fitforafemme.com

We’re back, we’re back! It’s true, we nearly made an offer on a Boston home before hopping onto our flight back home, but here we are. Home sweet home.

I’ve been putting more effort into building a wardrobe of staples that can be thrown on in a worry-free hurry in the mornings. It’s tempting to always wear dresses – they always look like you’ve put more thought into getting dressed, and it isn’t hard to add a belt or necklace and a blazer to create a perfect look – but it feels more sophisticated to have the freedom to assemble a smart outfit no matter what the pieces are.

Since I woke up jet lagged and fell a bit behind schedule (thank heavens we showered the night before), I couldn’t spend a long time in my closet and I wanted to be comfortable. When I spied this ultra-soft striped top on its hanger, I reached for a black pencil skirt and plain black pumps, and added the braided belt for some extra texture and color. A chic little ensemble in two short minutes! I don’t actually wear my Evo on my belt like that, I just wanted to show off how awesomely matched it was to my belt.

See the sweet silver infinity necklace below? That was the precious 31st birthday gift from my very best friend – we’ve known one another since the 7th grade!

We managed to do a spot of shopping in old Beantown. We were just around the corner from luxe Newbury Street (where I got my first ever gel mani/pedi – AMAZING), and our friends insisted on a trip to Cambridge’s very impressive thrifting wonderland, The Garment District. There just wasn’t enough time to sample the boutiques and secondhand gems in Jamaica Plain while we were there, but all the more reason for a return trip. We’re hoping for a long weekend in the Fall, just in time for prime leaf peeping season!

I’ll be sure to let you know when I post on the items we got during our travels…

Skirt: Gap
Shirt: Kersh Essentials
Belt: Thrifted
Pumps: Charles David
Loverbird Bag: H&M
Lips: Smashbox Double Exposure Lip & Cheek Color in Double-Time under a touch of Lancome Juicy Tubes in Raspberry Ice!

I don’t know what’s happening,  but I’ve fully intersected my existing nudie girl wardrobe with a mean 70s vibe. There are two unexpected upsides to this recent development:

1. People always compliment my outfits.
2. Shit is comfortable. Like really cozy.

It’s been a breezy, dreamy weekend! There was dinner with my best friend on Friday night at Oakland’s Boot + Shoe Service: she got me the most elegant, delicate silver necklace with a diamond infinity pendant and we shared a killer dessert – a chocolate tart with vanilla ice cream garnished with olive oil and sea salts!

I had an early horseback riding lesson Saturday morning, and the weather was beautiful despite it being miserable back at home. We escaped it by heading over the bay back to Oakland’s impervious-to-Pacific-Ocean fog sunshine Saturday with the tomboy, thrifting the irresistible wares at Pretty Penny and eating and drinking on College Avenue (Hudson’s cocktails in particular were rather good – we tried the My Dear Watson and Prufrock Dilemma). Sadly, I insisted we end the night with Atlas Shrugged and it was spectacularly awful. (Thank goodness for palate cleansing hottie Eva Green on the new Camelot series.)

TODAY I LEARNED HOW TO PROPERLY SEW.

Two other femmes and I met at Alembic for brunch in the Haight, then set out to Workshop, an incredible space that offers all manner of DIY classes for super affordable prices. Want to sew? Done. Want to make baby pies in a jar? Done. What about mixology, street art stenciling, quilting, heavy metal aerobics, becoming a cheese aficionado or basic bike maintenance? DONE AND DONE. It was our first time taking any of their classes and we learned how to sew beer cozies (koozies? titties? whatever) and cute little sock monsters, in addition to locking down the essential skills required to make any sewing machine your bitch.

Plus, they fed us beer (for the cozies) and our teacher, Carmen, was super cute, laid back but still encouraging. We’re SO going back for more, esp. since they’re planning to put new stuff like Beauty School Dropout and Make Your Own Sundress on the menu!

Trousers: Asos
Silk Camisole: Lux
Bag: Freebird by The Sak
Aviators: Ray-Ban
Bracelet: Lori’s Shoes
Rings: Pretty Penny (small), H&M (large)
Necklace: Isla Mujeres street stand

PS. The denim vest was a score from a friend’s moving sale. Howdy, Miss Kitty!

