fitforafemme.com

When: Saturday, August 2nd, 2008.

What: Gorgeous maxi handkerchief dress from a folksy boutique in Old San Juan, with Sheeba belt, vintage. California Girl flip-flops. My new Marc sunglasses.

Blue two-piece by Becca. Peacock earrings from McCalou’s.

Strapless black minidress by Maria Bianca Nero. Linea Paolo peep-toe pumps with sangria patent trim and ponyhair leopard print. Sheeba the belt. Earrings from my mother and little clutch from M’s sister.

Confession: I bought two of those dresses, and the other one is the prettiest sangria print, which M insisted upon. I was so scared that the shop would be closed when we went back to the shop, but it was open and I found a gorgeous lacquered wood bangle as well as a beautiful, stretchy cerulean blue scarf, with silver glinting throughout. I bought three scarves total whilst in Puerto Rico! In all that insane tropical heat!

I only wore this ridiculously short dress because it was our night to explore all the lesbian or gay bars we’d researched so thoroughly. One delicious and extremely fancy dinner in Hato Rey at La Casona and two cab rides later (the slightly racist waiter advised us not to walk through the Dominican ‘hood to get to Roosevelt Avenue, whatever), there we were.

There were no gay bars. OK, there was one, but it was so packed there was zero chance of us getting inside. We decided to walk to the next one – it was only two blocks away, after all! TWO LONG ASS BLOCKS. It was very dark, the streets mostly abandoned, and I started to freak out a little. “Jonesey, you run all around much meaner streets in SF without a care in the world, what’s gotten into you,” M asked. I don’t know, to be honest. I just felt…not safe.

We passed a huge meat market and kept walking through the middle of nowhere. I told M that if I got yanked into an alley and murdered or worse, it would be her fault for not protecting me, so she quickly hailed us a cab and we went back to Old San Juan, where I mumbled sheepish apologies for being such a big fat wuss.

Anyway, my point is that I only dressed this way because I thought we’d be nuzzled safely in the bosom of Le Gay! Not that I believe a short skirt invites sexual assault, because that’s bullshit, but there are certain things I’m only comfortable doing around queers, such as this outfit or naughty pillow fights or lip-syncing to George Michael.

Best part? Walking around in Old San Juan, I was somehow NOT the one traipsing about with the highest hemline! ZOMG, PR girls are fierce, y’all. Seriously.

When (Day): Friday, August 1st, 2008.

What: Elie Tahari buttery yellow cotton sundress with matching slip, vintage belt and Kensie sandals. The random polka bag was a freebie from Eve (very strange Australian magazine) that I planned to only wear to the beach, but discovered it would make a STELLAR shopping bag for all the goodies we planned to score in Old San Juan.

Confession: God, we woke up so bloody late from Thursday night’s awesomeness, not to mention the aforementioned 47 hours without sleep, etc. At one point around 9:30am M roused me, mumbling something about how we had to get up, a rainforest, blah-blah, and I told her please to STFU or I’d have to pitch her off the GD balcony, that I loved her dearly and really, it was perfectly OK-corral to sleep in, cowboy. So, yeah. We showered around 1pm and decided to head into Old San Juan for a very late breakfast at the wonderful La Bombonera, go shopping and to sightsee at the cemetery and forts and whatnot. Fun! We also ate about five meals that day. Mm.

When (Night): Friday, August 1st, 2008.

What: BCBG Max Azria printed dress with flutter sleeves. Patent tricolor sandals by Enzo Angiolini. Clutch by the fabulous Jenna, of course, and pretty abalone earrings from a boutique in Old San Juan.

Confession: I adore these shoes. Back in the beginning of Spring, when I was hunting for bright, fun kicks to bring me out of a drab winter and saw these in a bouquet of pretty colors, I was tempted but passed them up in favor of blues, greens and pink snakeskin. I was totally stoked to find them on the cheap in Old San Juan, of all places! The bargains, I can haz them. Plus, they’re bloody purple! I love purple, and just bought a pretty rhinestone barrette to go with them today.

Just for fun, here I am being a lazyface kitten in bed the next morning with my new Marc by Marc Jacobs shades:

They make me feel like a SUPERSTAR. You can get your own at 80s Purple. OK. Now I have to pull myself away from the very fantastical opening ceremonies to get into the shower. We’re going dancing!

First things first. Despite my best efforts NOT to procrastinate, things were all chaotic and rushed as the last hours before my flight whizzed by. I apologize for so rudely leaving the US proper and heading off to my lovely tropical paradise resort vacation in San Juan, Puerto Rico without first saying goodbye. The whole glorious trip was spent sans cell or laptop or other electronic device!

Alas, I missed it here at Fit For A Femme, and though this post is just a sadistic little teaser of all the Puerto Rican fabulousness to come, I hope it’ll do for now!

When: Wednesday, August 6th, 2008.

What: Black cotton H&M dress with pockets, brown leather and suede peep-toe oxfords by Elie Tahari, assorted bangles from boutiques in Old San Juan, thrift stores and Glow on Lakeshore, beaded glass necklace in lovely blacks, coppers and browns from Spoiled! on Broadway. M’s bao straw hat with grosgrain trim from Old San Juan by Scala. Sunny glow courtesy of the gorgeous Caribbean sunshine.

Confession: Do stay tuned. We took nearly 600 photos! I had a bare minimum of three wardrobe changes per day. There’s enough material to keep us all busy here for the entire month! I warn you now that it was a supertropicalhumidhotrainymess out there the entire time (in the most delicious way) and you’ll have to forgive my sweaty face, but some of my get-ups were too good not to share…