fitforafemme.com

HELLO THERE. How the hell are you? It’s Memorial Day, are you enjoying yourselves? We are. It’s been a merry four-day weekend, and we’ve managed to perfect the balance between being lazy and resting without missing this wondrous sun gracing the rain-soaked city, running to and fro. If you’d asked me if I thought it would get hot enough to wear these shorts this weekend, I probably would have popped you one. M’s been dying to wear hers for at least a month.

These photos are from the little walkabout we took BEFORE our massive, late sunny afternoon Pimm’s Cups.

I don’t know about y’all, but M’s outfit here makes me think of tag football, grass stains and making out at dusk on a park bench. We both took advantage of the RVCA Memorial Day sale, and M scored this new shirt. Mine is also new and the lightest, softest silk-cotton blend. It’s, like, the perfect shirt for dancing around braless with no pants and a whiskey coke in your hand, on the hottest summer nights.

We found this spot in a narrow alley behind a mortuary near our place. I don’t understand this shelf or why it’s placed here, sandwiched between garages and trash bins of all things, but there it was, little Lady of Guadalupe and all. Perhaps people put candles on it and pray or something. How nice! While I pondered all of this very seriously, M snapped photos. Obviously. My favorite thing of all on our walk is the sidewalk graffiti a bit further down. They’re so lovely! Sometimes I think we’ve got the most delightful graffiti of all here, underfoot and ever-changing.

You didn’t think I’d mention it and not post the video, did you?

TOMBOY CONFESSION: M has said that her confession would only wax poetic about ham or sweet potato pie or my deliciously festive sparkling Cosmopolitan cocktails from Christmas, so I guess I’ll say a few words in her stead. We are both VERY excited about the gun rack my brother and his girlfriend so thoughtfully gave us for Christmas. She keeps fussing with her hair, y’all, saying it’s already gotten too long, despite the fact that it’s only been three weeks since she had it cut. Tomboys!

A bit about this blazer: M found it without much ado at our favorite neighborhood thrift store, for five gay bucks and in pristine condition. Turns out it’s from a little place in San Francisco that’s been in business for over 35 years, The Hound Shop. The embroidered label on the inside says “Tailored for the Montgomery Street Man” and has a great hound in the center – it’s really fantastic. She did a dapper job pairing it with this vintage striped, flat-bottom tie I got her two Christmases ago, I think.

FEMME CONFESSION: I really, really, really love this dress! Another epic thrift store find – it must have been somewhere between $3-$5, tops. From the fluttery little sleeves to the deep pinks and reds to the cut and wearability – it’s almost perfect. I have to try it in some va-va-voom heels and decide whether or not the hem needs to come up a couple of inches. I tossed the beret on as an afterthought on our way out of the door and it really made the buttoned-up look (though the weather was so agreeable, I didn’t need the coat at all).

Long story short, it was a very brilliant Christmas – cozy and raucous and abundant in the best ways – with a very full house, wonderful surprises, lots of incredible food and loved ones. My mother had several silly games with awesome prizes for us to play, including a 2-page, multiple choice Christmas trivia quiz in red and green ink that had us all in stitches (M had the lowest score of everyone, even the foreigners – it was hilarious). Nearly everyone teared up when I opened my mom’s gift to me – several sets of my beloved Grandma’s gorgeous vintage jewelry – I was astonished! Amazed and so, so touched.

Some festive Christmas pics below:

When: Saturday, Jan. 31st, 2009.

Femme What: Black velvet frock trimmed with embroidered ribbon, Free People. White tank by Mimi & Coco. Boots from Lamica, black ribbon headband from Target and skull-and-pearls necklace by Betsey Johnson.

Femme Scent: Vera Wang’s Princess, with notes as follows: Water Lily, Lady Apple, Mandarin Meringue, Golden Apricot Skin, Ripe Pink Guava, Tahitian Flower, Wild Tuberose, Dark Chocolate, Pink Frosting Accord, Precious Amber, Forbidden Woods, Royal Musk Captive, Chiffon Vanilla. I like this for a sweet and girly casual day scent that’s not too cloying or heavy. It’s nice and light, with enough going on to keep it from being boring and really good staying power.

Femme Confession: It appears, quite tragically, that I am not a fan of scotch. ‘Tis a pity! M brought a rather nice bottle home last night, along with heart-shaped chocolates from local chocolatiers Joseph Schmidt and wee tiles of solid milk and dark chocolate from Charles Chocolates! Perhaps it’s just the Islay variety – something in the peatiness, maybe – but not only did the taste not sit well with me, just the whiff off the cork made me feel boozy right away! Anyway, here’s an invitation to come visit us and help M drink this very lovely bottle of Lagavulin 16-Year Scotch:

Tomboy What: RVCA jeans, white guayabera bought in Old San Juan, PR. Mahogany Italian boots that are totally falling apart bought I have no idea where, vintage Yves Saint Laurent sangria tie with sea horsies bought at the bombass flea market.

Tomboy Confession: I woke up craving chilaquiles in green sauce even though I mostly only ever eat the kind in red sauce, so we went to Citron for brunch. They came with pulled pork and a very spicy salsa. I feel great about my breakfast, and am looking forward to the samosa parade later, and sliders tomorrow. The skinny one is not wearing underwear. There is scotch in the liquor cabinet. This sports weekend is going spectacularly!