The sun has been trying its hardest to cut through the nip in the air since morning, and I’ve been fighting the pups for patches of it in the living room. These are my new booties! They are so comfortable and I can’t stop stomping around in them.

Truth be told this was all inspired by the skirt, the fantastically dated length of it and the charming little pocket watch print, which I thrifted then promptly laundered yesterday, and also by reading Wild Girls by Diana Souhami, which makes normally sane lesbians want to “wear lots of eye makeup and smoke opium and write terrible poetry, and then go horseback riding in Paris” because even having copious sex with innumerable lesbians in various countries gets tedious sometimes, it’s true.

I’d put it down to finish The Help and in my (very short-lived) excitation over Super Sad True Love Story a week or so ago, but I still get to savor the last half. Whee! We’ve just met Romaine. She is damaged goods. Bewitching, irresistible, heartbreakingly gorgeous damaged goods. The book is full of filthy rich, wicked, wicked lesbians in Paris at the turn of the 20th century. They fall in and out of infatuation fast enough to give you whiplash, perform Sapphic dance rituals together in gardens (I should hope naked, though the book clearly pictures them clothed), make love on bear rugs and get into lavish affairs and have grandiose continental breakups. It was given to me as a gift and I can already tell this book is going to be a lifelong bad influence reserved for very special occasions.

Clearly, I recommend it.

Here’s another thing I’m obsessed with right now, and it’s just fine if you laugh:

I will continue to drive around in the sweet California sunshine with my windows rolled down, singing this real loud with all my little heart. My only defense is that it’s a cover of a Rascal Flatts song (at least I think that’s a decent defense, somebody better come on and back me up here!).

I will come back tomorrow to show you the special Valentine’s Day edition boudoir-style shots, and how M and I almost got a divorce last night over a highly architectural black fleece Asos dress I procured recently. She even turned the dogs against me, y’all. Bird tried to run away. Stay tuned!

Thrifted skirt, ancient black tank, Etsy corset-belt-suspender thing, Aldo boots, vintage fur and rings, Banana Republic necklaces. Nail polish is Zoya’s Elodie! XO!

How has everyone been doing with their resolutions so far? I’m not a big believer in the New Year being some blessed time to dramatically change your life, no more so than on a rainy day in April or a summer’s day in June. But with the end of a year I suppose one can step back, get a bit of perspective, and have a clearer idea of what the coming year or years should look like.

So far, I’ve finished one book (Portia de Rossi’s Unbearable Lightness) and am halfway through another (Neil Gaiman’s Neverwhere). I’ve checked out the horses for adoption on Petfinder, perused the ads for horses for sale on Craigslist, and looked at leasing options, all thanks to a friend who happens to be something of an ex-horsewoman and has me looking at gorgeous Selle Francais and Dutch Warmbloods I cannot afford (as they are so fancy and can run you $80,000). We’ve dipped into our bottles of Evan Williams Single Barrel and Maker’s 46 bourbon. Not a bad start for six days in.

Perhaps your resolutions involve your beauty routines! I’m always trying to simplify mine, but I thought it would be fun to show you what’s in my medicine cabinet and on my vanity! (Maybe at the end of the year I can compare to see if it’s changed very much, too.)

Face
01. Cleanser: Lush Bûche De Noël
02. Toner/lotion: Lush Eau Roma Water
03. Cream/moisturizer: Lush Skin Drink + Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repair
04. Facial mask: Lush Catastrophe Cosmetic
05. Exfoliator: Rotation between a few favorites: Dermalogica Microfoliant, Origins Modern Friction + Brighter By Nature (twice weekly)
06. Make-up remover: Origins Clean Energy Gentle Cleansing Oil

Body
07. Shower gels/soaps: Lush Flying Fox
08. Body lotions/creams: Aveeno, Cetaphil
09. Anticellulite/firming treatment: W H U T, am I supposed to be doing this?
10. Body exfoliator: Homemade Sugar Scrub
11. Hand cream: Origins Smoothing Souffle
12. Lip balm or lip treatment: Pure Vitamin E Lip Balm or Lush’s It Started With A Kiss Tinted Lip Balm
13. Perfume: Changes Daily!

