Meet one of Brooklyn’s finest femmes, kittens! Here’s the delightful Bevin Branlandingham of FemmeCast and Queer Fat Femme. She and I ran a little workshop at the Femme2010: No Restrictions conference last Friday morning. We met for the first time in June at her incredible Re/Dress & Size Queen event in Oakland, after becoming fast internet friends through our mutual love of fashion, all things femme, and involvement on our respective committees with the Femme Collective earlier this year.

Also, her tomboy friends have the cutest puppies, don’t you think?

Of course, her outfit rules. This is one LBD that refuses to be outdone, and the little tart hair clip was quite the cherry on top of her ensemble. Here’s her really impressive bio, since it says it way better than I could:

Bevin Branlandingham is the Host and Producer of FemmeCast: The Queer Fat Femme Podcast Guide to Life. She is a flamboyant femmecee, writer, drag king, burlesque and comedy performer. She is Co-Head Madam of the Femme Family, the New York Chapter of the Femme Mafia, on the steering committee for the Fat and Queer conference and the media committee for the Femme Conference. In 2008 Bevin received a Commendation from the Mayor of Jersey City for her work with the LGBT community. Her writing has been published in numerous periodicals and she has performed throughout North America. Her mission is to make the world a safe place for people to love themselves, regardless of their marginalizations. Her website (including blog, calendar of events and workshops) is found at QueerFatFemme.Com.

She also blogs at Butch-Femme.com and The Femme’s Guide to Absolutely Everything and performs throughout North America.

This has to be one of my most favorite collages ever. Adorable puppy? Check. Pretty, multi-talented femmes? Check. Dildo? Check. Fancy hair ornaments? Check. DONE AND DONE.

I need Bevin to chime in on her outfit particulars, but here are mine:

Dress: Calvin Klein
Shoes: MaxStudio
Bag: Betsey Johnson
Earrings: Vintage
Necklace: Culp Baubles
Feathered Hair Clip: Buffalo Exchange

Waiting for Rufus Wainwright. After the closing remarks at the conference, M fetched me from the hotel and we set out for Napa. It couldn’t have been a more perfect evening. The temperature was perfect, the light falling softly at sundown was perfect, dinner was outstanding and Rufus Wainwright was absolutely wonderful, as always. At one point during the show, M whispered to me “How is he even a real person? His albums sound so good, but then you hear him live up there and he’s somehow much, much better than all that!” and I nodded with my tear-streaked face.

He made corny Napa jokes and told a few stories between songs, and he played La Complainte de la butte and Memphis Skyline (two of my favorites). Zebulon undid me completely. His sister brought the petite onstage and they all sang together (well, the petite cooed), and it was really lovely. I cannot wait until he’s back in November with the SF Symphony for Five Shakespeare Sonnets.

I am going to go every single day of the 3-day series, come hell or high water.

Sometimes we take time from our busy, fast-paced city life to ease into the slow lane, where the neighbors are quiet and polite (or best of all, nonexistent), the food takes its sweet time coming to the table, and everything is lovely. Yes, even if it’s storming out. Most recently, it took us to the Russian River Valley in the wine country. Specifically, to Guerneville. More specifically, to Korbel Champagne Cellars for a tour of the grounds and gardens, and a champagne tasting.  Don’t we look snug? That’s because the rain stopped long enough for us to enjoy the visit.

Look at all that stuff! We did not realize how old Korbel was, nor about the trio of brothers from Bohemia, with their Bohemian brides, and all the scandal and intrigue and Wasp-y newsletters, etc. It’s a pretty interesting history, and while Korbel isn’t edging out cava or champagne from France anytime soon, their organic Brut and Blanc de Noir reserve aren’t half bad! They certainly came in handy back at our rustic cabin, pairing nicely with the fancy cheese plates from Boon’s.

Sometimes we eat. Sometimes we eat A LOT:

I’m getting ahead of myself! The gardens! They were really very pretty, with some varieties of roses over 200 years old or something incredulous like that. Take a little stroll with us, won’t you? Try not to pick up random things on the ground and eat them, like the tomboy does. It worries me.

