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If there was ever a perfect contrast between butch/femme outfits and how they can be so alike and yet so many universes apart, this is one. Same color scheme, similar textures and casualness, but that’s where it ends. This funny thing happened the other week when I, in a Twitter-broadcast hissyfit about seeing something online, wrote: “Dear brides, just a thought: Maybe don’t ask your dyke/androgynous/butch/boi/whatever friends to wear dresses to your fucking wedding. #jerk”

SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING, AM I RIGHT?!

Some poor tomboy was either asking the internet for advice or sighing over what to do about being put in that position, I think, and I blew a (protective mama bear) gasket. It’s just so inconsiderate, in a way that goes far beyond a Bridezilla’s god-given right to every little thing being her way on her special magical unicorn day. Can you imagine someone giving me a stern look and saying, “I’m going to need you to wear pants and tie to this event, Jonesey. And don’t even THINK about wearing makeup.” They’d have a big old black eye in two seconds flat.

We took these on Mother’s Day (which was fantastic). I had to change my outfit because M got the worst allergy attack during our picnic, and afterward we raced home and peeled our outfits off in case we were covered in invisible pollen and took a nap and then put on new ones so that M could treat me to a relaxing mani/pedi at my favorite little nail salon in Potrero Hill. So sweet! She kept me company and they served up some ice cold, delicious sangria!

The chambray shirt is from The Gap, the tailored shorts are vintage from 40 South Street in JP. I super duper love that store. It feels like the kind of vintage spot where if you’ve got a little coin to spend, you will certainly find something to love that’s a perfect fit anytime you stroll in, unlike other vintage boutiques which can feel a lot more hit or miss. The strappy canvas sandals with the tiniest wedge are by Tommy Hilfiger. I don’t know what it is lately, but this Spring/Summer I’ve purchased these shoes and two pretty amazing shirt dresses from old Tommy. I think what they have in common is a kind of nonchalant preppy feel, which I’ve been into this year.

Necklaces! I snuck a Culp Baubles lipstick bullet onto this edgy little chain from JewelMint, which has some pretty neat stuff from time to time, and I encourage you to check it out if you’re a jewelry hound like I am. The bronzed disc earrings were a wonderful little birthday surprise from the lovely Nadarine, a lady of exquisite taste and remarkable…skills with cava.

The creamy enamel bow bracelet seems quite old and was thrifted in JP, and the smoky blue ring I’ve got on is from the magical Pretty Penny in Oakland (an airier, slightly larger version of 40 South Street, actually).

What else is new? Well, we’re officially in escrow, our loan has been approved, we’ve got our cross country route all mapped out for early July, and we’re just keeping all of our fingers and toes crossed for the last little bits – a smooth appraisal, title transfer, things like that. The packing has begun and while there’s still seven weeks before Moving Day, we know time will fly and we’d rather get an early start!

It’s so exciting and bittersweet, too, knowing we’ll have to bid adieu to our family and friends while we set sail on this new adventure in our lives…

That’s all for now, dear readers! Hope you’re all well and gearing up for an excellent summer – can you believe it’s nearly here already? 2012, hold your horses!

XOXO,
FFAF

PS. One last one – this one’s got the San Francisco Bay in the background, with good old Oakland and Alameda off on the other end.

Photo credit: Fancy Pants

HOWDY. I am going on week two of what was supposed to only be Spring Break in Boston, MA. After a week in a hotel, our dear friends kindly opened up their home to me in Jamaica Plain when it was evident that I needed to extend my stay. I somewhat dramatically sent the tomboy and petite back home on their scheduled Saturday flight over a week ago! (Don’t ask. Real estate is a strange and messy, often rather annoying world.)

WELCOME TO UNIFORM, a men’s boutique in Boston’s South End. 

Time has warped and bended and it still takes me a good moment to know which way is up when figuring out what time it is where depending upon whomever I am speaking with, or emailing, etc. and I don’t think I’ve ever been away from the tomboy for this long! I’m pulling my hair out, I can’t stand being away from my girls (and those wonky pups), but I’ve gotten so much done that I can’t honestly complain. Jamaica Plain is a lovely distraction, though, with its sweet little boutiques, incredible food, thrifting and vintage, and the super friendly, small town feel.

