Blue Crush | May 9, 2014 | Comments (8)


Stuart! This blazer + our California flag combo makes me giggle because THE CALIFORNIANS.

As you may know, Southern California is a wildly different planet from the California I grew up in (for more on that, just ask Julie Goldman), but happens to be the California where my wife was raised, although she doesn’t share the same allegiance to hers as I have to mine.

In fact, she doesn’t really have an allegiance to any place, not really, and while I generally find her amusing and intriguing, lately this bit is especially so. (Plus, it makes me feel a heady little mix of vague envy and needless, low-grade anxiety.)



I read an essay of sorts this morning that a friend posted about saying goodbye to New Orleans, and it made me wonder about the human impulse to create metaphors for cities as lovers. Heaven knows I’m guilty of it, and the concept certainly lends itself more to some places than others, but I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of home, where the romanticized version intersects with reality, a person’s expectations and how one’s childhood home informs those expectations much later in life.


The author wrote I fear I’m utterly unfit for life anywhere else and I’ve been struggling with that, too. I cherish the soft, dreamy pliancy that comes with spending the first 30+ years of my life in California, but I also haven’t got a feeble bone in my body and never wanted to be the kind of girl who couldn’t leave home. It turns out being the kind of girl who can is a lot harder than it looks.


Shark Prep

On that note, I’m headed west to recharge and get inspired at A-Camp in 10 days! I can’t wait to see familiar faces and meet lots of new ones atop Mt. Feelings, to breathe in fresh mountain air at gloriously high altitudes and get up to all kinds of nonsense in what is forecast to be splendid weather with a few hundred other cabin queers, including a wedding!



But first, Mother’s Day is Sunday! It might be a beach day here, so I’ve got my fingers crossed. This morning M asked me if I wanted a seaside brunch, and my reply was a sleepy “Sandy pancakes, please!”

A big old Happy Mother’s Day to any moms out there, and hugs to everyone who has a tough time with it this year.

‘Pixie’ Pant in Leather Tuxedo Stripe – Hudson | Thin Sweater – UO | Prep School Blazer – Thrifted | ‘Kristen’ Penny Loafers in Wine Suede – Dana Davis | ‘Shark Attack’ Necklace – Nasty Gal | ‘Kieko’ Nail Polish – Zoya

Ciao, kittens!


SBJ @ 1:49 PM

Comments (8)

  • Kat

    I found your blog a few days ago quite by chance–someone linked to someone else who linked to someone, etc.
    This post has so, so, so resonated with me, especially this:
    ” I cherish the soft, dreamy pliancy that comes with spending the first
    30+ years of my life in California, but I also haven’t got a feeble bone
    in my body and never wanted to be the kind of girl who couldn’t leave
    home. It turns out being the kind of girl who can is a lot harder than it looks.”

    I’m an Oakland/Berkeley/SF girl (3rd generation!) who moved to Cambridge,
    MA almost 2 years ago, and have been surprised at how hard it has been.
    And I don’t just mean missing good burritos :)

    Anyway, you’re now on my blog roll, and I can wait to read/see all your latest posts!

  • Hana

    as a Bay Area baby who has hopped all over the country (including Western Mass, southern Oregon, and now Chicago), I know what you mean about home. I’ve especially been thinking about nostalgia a lot – how I always romanticize the small things of the place I’ve just left.
    Also, this will be my first A Camp (can’t wait!!) – and WHAT DO I WEAR TO THE WEDDING??

    • fit for a femme

      I love Chicago. I may be biased, a little, because my mama was born in IL in a Chicago suburb, but it’s a wonderful town. (Disclaimer: I only ever visited in the summer.)

      I’m excited to meet you, and see what you’ve decided for the wedding! You can always check out my wedding posts on Autostraddle for inspiration, or feel free to let me know what you have in mind and I can help you hunt something down!

      • Hana

        Chicago’s currently got a gorgeous thunderstorm goin’ on, so I’m feeling pretty good about the city right now!
        And thanks – I can’t wait to meet you, too! I’m definitely heading over to AS right now to check out your wedding posts! I’m a total tomboy femme and refuse to wear clothes that are fussy or uncomfortable, so I’ll be looking for a simple & flattering dress-type situation :-)

  • lululand

    Loved loved the outfit. I think it would look completely different with high heels!! (also great)

    • fit for a femme

      Thank you! It’d be awesome with heels, too, though I think I’d cuff the jean!

  • ellie

    Ooh, exactly my kind of a colour palette with the outfit :) I used to think I was the girl who can and will move halfway across Europe, on her own at that. Now that I’ve done it, it’s hard to not daydream about the old life- but I’m also in my old country often enough to know that after 2-3 days, I start missing the new life like hell. If I had a choice I know would do the whole moving thing again. But having a new home doesn’t necessarily mean losing the other, you can still remember the good times, go back and have fun. And when that isn’t possible and the home blues get too bad, just remember the things you hated about the old place -I usually remember the creaky stairs, unpleasant neighbours and the howling chimney that used to wake me up at night.

    As for storing the clothes downstairs, if it’s damp? I wouldn’t do it- had too many suitcases end up mouldy. If you have to, though, do put things in those plastic bags from which you can suck the air out, and put those up on some shelves- NOT on the basement floor like yours truly :D

    • fit for a femme

      You’re so sweet! And full of such excellent advice! Thank you so much.

      I do try to look ahead to the excitement and adventure that awaits when we say au revoir to Boston in a few years; surely many cities elsewhere are beckoning for the chance to woo and keep us! In keeping with the theme, I can’t wait to get to know our new suitors.