Hair
14. Shampoo/conditioner: Lush Assortment, Kirkland Signature Moisture Shampoo + Conditioner (surprisingly vegan, paraben and gluten free), Aveda Clove Shampoo
15a. Mask or other treatments: Ken Paves Healthy Hair Boost Up Color Drops, Bumble & Bumble Creme de Coco Masque & homemade masks
15b. Styling Products: Frederic Fekkai Beachy Waves, Bumble & Bumble Surf Spray, some awesome stuff I got in El Mexico, Frederic Fekkai Glossing Cream, TRESemme Heat Tamer Protective Spray
15c. Styling Tools: BaByliss Pro Porcelain Ceramic Straightening Iron (1.5″), Conair You Curl Curling Wand, a blow dryer, a really old school spiral curling iron

Make-up
16. Foundation: Perricone Active Tinted Moisturizer in Tint 02
17. Powder: MAC Mineralize SPF 15 Foundation (Loose) in Light Medium , Palladio Herbal Dual Wet Dry Foundation in Cypress Beige
18a. Blush (Powder, Highlight & Bronzer): MAC Mineralize, Cargo, Besame (too many to name just a few shades), Stila
18b. Blush (Stain): Lush’s It Started With A Kiss Tinted Lip Balm, Sephora Lush Flush Lip & Cheek Stain, Tarte Ring It In Cheek Stain Set
19. Mascara: MAC Zoom Lash, L’Oreal Voluminous Million Lashes, Clinique High Impact Mascara
20. Lipstick/lipgloss: MAC, Besame, Clinique (too many to name just a few shades)
21. Eyeshadow: MAC, Cargo, Stila, Laura Mercier, Besame
22. Eyeliner: MAC Shadesticks, MAC Greasepaints, Laura Mercier, Besame Classic Masterliner Pencils

Thrifted tunic, Silence + Noise skinnies, Gap scarf, Dolce Vita for Target boots, Freebird by the Sak crossbody bag, earrings are a gift from the tomboy for Christmas (slippery like a snake!), Pier One wooden bangle bracelet, Banana Republic cocktail ring, awesome foam axe with rabbit fur trim from Paxton Gate – Curiosities for Kids.

(From Saturday, January 8th) Today was awful. I woke up slightly hungover from my femme date at the Original Plumbing Fashion Issue party last night, we’re out of everything one would use to make a deliciously greasy breakfast, and then we sat down with coffee and saw the news. My head throbbed with grief and shock and the kind of despondence that senseless, wasted death comes with without fail. It was impossible to divorce politics and the impact that something like this will have on our country from the fact that real people are still sitting in real rooms with their broken hearts, obliterated from the loss of their loved ones even as I type this.

I looked at my very grounded and mature daughter, watched her watching the news with us, peering over my shoulder to look at the Sarah Palin map of the United States that I’d been screaming at just a few minutes ago, thinking of the social atrocities she’s seen in her short life (9/11 in preschool, sitting on shoulders at useless anti-war protests in kindergarten, wars that carried her through grade school and junior high, the ups and downs and rallies and phone banking and fighting for marriage equality, the daily routine horrors of misogyny), her bright future humming with the beginnings of certainty despite all of it, and I suppose out of self-preservation a calm, quiet numbness washed over me. I went about the rest of the day, running errands, eating dinner with my family, hosting my book club for the night.

I can’t think about the ambitious little nine-year-old girl who died today because I can’t, I just can’t, as a mother. I called my mother today, and she was happier than usual to hear from me; my little brother’s been in boot camp for the Marines for a week now, the news can’t have helped any. We didn’t talk about Congresswoman Giffords, the little girl, or the five others who died because we can’t, just can’t, as mother and daughter. We talked instead about his call home this week, the menu for our Super Bowl party in February, an upcoming ski trip.

In seventeen years, when my petite is thirty years old and calls me out of the blue on an overcast Saturday afternoon, I hope this country is a better place to live than it is right now. It has to be.

E. C. Star dress. Franco Sarto wingtip pumps. Richard Chai for Target coat. Thrifted mini crossbody. Tegan & Sara scarf. I repeat, Tegan & Sara scarf. Red Velvet lipstick from Besame Cosmetics.

Today was shite. It didn’t start out that way; I crawled out of bed, wiggled into my favorite Peggy Olson dress and surprisingly sturdy, comfortable tights by Nina. M zipped me up and chattered away in bed whilst checking the stock market from her new phone, and I set off for work. A sweet colleague fetched coffees for us both when I arrived. At lunchtime, I met a friend in a toasty pub near our offices and we gossiped over grilled cheese and French dip sandwiches, and I ducked into Godiva afterward to carry out Day Two of Mission Find Outstanding Toffee. (Day One consisted of a trip to Fog City News, a lovely place where I picked up Richard H. Donnelly chocolates and the newest Gentlewoman. The latter is nearly perfect, has Inez van Lamsweerde and Chloé on the cover, the former not so much.)

It was all downhill from there. Godiva’s toffee was a joke. You’d do better to pick up a pink canister of Almond Roca! I ran into an infuriating issue at work. The old landlord still hasn’t sent us our deposit. (She still has a week or so to get it to us by CA law, but we can tell we’re probably going to have to fight her for it.)

After work, when I drove all the way out to the thrift store I’d left my phone at on Saturday, the workers were still there but the door was locked. They’d been closed for 15 minutes. My attempts to knock at the door and mime my desire to fetch my phone and only my phone went ignored, waved away; I am bad at charades, it seems they thought me either illiterate or simply stubborn (which I am, that is not the point): “WE’RE CLOSED,” the closest worker mouthed.

I remembered my fancy new phone. I googled the thrift shop. I jabbed my finger at the link to the phone number. It rang. I narrowed my eyes at the worker, standing just twelve feet away from me still at the register, focused intently on a stack of paper, watched her twitch and finally, after three rings, pick up the phone. P H E W. I helpfully volunteered a description of my phone, frantically making eye contact and forcing smiles, and suggested that it would only take her a few seconds to slide it through the mail slot or something so that I could get it back. “Yes, ma’am, we have your phone right here. It’s here. You need to come back when we’re open.”

My toffee was bad. My job vexed me. I am owed money. My data is held hostage at a thrift shop with rude workers. Bullocks.

Then, after a long and strangely soothing trip to the grocery store (maybe it had to do with huffing a fresh fistful of basil), I went home. It was warm inside. My girls greeted me; M helped me pull all the bags in from the car. Our handsome new striped armchairs had arrived, along with a great big mystery box. We were having piping hot lasagna with a loaf of garlic bread for dinner. Comfort food. I opened the mystery box. A sweet note from my friend Ali, who has recently launched a gourmet cookie company with her mom, and – heaven help us – piles and piles of her delicious creations. (More on that – and our first ever giveaway! – on Black Friday, so be sure to check back and enter to win.)

M made me giggle during this FFAF shoot out in the biting cold of our yard, she shined a flashlight on me and I fought to keep a candle lit in the wind. (“It’s supposed to be creepy,” I explained.) The moon was huge and shone eerily through the branches, which swooned and tottered around it like baby ghosts. (“It was orange and SUPER creepy before,” M explained.)

And just like that my day was right side up again. Hurrah!

Enjoy these spectacularly politically incorrect Thanksgiving pin-ups and have a dreamy, delicious holiday, everyone! We’re very much looking forward to my 90-year-old grandma’s brandy-soaked San Francisco Thanksgiving, with collard greens and pumpkin cheesecake, pop culture pumpkin pies and puppies. My mother’s given us just two assignments: an appetizer and a dazzling, festive cocktail for all to imbibe. I’m plotting something herbaceous, probably Italian, with spiced pear and sparkles. We’ll see how it goes!

This little thrifted dress has seen erratically different looks! It’s been paired with a severe studded blazer, my cropped denim jacket and a vintage braided belt in nudes, pinks and blues, and a navy vest with a big dose of retro. I guess this look is a bit earthier than the others, done but kind of dirty with the tousled waves and stony accessories.

Dress, thrifted
Belt + Bag, vintage
Shoes, Madden Girl
Leather Eagle Cuff, Dollywood
Sunglasses, Kenneth Cole
Jewelry, handmade pieces and assorted trinkets amassed during travels (which are my favorite pieces to collect)

I’d like to introduce you to a brand new blog! Closet Riots is a new body-positive fashion blog/tumblr project from stylist / performer / DJ / promoter, all-around femme fatale Jenna Riot, right out of San Francisco. (Look out, world. We’re taking over.) I already love it and I really think you will, too, so check it out. Add it to your readers, blog rolls and tweet about it to your heart’s content. I’ve been meaning to take the girl out for a drink for weeks and I can feel it in my bones that it will happen soon. If you’re lucky, maybe we’ll document the occasion!

If you’re feeling her steez and think you might enjoy a little more Riot in your life, check out Bad Reputation at the Lex this month! Don’t get any funny feelings, though, folks – she’s definitely taken.

Sunbathing on a delightful Saturday, we watched little boys chasing around birds like wee tyrants while the little girls did the smart thing and frolicked in the fountains nearby. We could have dozed here forever.

Femme: H&M dress, Franco Sarto patent leather wingtip pumps, Alice + Olivia for Payless clutch, Elle sunglasses.

Tomboy: Seven for All Mankind jeans, Ben Sherman belt, Penguin tie, Macbeth shoes.

Petite: I LOVE her flats. I bought them for her and wish we could share ‘em. They’re a brand called Me Too. She’s wearing them with Zara jeans she inherited from me. She’s also inherited some old pairs of Blue Cult, H&M and Miss Me denim from me – lucky petite!

Look at all of that vivid, glorious blue! I’m beat after spending a happy morning and afternoon helping a dear friend get settled in her new Oakland flat. It’s gorgeous. Flooded with warm sunlight through windows on nearly every wall of every room (which her two adorable cats love), tray ceilings with crown molding, hardwood floors with pretty inlays and those charming old touches all over, and French doors separating the huge master bedroom from the even larger living room. Just lovely. I AM SO JEALOUS, but incredibly happy for them (her beau arrives in two short weeks, she’s a carpenter and can play a mean banjo).

I was also mere blocks from our old loft today, and I felt pangs, y’all. Pangs of yesterday. Pangs of concrete-sandwiched-between-multiple-layers-of-drywall “party walls.” Pangs of walk-in closets and his ‘n her sinks and well-lit showers and a DISHWASHER and stacked washer/dryer sets, le sigh. Of course, living in San Francisco has its perks and advantages over Oakland, but bang for your buck where square footage and amenities are concerned ain’t one of them.

Laundry by Shelli Segal pants, Chicks On Speed for H&M racerback tank, thrifted vest, vintage shoes and Gucci scarf.

Another day, another outfit. This was my “laundry day” outfit. Far more interesting is that Karen Elson was pretty incredible last night at Cafe Du Nord. Her voice is much prettier onstage than it is on her solo album, which already sounds lovely, but still. Live her voice is haunting, taut, taunting. She chatters on between songs and apologizes profusely for her incessant need to “explain everything,” and then she half-giggles, half-chuckles in an awkward, nerdy way I really loved.

It goes without saying that she looked stunning, but real. I didn’t expect real, approachable. She was wearing a very long peach dress that fit her poorly in some places, but it kind of only made it that much more fetching, and there she was, oscillating between an ethereal, singing (and guitar-playing) angel and a bashful geek! The crowd favorite seemed to be The Truth Is in the Dirt, but I found myself singing along to The Birds They Circle the most today.

I’d write more, my friends, but it’s my turn to make cocktails and I cannot think up ways to use this unopened bottle of Lillet Blanc, can you? Let me know in the comments.

PS. Yes, Jen, my jeggings had faux pockets. In some circles jeggings aren’t considered the real deal unless they have the faux pockets. I’m just torn between shame and comfort on the subject.

PPS. Here’s where you’ll find us this weekend. This time, baby, I’ll be Bieber-proof! (I know, you hate me, you can’t get it out of your head. Oop! Kylie! Sorry about that.)