When: TGIFriday, Jan. 9th, 2008.

Femme What: Sheer floral t-shirt by Shameless, black jumper by French Toast, vintage silk polka dot scarf, rand-o tights and necklace-cum-belt from unmemorable origin. Black leather and wool sweater by BCBG Max Azria and boots by Lamica.

Femme Scent: Caron’s Coup de Fouet – Eau De Cologne Poivrée. It’s described as being a unisex fragrance, a “refreshing fragrance on a base of rose and carnation, accentuated with a hint of pepper.”

The intensity is overwhelming at first application. It’s spicy, almost tangy and thick with cloves, even swerving for a few moments dangerously close to potpourri. All this underneath a cloud of something medicinal. It does dry down into something much softer, and the floral gradually undulates, but all so stubbornly. The staying power is good. M said that it smells like a “scent blocker” – like it’s hiding something else, or used to cover up something. The translation is “crack the whip,” which I rather like, but this merely makes me feel perplexed, but in a sort of rabid, obsessive way.

Maybe they meant it that way. Caron, cracking the whip at all the femmes since 1957! Word.

Femme Confession: I’m seriously having some critical and urgent hair dysmorphia, y’all. M is sick of me whining about it. She’s given up trying to reassure me that my ends look just fine and simply rolls her eyes at me and tells me that I have mental problems and might want to seek help. My friends coo reassurances. I, however, continue to jump into pools of harsh light like a spastic frog or insect, grabbing a lock of hair and staring unblinking and with disgust at my split ends. It’s fucking untenable. I recently gave a lovely FFAF reader a list of salons in our area without so much as skipping a heartbeat and my BFF is absolutely thrilled with her new hair, which I helped to advise yesterday. I, however, remain homeless, salon-wise.

YOU CAN’T HELP SOMEONE WHO WON’T HELP THEMSELVES. CRY.

Tomboy What: Brixton ‘Hooligan’ plaid hat (which everyone loves and tells me they love it, including total strangers in the elevator), awesome almost-worn-in RVCA jeans, brownish-green hoodie from Express for Men, blue T-shirt from the GAP and brown boots by Aldo.

Tomboy Scent: John Varvatos Vintage cologne. Do you want to smell fancy and ruggedly handsome, like a polo player or a fighter jet pilot? This is the scent for you! Not too clean, not too dirty, definitely handsome, but a quiet handsome, not the chatty, attention-whorey handsome! Top notes and description as follows: “Brisk Moroccan coastal plants spiked with piquant fruits, cinnamon tree leaves, pepper, lush florals, smooth woods, and Turkish tobacco make this scent truly unforgettable.”

Tomboy Confession: I sneaked out for a fancy hot dog for lunch today, even though it takes me forever to get there and back, because they are THAT good! It pisses me off that they are so far, and that they only accept cash and that it’s in the middle of a stupid mall, BUT I STILL GO THERE! Today, I find that prices have gone up some 25% for a hot dog, but you know what? I will probably be going back sooner or later. Sucker!

When: Saturday, Jan. 3rd, 2008.

Tomboy What: RVCA jeans (x-mas gift!), black t-shirt from the Gap, gray wool coat from Zara for Men, with custom-made, DIY champagne bottle cap buttons. Black belt-with-holes from H&M, sunglasses by Spy Optic bought in Old San Juan (sniff) and black Kenneth Cole boots.

Tomboy Scent: That dandy one Skinny suggested I try. It smells like guys who wear bad rayon shirts, drive shitty cars and secretly spy on their girlfriends by following them to and from work. It smells like a clingy, insecure person. Repulsive.

Tomboy Confession: I really do slather almost all of my food in lime or lemon juice, as mentioned in the previous post (in the comments, natch - FFAF). We had a senior citizen’s dinner at 4pm tonight at Regalito. I ordered the Regalito chicken and guess what? It already comes slathered in lime!! I feel supported in my madness.

Femme What: Black dress by Laundry by Shelli Segal, cotton cardigan in a nice oatmeal color by Kersh Essentials, peacock tights from modcloth.com. Black leather bag from Betsey Johnson, yellow rainbow scarf from Peru by way of a surf ‘n skate shop in Bodega Bay and brown leather and suede lace-up peep-toe oxfords by Elie Tahari.

Femme Confession: Despite a bit of galivanting in SF today, I’m still fighting the last wee traces of a cold off. A cough here, sniffle there…the lingering just obnoxious enough to keep me from feeling 100% again. It was such a crispy, clear and beautiful day. We made a very pleasant trip to Mr. & Madame S in SOMA, followed by a ruined attempt to eat at The Slanted Door in the Ferry Building (only their lounge was open) but ended up having a delicious meal at Regalito, followed by a drink (I tried a Jameson & ginger for the first time – amazing!) and several awesome rounds of Spot The Difference Erotic Babes with M at The Lex, SF’s only 24-7 lesbian bar.

I HAD NO IDEA THAT YOU COULD PLAY SPOT THE DIFFERENCE ONLINE, ZOMFG & PLS. TO EXCUSE ME: