOU ARE EVEN HERE FOR THE HOME IMPROVEMENT, THOUGH.

I know why you’re here. You want to know where I got my fancy feathers. Well, I’ll tell you. H&M, $3 and some change. BOOYAH. They have so much nudie girl stuff right now, it’s not even funny. I bought nearly half a dozen different hair accessories in the same shade of color.

For something a bit more festive, tear a small bunch of glittery leaves from a faux branch of holly and secure with a few bobby pins!

Shoes: Novela (by way of ebay)
Corduroy Skirt: Old Navy
Blazer: Free People
Pony Pin: Little Otsu

ANNOUNCEMENTS! Are y’all wondering what to put under the tree for that special someone? Look no further.

HO, HO, HHMMMMM. What?!

Autostraddle’s Ultimate Holiday Gift Guide 2010: What Your Girlfriend Or Otherwise-Inclined Pal Wants?!?!

True story. Go check it out, because it’s an excellent resource guide to getting the lesbo in your life an awesome present for the holidays (or any occasion, really – date night, anyone?). Plus, I wrote up a little section on some nifty gift ideas. Ooh.

I promised Undercover Punk that I’d post the recipe for my spiced pear and ginger concoction from Thanksgiving, so here goes. You want the truth? The truth is I had no idea what the fuck I was going to serve at Thanksgiving Dinner, which in theory is a rotten, horrible way to go about things, but I also know that I’m at my best when it’s off the cuff, so I simply purchased a spattering of supplies and let inspiration guide me.

SKINNY’S SPICED PEAR & GINGER PUNCH

1/2 bottle of white wine (not-too-sweet Riesling or Pinot Grigio ought to do it)
12 oz. or so of pear nectar
a couple of ounces of Domaine de Canton French Ginger Liqueur w/ VSOP Cognac
a couple of ounces of Hendrick’s gin
few dashes pumpkin spice (typically nutmeg, cinnamon, cloves, ginger)
fresh-squeezed lemon juice (1-2 large lemons)
muddled basil

(to be con’t)

Directions: Get a big ass pitcher. Fill that bitch with hella ice. Pour the wine and pear nectar over the ice. Put the basil and lemon juice into a shaker. Muddle. Add ice, Domaine de Canton, Hendrick’s. Shake. Pour into pitcher. Either shake the spice into the pitcher and mix, or sprinkle atop each drink and serve (or a wee bit of both for added fanciness). Booyah. You’re welcome. Of course, as I did, you’ll have to tinker with it to get it just right, but I’m not Martha bloody Stewart, so godspeed and good luck!

(Disclaimer: I’ve had appx. .75 bottles of bubbly myself tonight, so if I awaken to find I’ve left something out, I’ll be sure to note it.)

This outfit! Purple-y. Soothing. It happened.

Shoes: ebay
Skirt: Old Navy
Blouse, Tote Bag: Banana Republic

I’m still figuring out the damn FFAF studio in the garage, the lighting is clearly more…intensive than I anticipated, but I was too impatient to wait to post this and I hope future attempts are ever so slightly more polished. In the meantime this was fun and new and experimental, so I hope you like it!

More announcements! Do you know why? Because in SF, all the lesbians are doing all of the things all of the time. Do make an effort and be present and fabulous for some of them! Word on the street is that Flourish is coming back sooner than y’all can shake a stick at, and I for one can’t wait to go back to getting gussied up for a fancy dyke party.

See you there, maybe?!

Love,
FFAF