I’m afraid this post is a misnomer, but let’s don’t talk about it. HOW ABOUT THIS LITTLE DRESS?! It’s so fun and witchy and easy to wear. I got it from a website called tobi awhile back and have worn it a few other times (it’s especially killer with my Sheeba belt), but hadn’t gotten around to posting it yet. Thankfully, we squeezed in a few shots before heading off to see Wild Flag at the Fillmore in San Francisco back in April.

That was an amazing show. It was the second show of theirs we’ve seen and it’s just killer every time. Carrie wore tiny black pants and a very sexy, sheer sleeveless blouse in strawberry red (I wish I knew where she got her blouses, they’re always so nice). She was maddeningly hot, as per usual – there was one new song that is a TOTAL panty-changer, I wish I could find it!

Mary had seriously stepped up her stage presence and was a million times more exciting than she was at their show in November. That was really awesome to see. Fillmore tradition meant there were gorgeous Wild Flag posters handed out at the end of the show, and I can’t wait to get one of ours framed! (Being super bummed about not getting a poster after a Fillmore show should be one of those You Know You’re A San Franciscan When… things.)

We should be talking about Rufus Wainwright’s show at the Fox in Oakland last night, though, because that’s where we were in our fancy 7th row seats. He was resplendent. Though this was the least favorite of the four times I’ve seen him, it was still an amazing performance. (To be fair, you can’t beat the Release the Stars tour outside at dusk with actual fireflies twinkling on a perfect summer’s night, or All Days Are Nights: Songs for Lulu in the tiny, intimate space of the Uptown in Napa.) Of course, that’s got more to do with Mark Ronson’s hand in things, and he I can easily give or take – I think it’s evident in about half the songs on the new album, and even more so when they’re played live. (M thought the band was “cheesy,” and preferred the older material, having not heard the new album yet. I’ve given it a dozen or listens since it was first available on NPR’s First Listen.)

Thankfully, the show was peppered with older tunes like Art Teacher, Poses, April Fools, The One You Love, and 14th Street. One Man Guy was sung with two guests – one of his opening acts, Teddy Thompson (he’s got a beautiful voice) and a very saucy backup songstress – and it was phenomenal. Really, really wonderful.

from the Lulu tour

He opened the show by candlelight with, of course, the song Candles, and it was exquisite. Rufus shows often have this quality at one point or another of having really sacred, holy moments, ones you wish you could live in and feel blessed to get to even if only for the time he’s on stage or that they grip you by the throat in your everyday life, and that was this show’s divine, untouchable moment. Montauk, too, which M refused to believe was off the new album. His mother’s songs were lovingly covered by his supporting acts, and those were a nice reprieve as well.

From the new album, in addition to the ones I mentioned above, I think these are the standouts:

Rashida
Song of You
Respectable Dive
Sometimes You Need
WWIII

In summary, it was a fantastic night (with just a touch too much debauchery), and we bought a beautiful handmade, autographed poster. I’ll show y’all soon!

Outfit stuff!

Dress: Tobi
Leather: Zara
Gold Pyramid Tights: Anna Sui
Grosgrain Ribbon Pumps: Christian Siriano for Payless
Vegan Studded Clutch: Matt & Nat
Necklaces: House of Harlow 1960 (triangle), Jewelmint (long mixed metal chain), Madewell (dainty gold chain)
Earrings: Asos

Wow, that’s a whole lot of…stuff.

Mother’s Day is tomorrow and I am a mother! It should be nice. We have a four-generation extravaganza planned – a morning champagne toast at my grandmother’s in Cole Valley, followed by a mimosa brunch picnic with my mother nearby, and finally, a relaxing evening at home – M and the petite are going to cook coq au vin for me! I can’t wait!

XOXO,

FFAF

That’s right, FFAF has finally landed at Instagram.

Feel free to follow along at fitforafemme

XOXO,

FFAF

Is it seriously May already? I’ve been busy getting an exciting event off the ground with Miss Rep, buried under real estate – we fought and won our first bidding war ever just yesterday - and of course dealing with the things that come with wrapping up a school year for the petite and trying to get started packing for a move that’s bearing down on us like a freight train.