Alas, these photos are from an outstanding shop for men (and tomboys) in the South End. My friend Fancy (above) got an invite to a special event they were having yesterday – a tasting of expertly mixed St.-Germain cocktails and a storewide sale! Apparently, shops like Uniform are few and far between, and this one is really special.

It feels very Bay Area (read: Castro) to me, and M would love it – once we’re settled here this summer, I’ll have to bring her back to check it out! So many handsome goodies, and those cocktails were very refreshing on such a warm day. Once we were all shopped out, we snagged a table outside next door at Picco, where I had the best peanut butter chip ice cream ever. (Craving some right now, actually, but I’m pretty sure the cake batter ice cream at trusty old JP Licks will do for tonight.)

The forecast for the first week we were here called for cooler weather, and we packed accordingly. Of course, this weekend’s weather report predicted high temps, which gave me a perfectly legitimate excuse to take a day off from house-hunting to peruse JP’s thrift stores, vintage shops, and boutiques. This was the first day of warm weather (before I had the chance to shop), and the best I could do was a crisp, white, short-sleeved blouse by DKNY paired with James Jeans rolled up at the ankle. My vintage brogues, Asos bag and pony belt brought it all together, and I love the dainty touch of my citrine yellow cocktail ring dangling from a Madewell chain.

Photo credit: Fancy Pants

Photo credit: Fancy Pants

Last but certainly not least, how cool is this pirate kitty below? SO COOL. Such a cuddly and ferocious one-eyed beast. We didn’t know this one, but I’m having a blast snuggling up with the three gorgeous ragdoll cats my friends own. That’s all for now, folks. XOXO!

For some reason, I named this folder “Bunny Bun” in my Picasa, so there you have it. Maybe it’s because this bun is exceptionally fluffy, like a bunny tail. Who can say?! This was taken last Saturday, the kind of sunny, crispy Fall day where you can get away with bare legs, despite the fact that the day before we were all been bundled up in scarves, coats and gloves, braving the bay under surly skies.

I would like a few more of these days before winter takes hold, but the past few have been wrapped in fog thick enough to rile the mournful cries of foghorns, and we’re all braced for 70mph winds due tomorrow. Spooky! At least I’m well, having knocked that awful cold out with drugs or tea or bourbon or all three. (I’m sure M is convinced it’s the sidecar I had at the Lexington that healed me.)

Also? I have a confession: while I was running around today, I felt that sharp, distinct feeling of being ready to get the Christmas tree. Hooray! As I told a friend yesterday, I am SO excited about chopping down our own tree this year. LOOK OUT, YOU PRETTY SONS OF BITCHES, WE’RE COMING FOR YOU SOON! (If only I had this axe with which to chop it, and I must say I do prefer ax over axe, but I feel it behooves me to adhere to the spelling choice made by the company that makes the axes I so desire, alas.)

This is my HEY GIRL HEY face. Hey. So many baubles, where do I begin? Mariele Ivy necklace, the lipstick-y bullet cuff is from a little booth at a Portland market, the earrings are Asos and the ring is from H&M (and technically belongs to M, I believe). I’ve got my vintage Dooney & Bourke bag in tow and cozy brogues on again. The skirt, too, is vintage, and I paired it with my super soft  and very perfect Everlane v-neck tee and Sparkle & Fade cardigan. This was my “Oh, hey, let’s go to the movies!” outfit (and hair and makeup).

Tomorrow is the last day of November, and I would like December to be kinder. November’s been so cruel to far too many people I cherish, and it’s been kind of hard to take. I really want to be mindful of treasuring every single day in the coming month, for it’s the last of 2011! I can’t believe it, and 2012 holds so many uncertain (but exciting!) changes for us.

I’m ready (more than ready, actually), but for now, I just want to cradle this last month like a soft, sweet little kitten.

Love,

FFAF

First things first, today is the 13th annual International Transgender Day of Remembrance, so perhaps take just a moment to honor those no longer with us, support those we’re lucky enough to have in our lives today, and keep fighting transphobia. Amos Mac, of Original Plumbing and Translady Fanzine fame, wrote this touching piece about Gwen Araujo, and our friends at Autostraddle have a wonderful open thread going, and I really recommend checking out both!

Gwen was a 17-year-old local who was murdered in 2002 by four young men in a brutal hate crime, and hers was the first memorial of its kind that I’d ever attended. I remember it being very somber and despondent, and frighteningly unfamiliar (I was so sheltered then, still very much a baby dyke). However, it was also softly and sadly determined, for while a vivacious, courageous transgender teen was gone and would be deeply mourned by many, the community’s response was deafening: Gwen’s life would be remembered and celebrated with a strength that wouldn’t stop until it drowned out the ignorance and hatred that took it away.