Sometimes we cuddle and sometimes the tomboy just looks too bloody adorable and NOM-worthy for her own good, don’t you think? I’m surprised I don’t need a new stick every week just to beat all the ladies (and the odd gay) off, honestly. I guess the choke hold down there helps. I guess this is a good place to tell you where she got the scratchy wool coat at, it was the military surplus store in San Jose, which has rock bottom prices. The jeans are Sevens and the shoes are the same Marc Ecko ones you’ve seen before.

Y’all? We expected sunshine and LOTS of it this weekend (this being Mother’s Day weekend, which is where all these photos are from), but we had a single day of light and then the storm came. My Oleg Cassini weekender bag and I were beside ourselves, considering the fact that I’d packed 84,000 sundresses and little else. Good thing I was able to assemble this backup outfit for inclement weather.

PANTS: Silence + Noise (I think officially these are “jeggings”, which might make my page views plummet wildly. I apologize.)
COTTON LEOPARD PRINT TANK IN NUDE: Elie Tahari
CARDIGAN: Kersh Essentials (Costco, basically.)
SHOES: Madden Girl
BAG: Emilie M.
NECKLACE: Betsey Johnson

This concludes your getaway weekend with Skinny + M! We hope y’all have fantastical Memorial Day weekend plans. Tonight is our Friday, so we have a lovely four-day weekend planned in which there will be Ethiopian food, a great deal of bloodshed and hopefully heart at UFC 114, the world premiere of Beautiful Child, a musical set to the staggeringly gorgeous music of Rufus Wainwright (there will be OUTFITS), homemade strawberry sangria, and who knows what else?! Perhaps there will even be some sun.

I love this song by Rufus Wainwright. It’s beautiful. It takes a few listens to full bloom, so to speak. My favorite line is I have suffered shipwreck against your dark brown eyes. So gorgeous. So true.

Here at the homestead we are eagerly awaiting a lovely guest, who arrives today and stays with us for a few days. Of course, I decided it would be a good time to clean my room (my side of the room, rather) and will somebody please explain to me why I can’t get through a single square foot without discovering 84,000 abandoned projects?

Exhibit A: At last I found my seam ripper and attacked a few tentative repurposing prospects that had accumulated into a dusty pile in the corner (all but one went straight into the trash). In addition to the abandoned projects, there’s a kind of freaky domino effect that overtakes me and I’ll also decide it’s a fine time to begin a new project.

Exhibit B: For instance, the drill battery has been charging because WHERE WILL I HANG ALL OF MY FUR STOLES? (the surface of the dresser cannot be properly cleared until there is a place to put them, obviously). I remembered the awesome panel of hooks that M brought home from Target months ago and thought, if I just move my scarves from where they are hanging (the awesome silver antler hooks) to the new one (which is why the drill is charging), I can relocate my fur stoles and collars to the old one. Genius! It’s perfect! It’s ridiculous. I am ridiculous, but I suppose I get brownie points for enthusiasm and innovation.

Exhibit C: On the upside, I somehow posted and sold three pieces of furniture doing nothing but taking up room and collecting dust on Craigslist in under four hours. That’s kind of a record. Good riddance to stuff I don’t need and have no use for!

On that note, I must return to the above-mentioned tasks. It’s exciting! I’m still basking in the glow of the co-tomboy post from yesterday, though. So many new readers! So much love via tweets! Dreamy, dreamy, dreamy.

CONFESSION: Gah! Too busy, kittens, for a proper confession! So much excitement and busyness. Not only does FFAF have an exciting new partnership with a delicious new partner, I am party-planning for work and up to my ears in laundry. The latter is not so exciting, unless you consider that it contains FIVE NEW DRESSES I got earlier this week whilst thrifting, all for between $3-$8 apiece, all fabulous. Two remind me of French 1940s dresses, one is a ruffled black velvet number handmade of AWESOME, the Mad Men-esque sheath dress I keep teasing y’all about and one other that I can’t quite remember…hm. Basically, I’m assuring you that I’ll make up for this wan week very shortly.

Enjoy this entry and my soothing hallway in meantime, and have a fantastic weekend!

