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Confession: We’ve had the weirdest weather – cold and gloomy, warm and sunny, rain out of absolutely nowhere, cold, ninja-esque thunderstorm, cold and gloomy, sunshine – and that’s just the past few days! It could be worse! It could be Denver, where all of the above plus one wind- and snowstorm can occur all within a few hours. Still. I need a little consistency. The chill is why I threw on tights and a cardigan over my sunny floral spring dress. (Shout out to Sublime Femme – I hope that explains yesterday’s blog post with the boots and the velvet, an outfit technically from last week.) The sparkly shoes are just because I felt like it.

I don’t know why I look so serious, but I feel like the 2nd photo should have one of those snarky vintage captions on it, something like, “Nothing could make her remember the prize-winning fruit salad recipe” or “I’ve forgotten what one does in the kitchen.”

Scent: My fourth Guerlain review! This time the objet d’art is Guerlain Aqua Allegoria Pamplelune. The Sephora description reads: “Pamplelune is an immersion into the icy tingle of an effervescent citrus potion, blended with the warm embrace of sun-soaked patchouli and sensual vanilla. Like a day in Provence, its combination of coolness and warmth is both energetic and sophisticated.”

A friend of mine brought it over last week, as it is her newest love. On her, it comes screaming out of the bottle (the gloriously ornate full-sized bee bottle) sharp and zingy and terribly masculine. The staying power is excellent. On me, however, it eases rather quickly into something soft and pretty. A slight edge hinting of citrus – the grapefruit – and a little bit of that play-doh smell in the drydown, and I can definitely detect the “Guerlain-ade” there.

Officially, the notes are: California Grapefruit, Italian Bergamot, Neroli, Petitgrain, Black Currant, Patchouli, Vanilla. It’s always so shocking how differently one’s skin chemistry turns a fragrance right around, for better or worse!

Confession: You are about to know WAY more about 1. Lush henna hair dye and 2. my night last night than you ever, ever wanted to know. Get cozy, stay awhile. Before I tell that story, I must share the link to the new LGBT Pride Month Proclamation from President Obama posted on the whitehouse.gov website yesterday. It pleases me – I still need to see more significant action, but I am pleased. Especially with this part (bolding mine):

These issues affect not only the LGBT community, but also our entire Nation. As long as the promise of equality for all remains unfulfilled, all Americans are affected. If we can work together to advance the principles upon which our Nation was founded, every American will benefit. During LGBT Pride Month, I call upon the LGBT community, the Congress, and the American people to work together to promote equal rights for all, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim June 2009 as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month. I call upon the people of the United States to turn back discrimination and prejudice everywhere it exists.

Back to the story. M is in Phoenix on business and last night seemed like the perfect time to commit to appx. 8 hrs. of semi-risky hair experimentation. The objective: To make my newly cut hair shinier (yes, shinier) and a little bit richer and more even in color via one bar of Lush’s Caca Brun Hair Mama Henna. I really wanted to NOT dump more chemicals into my hair b/c, well, it’s gross and not conducive to shininess. Pursuant to the overall advice of countless forum and comment posts I researched, I chucked the bar into the blender with a freshly brewed 1/2 pot of delicious coffee, observed the fact that once blended to the consistency of brownie or cake batter, it looks JUST LIKE GREEN BABY POOP and went to town thoroughly applying the dye with gloves out of my DIY bain marie.

No more than 10-15 minutes after committing my head to a slimy-but-gritty green beehive wrapped tightly with plastic cling wrap, ready for a full night’s sleep, did our building’s fire alarm go off. Dudes, seriously? I was like Eminem on MTV Movie Awards Night: ARE YOU SERIOUS!? ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!??!?!?!?!?!?! Eff. My. Life. It was so worst case scenario it’s not even funny. I got the petite up. Got the puppies together. Grabbed my documents and phone and rummaged through M’s things to put on one of her beanies – A FUCKING BEANIE!!! – over the slime-hive of baby poop death and schlepped downstairs, where all 60 or so of our neighbors waited for the fire dept. to come and investigate and then finally turn the deafening alarms off. When I say deafening, I am not kidding. That shit is louder than standing right in front of a speaker at a Sonic Youth show, and shrill as hell. It cannot possibly be within legal decibel levels.