Throughout all of this, a high school in Gwen’s town was putting on a production of The Laramie Project, and so an already badly shaken student body and faculty found themselves facing a different type of incomprehensible hate: Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist psychopaths.

I hardly remember how it happened or who I was with, but one night I found myself among the protective circle of Angel Action folks standing outside of the entrance Newark Memorial High School, wearing those big fluffy angel wings in the cold, all of us doing our best to shield the performers and audience members from those rotten sons of bitches. It was a really small, very tiny thing, but doing anything felt better than doing nothing in the wake of a tragedy like that.

(PS. I’m donating 25% of all sales this week to the Transgender Law Center, so go take a peek at my Etsy shop, Loverbirds, and shop for change…social change! Or go and buy an awesome t-shirt from Revel & Riot – a portion of all proceeds go to LGBTQ rights and equality groups, and they’ll make excellent stocking stuffers.)

In other news, it appears I’m getting sick. This is horrific timing, as I have two elaborate desserts to make for Thanksgiving, and a bit of tinkering yet to do for our signature Turkey Day cocktails! We’re also preparing for lots and lots of house guests, and I just haven’t got the time to be sick! DID I MENTION IT’S THANKSGIVING?! I’m lucky to have such a marvelous, caring wife. (She’s already volunteered to make my cheesecakes, and I’m pretty sure I can get her to agree to cocktail taste-testing, too!)

Fingers crossed that it’s nothing several mega-doses of Vitamin C and lots of hot tea and whatnot can’t fix. Let’s chat about this outfit, shall we? I don’t think y’all have this leather skirt from Zara yet, even though I’ve worn it out and about a handful of times since I got it eight whopping months ago. I just wore it out with thick black tights and a neon green collared shirt under a black crewneck sweater, in fact! This time I topped it with an H&M t-shirt and faux fur vest, a pair of Hue tights, and my Dolce Vita platform mules. It’s cold out, so I decided to layer leather on top of leather with my Elie Tahari jacket.

I piled on lots of bracelets and rings, mixed new and vintage necklaces, and grabbed a cheeky vintage bag. We took these on our drenched tennis courts, and I love the watery effect it brought to the photos, don’t you? XO!

We woke up to the wonderful sound of rain falling softly on the roof and down the gutters, the morning light grey and dim. It made us hit the snooze button three times, pretty sure it’s what caused us to eat dessert for breakfast, and why we decided to make a second batch of coffee around noon. It feels like Christmastime!

It’s not, of course, it’s Veteran’s Day and Remembrance Day and 11/11/11 and also the day which most closely resembles corduroy and probably I’ve left something out, but there you go.

I’m just hoping it eases up by tomorrow morning, because we’ve got a two-hour horseback ride situation in Half Moon Bay, M & I. We’re supposed to still show up if it’s just drizzling a little bit, and I’m kind of hoping it does because it sounds dreamy. M would wear her puffer vest and I’d wear one of my faux fur ones with my Ralph Lauren sweater and riding boots and…oh! I’m getting carried away.

A friend of mine noted that it was a perfect day for listening to The Cure’s Disintegration, so I did and it kicked off a little Cure-fest. It’s such a fantastic record, and after it ended I popped in my DVD of The Cure’s Greatest Hits videos. My favorites are Boys Don’t Cry, Lovecats and Cut Here. Some days nothing but The Cure will do!

I love this outfit, it’s all the dark browns and blues and different textures, I think. We’re still in that lovely phase of Fall where bare legs still work as long as one is reasonably bundled up elsewhere, tights optional. Also, this ponytail makes my hair look ridiculously long. It’s not that long, I just had it trimmed not long ago!

See my riding helmet? It’s too tight. I need another one for my big old noggin’, boo. The skirt is Ann Taylor and I adore it. It’s the perfect hue of navy and has a little sheen to the quilted texture, and it fits like a glove. The pussy bow blouse is vintage and a lovely dove grey, the same exact color of today’s sky! The wool blazer with elbow patches is from H&M L.O.G.G. and has the prettiest printed lining (pics below). It’s a colorful kind of paisley with birds situation, really cute.