These photos are actually from March 31st, plus my hair’s been cut for two weeks and it’s kind of funny to post these – there’s just one more in the queue before we get to the new style – I barely recognize myself! When my hairstylist stepped back to check out her work, she put her hands on her hips and exclaimed, “I can’t even IMAGINE you with long hair anymore! It’s crazy!” and it is, a little bit. All the light and painted bits have been hacked away for the most part.

These printed jeans were one of those “I’m not sure about this, but I’m doing it anyway” Target purchases (I know you know what I’m talking about). Since then I’ve gotten two black Everlane belt (hush) and no longer have to steal the tomboy’s belt for my tomboy femme outfits. I certainly have seen snazzier, still affordable pairs of animal print skinnies at Zara, but oh my god are these soft. Like pajama soft. Basically, these pants = my sweats. Just thinking about them makes me feel snuggly and cozy. That’s the real reason I’ve held onto them!

I cannot for the life of me remember what brand this camp shirt is, but I got it Sports Basement I think. I have a similar gauzy white one as well and they’re fantastic because they’re loose and slouchy but unfussy, breathable cotton. Sometimes it’s nice not to fuss over silks! Pairing it all with the tough suede ankle boots (Trouvé) and my Cynthia Rowley bag were easy choices, and so were the Asos earrings and my leathery Mariele Ivy necklace. I added chunky rings and a silly leather cuff with a bullet on it that I got in Portland two years ago, and that’s about it. Hope you liked it!

Now please tell me all of your outstanding weekend plans – Cinco de Mayo, Derby Day – because I’ve got nil. The tomboy is in Boston (it’s her turn – apparently, we’re taking them now) and has a derby party to go to with friends and I’m green with jealousy (though I won’t envy her marching off to a parade of open houses come Sunday). They’ve been infusing bourbon with mint! So fancy! Another friend of mine has pledged to reveal a DIY derby hat so fantastical that we’re all going to fall over in awe, and I can’t wait to see what she and her crafty little hands have done this time.

I’m just hoping I can take a break from the 300 pages I have to read for a Sunday book club brunch to see that big old super moon rise over the Oakland hills!

XOXO,

FFAF

After the last post’s riveting saga of the perfect leather jacket, I figured we could all use some cute kittens, don’t you think? I have to once again give credit where credit is due, for the magical jade sunroom and eggplant purple loveseat belong to our fabulous friends and generous hosts in Jamaica Plain. Well, technically the loveseat is the domain of Sir Teddy James – hence the cat fur all over my cords – you’ll meet him a bit later on.

The house hunt continues mercilessly, by the way, and M is headed back out there in a week or so to start from square one all over again. We’ve tried to buy two separate houses and both times our inspector has rescued us from walking into an utter money pit. He doesn’t come cheap, but his work is so thorough and remarkable that it more than pays for itself. He’s saved us from throwing away tens of thousands of dollars (that’s just in repairs and fix-it work; in reality it’s potentially so much more) and we love him to death.

I am not ready to talk about the rest of it. It’s too much! I had to bow out of Camp Autostraddle because everything has gone awry with regards to timing! But eventually you can bet your ass that there will be a FFAF Guide to Buying a Home, and you’ll be the first to know. Until then, read on for a short list of my most entertaining tweets on the subject (and, of course, KITTENS)…

WEEK ONE: PROPERTY VIRGINS

• Our agenda for the day involves seeing a dozen houses. We’re halfway done. Brookline is leading the pack – a total dark horse!
• Last day of house-hunting.*
• Something special we saw out house-hunting. Aren’t they the most amazing pillows you’ve ever seen?

WEEK THREE: HOME SWEET HOME (FOR NOW)

• Terrifying thought of the day: 10 weeks until our lease is up.
• This is what it looks like when you take notes at a home inspection when the house was built in 1869.
• My new favorite group of people to hate furiously are cheap, neglectful, corner-cutting homeowners.
• The first inspection report was 65 pages long. The second is 73 pages long. I’m not complaining, I’m just noting.
• Quote of the day (courtesy of our agent): “It’s really a crapshoot as to which week will ultimately offer The Perfect Home. Roll them dice!”

So there you have it. I’m wearing a pair of Gap cords with a white DKNY blouse (and its sweet little Peter Pan collar). The black terry sweatshirt is from my beloved Everlane, and the shoes are vintage. The ring is from I have no idea where and the chain is Madewell. On my wrist are a variety of random gold bangles and my b/w Betsey Johnson cuff, as well as an IndieMart friendship bracelet and a vintage ring from Pretty Penny in Oakland.

The gorgeous purebred ragdoll’s name is Rani Robinson-Mawhinney and you can follow her on Facebook, if you are so inclined, but I don’t recommend it – she’s kind of a snob.

This cuddly little guy’s name is Teddy James (he’s not little) and he’s kind of my favorite. Obviously, if I’m posting a photo of the two of us and I don’t have a lick of makeup on, it must be love. Just look at how happy we are together! YAY! Until next time, my friends! XOXO!

Despite today’s coast-to-coast temps that felt a lot more Summer than Spring, one-and-a-half weeks ago I woke up to a rather chilly day in Boston – hence the cozy black sweater dress (H&M), snuggly moss green tights (H&M), and tough girl leather jacket (Zara). Isn’t this room lovely?

Our friends recently painted up their warm, roomy rowhouse, and the accent wall you see is a super versatile rosy brown that changes hue with the day’s light, looking plummy at dusk, or like melted chocolate in the morning. It was so inspiring for thinking of how to fill up the blank walls at our soon-to-be new home in New England. So many ways to play with color, and we want to experiment with them all: paint, wallpaper, re-staining the wood floors, whitewashing cabinets, etc.

I AM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS NEW LEATHER JACKET FROM ZARA.

I cannot tell you how many months I’ve been searching for it. At least a year, probably longer. I picked a vintage motorcycle jacket up at Afterlife in the Mission last April, but the shoulders were too broad and overpowered my frame, so I let it go in a clothing swap (after wasting months telling myself I’d take it to be altered somewhere – ha!).

I wanted something and true to the motorcycle jacket look – the heavy, wide lapels, a narrow collar, all the zippers and snaps and especially the built-in belts that could be left hanging loosely or snapped tight – but at the same time I wanted it to be fitted, as if it had been tailored just for me, and of course I wanted it to be gloriously soft, supple leather.

I kept bemoaning the insanely expensive jackets I loved at Reiss and AllSaints, pouting at the so-so offerings from Topshop and Asos, telling myself it wouldn’t  be that bad if I settled.

But then! Wandering around Newbury Street on my birthday, we couldn’t ignore the siren call of their lovely Zara store and walked in to have a peek. It’s the last place I’d expect to find exactly the leather motorcycle I desired, but there I spotted it, tried it on, and it was a match made in heaven. I was totally in love, but then came that decisive moment – I checked the leather: lambskin (phew) and then the price tag – not exactly a steal, but not highway robbery, either. Oh dear.

There was a bit of handwringing on my part, but because it was my birthday the tomboy very sweetly and lovingly and happily insisted on treating me, and who was I to resist? I couldn’t possibly. It was perfect! (Did I say it was perfect?)

Anyway, if I had to pick an article of clothing as my spirit animal, this would be it, and if any unauthorized persons come anywhere near it, PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT I CARRY A BLADE. It’s very sharp.

Let’s chat about some of the other accessories happening with this outfit – serious riding boots (Etienne Aigner), an earthy necklace (Mariele Ivy), a friendship bracelet from IndieMart and vintage ring complement a simple but thoughtful cold-weather look. Hope you enjoyed it! I’ve actually got quite a few posts in the queue, so they should be coming along a bit more regularly now that I’m back home. I have a new haircut to debut as well!

Cheers,

FFAF

HOWDY. I am going on week two of what was supposed to only be Spring Break in Boston, MA. After a week in a hotel, our dear friends kindly opened up their home to me in Jamaica Plain when it was evident that I needed to extend my stay. I somewhat dramatically sent the tomboy and petite back home on their scheduled Saturday flight over a week ago! (Don’t ask. Real estate is a strange and messy, often rather annoying world.)

WELCOME TO UNIFORM, a men’s boutique in Boston’s South End. 

Time has warped and bended and it still takes me a good moment to know which way is up when figuring out what time it is where depending upon whomever I am speaking with, or emailing, etc. and I don’t think I’ve ever been away from the tomboy for this long! I’m pulling my hair out, I can’t stand being away from my girls (and those wonky pups), but I’ve gotten so much done that I can’t honestly complain. Jamaica Plain is a lovely distraction, though, with its sweet little boutiques, incredible food, thrifting and vintage, and the super friendly, small town feel.

Alas, these photos are from an outstanding shop for men (and tomboys) in the South End. My friend Fancy (above) got an invite to a special event they were having yesterday – a tasting of expertly mixed St.-Germain cocktails and a storewide sale! Apparently, shops like Uniform are few and far between, and this one is really special.

It feels very Bay Area (read: Castro) to me, and M would love it – once we’re settled here this summer, I’ll have to bring her back to check it out! So many handsome goodies, and those cocktails were very refreshing on such a warm day. Once we were all shopped out, we snagged a table outside next door at Picco, where I had the best peanut butter chip ice cream ever. (Craving some right now, actually, but I’m pretty sure the cake batter ice cream at trusty old JP Licks will do for tonight.)

The forecast for the first week we were here called for cooler weather, and we packed accordingly. Of course, this weekend’s weather report predicted high temps, which gave me a perfectly legitimate excuse to take a day off from house-hunting to peruse JP’s thrift stores, vintage shops, and boutiques. This was the first day of warm weather (before I had the chance to shop), and the best I could do was a crisp, white, short-sleeved blouse by DKNY paired with James Jeans rolled up at the ankle. My vintage brogues, Asos bag and pony belt brought it all together, and I love the dainty touch of my citrine yellow cocktail ring dangling from a Madewell chain.

Photo credit: Fancy Pants

Photo credit: Fancy Pants

Last but certainly not least, how cool is this pirate kitty below? SO COOL. Such a cuddly and ferocious one-eyed beast. We didn’t know this one, but I’m having a blast snuggling up with the three gorgeous ragdoll cats my friends own. That’s all for now, folks. XOXO!

Did you guys know about this super fun, super silly contest sponsored by Dyke Duds and Unbound Apparel? Well, now you do, so enter – you have until April 8th! It’ll be a riot and yours truly is judging, so gird thy loins, etc.

We’ve been in Boston all week and it’s been complete real estate madness! Thankfully, we took yesterday off – my birthday! – to take our first real breaths and r e s t since we arrived last Sunday. Here’s a little photo of us gallivanting around the Charles with all the trees in bloom, and one of the view from our room last night – the view was absolutely breathtaking.

Now we’re spending our last days here with our dear friends in Jamaica Plain, and earlier tonight we walked around the whole pond at sundown and it was lovely. Those are photos 4 & 5. They gave us Easter baskets and are treating us to homemade mac + cheese for dinner tonight, and we’re happy as little clams.

Photo #3 is just to illustrate that out here, even the radiators are beautiful!

More news when we return to SF!

XOXO,

FFAF

Did somebody order a party in a box? Booze, snacks, citrus, mixers, ice…anyone?

This is going to be a carefree, to-the-point post, considering the fact that I am on a plane to Boston from San Francisco and ever so slightly buzzed from a few friendly  mimosas. I guess you could call this a companion post, as it picks up with the tomboy where the last post left off – same day, same round of festivities with friends, a lot more masculine. Welcome to M’s “Did somebody say ‘brunch’?” ensemble.

She takes a pair of khakis from Men’s Express and makes them all kinds of handsome, and as far away from the dull, lazy Silicon Valley stereotype as a person could get, I think, by pairing them with an Elie Tahari dress shirt (a soft, bluish grey) and cardigan bought new from Crossroads – she can’t remember whatever obscure brand it is, but she found it at their College Ave. location and wishes she’d snagged the grey version as well!

All brought together by a haphazard, undone bow tie (of course, it didn’t start that way, but you know us…plus, a lovely member of our group felt under-dressed, so being a gentlemen, she graciously undid it on the spot to help her feel more at ease). No idea where this bow tie came from, btw. We’ve racked our brains and not much can be done about it, as we are 36,792 feet in the air. Whomp.

The shoes are from Aldo and this was their last hurrah, actually, she’s currently eyeing a pair from Mr. B’s Gentlemen’s Boutique, in case any of you dear readers have words on their quality and whatnot – apparently there are three shops in Boston where we can find them (compared to just two in SF). You’ll recognize her Dior Homme glasses, although soon I imagine you’ll be seeing her new prescription pair of Ray-Ban Cockpit sunglasses.

That’s it! And just for fun, some mushy loverbird photos at Jack London Square, taking by Autostraddle’s fearless leader herself, the incredibly talented Riese!

We’ll keep you posted on our New England house-hunting trip, kiddos! Hopefully, there will be time to sneak in a few shoots.

XOXO,
FFAF

Spring is here, or so I’m told. It doesn’t look it from where I am – there’s still quite a chill in the air and our skies have that diffused, bright grey overcast I have always found to be the most irritating of all our Bay Area weather quirks. We’ve had bits of unseasonable warmth here and there, and were hit with a great big walloping storm last weekend, but I think my thick black tights underneath the frothy, pleated pink of this sweet dress (despite the sunshine) tell the whole story!

I’ve definitely been quietly collecting Spring essentials, though – another pleated dress in a bold, sunny yellow, two pairs of skinny jeans in bright teal and magenta, a breezy, grass-green camp shirt, wedge sandals color-blocked with a soft dove grey suede and lemon chiffon patent leather (and a clutch to match), and a few preppy cotton shirt dresses – but I’m most excited about the necklace I’ve got on here – a punchy H&M steal at $12.95 – and some new additions to my makeup drawer from MAC.

Several years ago I took my BFF to one of her initial visits to Sephora, and one of the MUA grabbed a tube of Nars lipstick, popped it on the BFF, and the effect was amazing. It was a really simple color, just a dusty, rosy pink, but it was one of those transformative shades with my friend’s complexion. It looked so beautiful! Foolishly, I tried on the color immediately, and of course it wasn’t the same.

Well, last week I wandered into the MAC pro store in the Marina (please don’t ask me what I was doing in the Marina) and the MUA helping me came at me with this horrible, frightening orange lipstick. I was instantly suspicious, but I tried it on anyway.

EGADS! Glory, thy name is Korean Candy, and the perfect companion blusher is Optimistic Orange. 

The effect of either/both with my skin tone is kind of miraculous. The lipstick is a glossy, super lightweight and wearable orange-y red, and the blush is a creamy shock of bright coral. The latter requires a very light hand, but even when the MUA painted on two big, bratty stripes over my cheekbones, it was still kind of cool. I love both shades so much it makes me want to eschew the rest of my makeup for Spring! Just a little foundation mixed in with sunscreen, tons of mascara, and my orange-y babes right here.

I’m still on the hunt for the following – let me know if you’ve seen anything good lately:

• a full skirt in a deep tan shade
• grass-green pumps or wedge sandals
• a proper leather motorcycle jacket
• a sweet, girly blouse or tank in yellow

We should chat about this outfit! I got this dress on a whim from an odd little boutique in Emeryville called Lola. There are only about a half-dozen of them in the states, by the makers of BCBG. Between the swiss dots, pretty blush color and pleated skirt, I couldn’t resist. The bow belt, necklace and faux leather jacket are all H&M. The studded boots are Trouvé, the studded clutch Matt & Nat. My watch is Citizen, and the talon ring and thorned cuff are by Made Her Think. The faux bamboo shades are vintage!