I suppose I should note that it is common knowledge that REAL fires would trigger the overhead sprinklers, so the only real danger was my total and utter embarrassment. The bldg. was cleared within 10-15 minutes, in the meantime I cooed soothing things to the puppy and repeatedly asked my petite if slime was oozing out of the hat anywhere. She said no, but she was also sleepily giggling at me. Once we were safely back in our loft, I tried to sleep, but woke up every 30 or so minutes from 12:30AM through 5:30AM, at which point I could no longer stand it and got up to rinse all the dye out and shower, while M slept just as fitfully from her hotel room in Phoenix because we are awesomely pathetic like that. She watched an Arizona sunrise, I obtained shinier, more uniform dark brown hair with soft hints of auburn.

But you’ll have to wait until my next blog post to see it!

More fun facts about Lush hair dye:

• They come in four colors – rouge/red, marron/chestnut, noir/black and brun/brown. The results vary wildly by hair type, condition and natural color, but the guarantees are pretty much that your hair will be: shinier, healthier, chemical-free, in terms of color, richer and multi-dimensional.
• People experiment wildly with these – adding DIY, at-home ingredients like paprika, lemon juice, cloves, etc. to the mix and swapping plain hot or boiling water with brewed coffee, red zinger or chamomile or black tea, etc. depending on your desired result. Oils like olive or lavender are also popular additions, as much for shine as texture or scent.
• Next time, I’d probably do a 2:1 ratio of marron:brun or even marron:rouge over my dark, dark hair, because it really seems to make the strands pop like whoa. I envy like hell any blondes/dirty blondes who can get away with their reds – the results are simply stunning, provided you have healthy hair and a decent cut to start with. Like Tori Amos stunning.
• It also seems like some of the added ingredients are meant to help with the smell, which folks whine about A LOT, but for me it was just like an especially earthy and damp green tea.
• Another thing I’d do different next time is buy a few empty hair dye applicator bottles from the beauty store, fill them up with the hot henna mix, and plunk ‘em into near-boiling water (bain marie or whatnot) to make application easier. It’s messier than regular dye, but not THAT much messier.
• People also seem to get more intense results when they babysit it with a blow dryer every 30 minutes or so for 2-3 hrs., as opposed to no heat overnight, like I did, so I’d probably try that as well.

Confession: Tracy at Sole Salon on Bay Street, I love you. Thank you for making sure that my hair is absolutely perfect. You totally made my Summer / Spring 2009. Do y’all know what I did this morning? I showered, twisted a fistful of hair on each side of my part back and clipped it, and pinned the rest up into a messy chignon and set off for a meeting in SF. I put nothing into it except a dollop of shine serum. Several hours later, when I unpinned it, I had the loose, soft-as-hell, shiny waves of a fucking goddess. They were almost spiral waves, in some places. This is totally, totally, totally not even reality in my hair world, except now it IS, thanks to her. I have no idea what she did, but I’m never leaving. HEAR THAT, TRACY!? You’re stuck with me. You’re the one. Incredible. It’s effortless. Effortless! I would do the exact same thing with my hair pre-Tracy and not achieve anything near what I can now.

And that was before she really perfected it a few hours ago this evening. Now my hair is the ultimate force to be reckoned with. Well, it will be after I Lush it to death. That is neither here nor there.

When: Friday, Oct. 17th, 2008

What: LBD from Laundry by Shelli Segal. Black bow headband from Target, silver, black patent and lace pumps by Hollywould for Target. The silver clutch is a Sephora freebie with a coat of arms brooch from Tristan pinned onto it. Silver chains, thrifted and vintage.

Confession: It is very difficult to find and buy fancy bourbon in Memphis. I am so sick right now and cannot really say anything more, but I am glad to be home. A fun close-up of the shoes on the right, y’all.

Oh! Here’s a fun game. Spot the tomboy in the background.

When: Tuesday, October 7th, 2008.

What: Grey pinstriped trousers by Closét, purple sweater from Pop, black top from H&M. Black boots with buckles by Charles David, purple clutch from Fred Flare and belt from Tristan. Fancy wooden toy gun from an antique shop on Main St. in Alameda (belongs to the tomboy).