Y’all know these shoes by now, my Linea Paolo mega-babes, and how serious is this darling little satchel from Asos?! I’m still in love with it. We mean business.

Smoky blue ring from Pretty Penny, rawr necklace from Mariele Ivy. My Remington and pretty Zoya nails in Lo, a warm medium pink with just a smidgen of coral. I hope y’all have super fun weekends planned, check back soon for a little loverbird action – we have matching Everlane tees to show off, whee!

How did things even work before Google calendar? I mean, I’ve used Moleskine diaries more or less for the past ten years but I cannot recall the act – outside of business – of consulting it for my personal or social life. I know I’ve documented things in them (kept most of them, actually – I’m a bit of a packrat when it comes to paper) – but I certainly have no memory of coming home on a Friday night and musing over my entries to see what I had committed to that weekend.

This is all to say that last night at ten to eight, whilst standing in line at Trader Joe’s after happy hour cocktails, my phone alerted me to the fact that we had a show to be at in ten minutes. I was shocked. I’d forgotten about it completely! How could I?! It was Wild Flag! I love Wild Flag.

Long story short, we ended up with tickets to their show tonight instead – we’re lucky they’re playing two nights. I probably would have breezed through the whole weekend without realizing it if it weren’t for Google calendar (and my Android phone).

Or maybe I should digress back into good old pen on paper, after all.

Now to the outfit at hand. Say hello again to my awesome bear tights from Latvian designers QooQoo. The cold is sticking for now, we’ve got rain predicted all weekend, and I’ve got firewood (and books) stacked and ready to go just as soon as it starts to rain. Between that, a kettle of Earl Grey and pumpkin muffins baking in the oven, it’s going to smell like heaven in here very soon.

SWEATER DRESSES ARE HERE TO STAY, HOORAY!

Slow-mo hair toss.

The dress is H&M and I’ve got another in a soft, peachy cream shade. I cinched in the waist with an Yves Saint Laurent obi belt in black suede, and popped on my cuffed and studded black suede ankle boots by Trouvé. The fur collars are vintage, and the big black Union Jack bag in leather is from Betsey Johnson.

Let’s talk about nail polish! I’ve been doing all kinds of super basic but really fun nail designs myself. This set is all Zoya polishes: Cynthia (smoky, blackened peacock teal) with Jinx (warm, coppery bronze) for the tips. I love the color combination. The (truly, truly, truly) outrageous feather earring is from Macy’s and came in a pair, but it’s best to wear just one at a time. I got the nudie friendship bracelet from a lovely gal at Indie Mart here in SF, the ring from Pretty Penny in Oakland, and that’s it!

Have a cozy weekend, y’all.

/FFAF

Howdy, folks. How was everybody’s weekend? Ours was bloody fantastic. A dear friend from Boston came to stay with us and it was non-stop fantastical shenanigans from the minute she arrived Friday night, catching up over hibiscus flower cocktails to our early evening tea and cookies send-off on Sunday. We visited several nearby beaches, accompanied her to get a new tattoo at the stunning Seventh Son tattoo shop in SOMA, moseyed around Half Moon Bay’s pumpkin patches and harvest festival, and enjoyed many delicious meals and stories and laughs. It was a blast!

Our Indian Summer persists, despite what these photos may be telling you. We’ve had a few crispy Fall days here and there, but for the most part our days still hover in the 70s. I was so excited to wear this outfit – a super light silk dress fortified with thick black tights, riding boots and a natty, no-nonsense coat and bag. You’ve seen this dress before, but on a warm Spring day with bare legs and platform mules, so it was fun to turn it into something that works for this time of year, too.

I wanted to show y’all our new front door. It’s such a deep, lacquered mahogany, I love it. We got to pick from around six colors – glossy jet black, red-orange, pale blue, brown and darker beige. Originally, I asked for black, but changed my mind when they told me of the hassle involved. We’ve since decorated the house inside and out for Halloween – a wee bale of hay, lots of pumpkins, oversized pieces of candy corn and vampires and ghosts! I’ll try and get some photos up here soon. So festive!

Dress: Julie Brown
Coat: H&M
Boots: Etienne Aigner
Contrast Satchel: Asos
Foxtail: Dollywood

Necklace: Mariele Ivy
Thorned Cuff: Made Her Think
Earrings: Asos
Fox Ring: Asos / Smokey Ring: Pretty Penny, vintage