PS. Oh, and this song, which I am currently 84,000% obsessed with (as some of you may have noticed):

PPS. I got the name of this subject from a random book title generator, because I couldn’t think of one. Cheeky!

Confession: Can’t think to confess. Too shocked about American Idol outcome. Too blown away by how awesome everything but the conclusion was. (Cyndi Lauper + Alison gave me goosebumps!) I’m not saying this HuffPo article says it all, but it’s certainly a relevant consideration. I did, however, work myself into a feverish, fantastical froth of excitement over potential Team Glambert duets – Dave Gahan? Robert Smith? Morrissey? RUFUS WAINWRIGHT? – of course none of them would be caught dead on AI, but still. A girl can dream, and she can dream big. BIGGER THAN JESUS, EVEN, BITCHES. So here, take it. The same dress you saw yesterday, with one of your favorite tops on me. I’ve nothing more to give.

FFAF SPECIAL ALERT: Don’t say I didn’t warn you! The tomboy and I are packing up and heading…um, East! That’s it, East. East to Yosemite for a glorious 4-day camping trip full of horseshoe games, exploration of several lakes and nearby creeks, lounging poolside with a 2′ tall stack of books, and chocolate fondue. That’s right. FONDUE. Ask anybody. Even when I camp, I am fancy.

The downside? 4 FFAF-less days.
The upside? Some rugged FFAF posts when we get back!

Scent: L’Artisan Parfumeur Mechant Loup, by Bertrand Duchaufour. Lord have mercy, this is masculine but soft. I suppose I mean that it isn’t abrasive despite notes of pepper, star anise, licorice, sandalwood, honey, hazelnut, myrrh, tonka bean and cedar, and truth be told I am somewhat reminded of the fine scotch whiskys we’ve been trying this year. (It seems I am on a sort of subconscious myrrh kick, also.) Smooth but aggressive. Their description is kind of adorable – “Full of forest scents with the heart of hazelnut! Mechant Loup is a woody perfume, which will soften and sweeten the most incorrigible charmer inside every man.” This is absolutely a big, warm, manly scent for Fall or Winter. I’d love it on M, I think, but not so much on myself. I’ll have to update this later once it’s fully dried down! (And maybe after I’ve convinced M to give it a shot.)

Confession: Late last night, M noticed lights flashing outside and the next thing I knew, she was motioning frantically for me to come over and take a look and shouting about long poles and WHAT THE HELL and ZOMG there was some sort of covert alien transportation thing going on. It’s all wrapped up nice and tight for you in this most excellent video with an Of Montreal song (Sink The Seine). It was some sort of wide load container thing, very shiny and new, and all these men were running to and fro with the police blocking the street and talking to people over the megaphone and proceeding very, very slowly. Totally bizarre. M ran to get her binoculars. What WAS in the massive box? Who can say?

Scent: Forgive me, I’ve been so negligent in the fragrance department! I won’t pretend I’ve been

too busy – I have been busy, but also just sort of moving from Winter to Spring wrapped in a cloud of contentment. To tell the truth I was once so opposed to

that word, equating it with

tedium, mediocrity and perhaps worst of all, a sort of falsehood. Perhaps I am lucky in that it now means something else entirely, something epitomizing pleasure, satiety and a dreamy and genuine peace of mind.

Which brings me to today’s new fragrance: Ligea La Sirena from the Italian island of Capri’s Carthusia. This is so well named, “bearing the name of one of the three Mermaids who tried in vain to bewitch Ulysses, Ligea is a feminine, sensual nectar, surprising and full of passion, which combines the warm powdery scent of wild white rose with the fresh, soft aroma of mandarins.” It’s just…enchanting, really lovely. The citrus isn’t at all overwhelming, perfectly balanced with sweetness and the right amount of opoponax, or sweet myrrh – something earthy and almost salty to anchor it all down. I love it. I find it comforting!

Let’s take a closer look at the Carthusia logo, shall we? (It’s not a stretch to say that if I were into whimsical and playful tattoos, I would absolutely get this. It’s cheeky and awesome!)

PS. I’ve missed you all!

PPS. Bullocks! I left out the earrings. Delightful little art deco studs from Silver Crane Sterling – I love their shiny little things.