Confession: Look, I’m going on five hours of sleep after seven hours of Ketel One and a pack of Djarum Blacks. Half a pack! I was in no mood for a debate tonight, but I listened dutifully whilst making homemade nachos in the kitchen. Hence the faux pow-pow! (Hey, someone has to stand in for Palin, that gun-toting hag!)

THAT ONE, McOldz!

I have nothing left to give. Enjoy the photos!

PS. I know I’m holding the gun wrong. If M took me shooting like she promised me years ago when she was trying to get in my pants, I’d be holding it right. Also, if you’d like to take me shooting, pls. sign up here.

When: Sunday, October 5th, 2008.

What: Navy dress with ruffled front from Target, red plaid cape from the Laney fleamarket, coat of arms pin from Tristan. Bag by Emilie M., Gucci scarf, red rose barrette from Tiny Sparkles and navy patent pumps by Nine West.

Confession: I’m so sorry, there is no puppy makeover post. I know, I know. The groomer took one look at the trembling, scared shitless (no, seriously, he pooped in fear), unruly Conor and said, in his elusive South American accent, “No. No, no, no. I no groom him today. No.”

Sigh.

Our special needs puppy is so…special. Alfonso allowed us into the salon, where we talked and let Conor off-leash for about 30 minutes. Alfonso sat on the floor, threw Conor into his lap, and started to snuggle and kiss and pet Conor. It was insane. Gradually, Conor became slightly more comfortable, but Alfonso wants us to drop him off in a few small increments of time – one half hour here, another hour or so there – in the next week or so before he grooms Conor on Friday. He even asked us to leave the two of them alone yesterday while M & I went to get coffee, so we did. There were appx. six other puppies there as well. In the window. THE WINDOW. Just like the song. I swear to God. When we returned (it really did feel like dropping your kid off at preschool for the first time, Best In Show kidding aside), Conor was sitting primly in the window with the other puppies:

Conor asks that you pls. have a little patience, and hopefully there will really and truly be a puppy makeover post next weekend. We also have to ply the wee shy guy (M is trying to rename him “Birdie” which I think is just so rotten) with this flower remedy stuff called Bach. Hand to God, I don’t know why we have two such special dogs. One chases 18-wheelers and the other one hides behind mama’s legs like a little scaredy cat baby.

As B would say, Bless it.

There was also this guy over there, and the other guy down there. Both were part (officially or otherwise) of the Annual Black Cowboy Parade & Festival here in Oakland. The guy who played Don King in Rocky V was there, too. FREAKING AMAZING. Let’s just say that yesterday, more than any other day this year, I needed surprise puppies in windows and ponies in my life, and Old Oakland seemed to know it:

Last night, M & attended a very dear friend’s birthday dinner at a nice little Japanese restaurant in Emeryville. She looked v. handsome with her anime hair and custom-made champagne military coat. I just had to share:

And lastly, yes, my outfit was inspired by the Fall 2008 D&G campaign (though it’s not cold enough yet for tights!):

When: Friday, August 8th, 2008.

What: M’s silver bowtie, vintage. Ruffled white blouse from INC International Concepts, black satin and velvet mini from the Erin Fetherston for GO Int’l / Target collection. Black knee socks from Target and liquid silver booties with ombre wedge heel by Apepazzo. Birdie is from Michael’s, that deadly black suckhole of craft addiction.

Black studded bracelet from Dollywood, rings from Laundry by Shelli Segal, vintage  rhinestone and pearl necklace. Coat of arms pin from Tristan and Swarovski art deco studs from Holland’s amazing Silver Crane Sterling. They are probably my favorite source for pretty and sparkly things, next to Made Her Think.

Confession: It is 3am and I am drunk as preppy skunk in these photos. They were taken after our night out dancing. Also, I was super pissed off that months ago I was all “Ooh! Bowtie as headband!” and during our Jenner mini-break I cracked open that month’s issue of Elle and BLAM! KA-CHOW! there was my goddamn bowtie headband idea. I hate when that happens! I thought of it first, you assholes! (It is possible that I am still ever so slightly boozy.) Anyway, I rocked that shit last night, so there.