I CAN’T WAIT TO WEAR THIS DRESS BARE-LEGGED WITH A PONYTAIL AND SWEET LITTLE BALLET FLATS. HINT, HINT. 

Also, I would just like to add that these photos were taken by M at Jack London Square in Oakland. We really love Oakland and were so happy to spend a breezy, carefree day there with friends recently. So many outstanding memories from when we lived there, and it’s kind of amazing how much of our history still seems to float and crackle in its air, still very much alive – we would look at one another and the remembering was almost a physical sensation between us! How is that possible?! We don’t know, but we are sure we’ll lay down roots there again someday.

Who else is counting down the days until The Hunger Games movie?! We have tickets to the midnight showing (I may have mentioned that before) and I cannot think of anything else.

XOXO,

FFAF

Hey, remember when that was the hugest lesbian anthem ever and I refused to engage until that one time at the Lex when just the right amount of bourbon and peer pressure collided and suddenly I was stomping and singing and flailing along with the rest of ‘em, verse for verse? Yeah.

Remember that month I posted every single day and then it was February 2012 and I dropped off the face of the earth?! ACK!

Well, I’m back. If things look a little bit strange, it’s because almost a week ago I became the smug owner of a brand new Macbook Air laptop, forever altering the course of my strictly-PC home machine existence, giving my wife a perpetual excuse to be irritated with me, and the petite endless opportunity to ridicule me (just last night she tucked $25 into my faux-leather oversized envelope, which is where my new baby sleeps at night, because, as she said, “I didn’t want to leave it on the table because you might not notice it, and I knew if I left it there you’d find it right away,” to which I snort – Kids!) It’s called attachment parenting for a reason, guys.

Anyway, I am mostly smitten. It’s gorgeous, light as a feather, speedier than a femme on a shopping spree and great big barrels of fun. I was and remain highly annoyed that the incredible Photoscape is Windows-only, and has royally screwed with my photo editing rhythm, particularly with FFAF material. I’ve test-driven around a dozen different Mac-specific photo editors and related tools (a combination of free trials and apps I’ve paid for), but none suit me as well as Photoscape did. It’s nothing against Mac apps or programs, some of them are pretty and have great features, they just aren’t as tailored to my process as Photoscape is (which is another way of saying I grew very dependent upon it). It’s been trial and error! Every time I curse aloud because one app let me down and I have to pay to try another M is on her side of the couch, snickering about “Apple money pits” and such.

If worse comes to worst (or worst to worse – I can never remember which it is), I’ll just run Windows and that’ll be that!

Enough tech talk. Yesterday was International Women’s Day! Hopefully you’ve had your fun looking at this amazing collection of GIFs, and have paid very close attention to the sobering and inspiring data wonderfully captured in this Miss Representation video + infographic. I thanked my lucky stars that I get to be involved with such an incredible and life-changing organization, and am happy to say that I’ll be volunteering there a solid 3 days a week (at least until we move). I’ve worked for many nonprofits in my life and I have to say, none have felt as purposeful and impinging as this! I also feel that they are as grateful for me as I for them, and that’s lovely, too.

Let’s see, what other updates have I got for y’all?

• we saw some dear friends off on their move from the Bay Area to Savannah, GA – bacon-wrapped meatballs were involved, and they were delicious
• celebrated my mother’s birthday in fancy box seats at the Golden Gate Fields race track, where we placed bets, sipped bourbon, and successfully smuggled in a decadent birthday cake – layers of vanilla chiffon with a fresh raspberry and cream filling, and cream cheese frosting!
• enjoyed a delicious Brazilian supper at a post-holiday work party for M’s company the night of the Oscars
• finished reading The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, which we both hated immensely (and get to say as much at tonight’s book club meeting!)

This weekend is full of fun stuff with out-of-towners! Tomorrow morning we’re brunching with a group of dear friends in Jack London Square (remember when we used to live there?), and in the evening meeting up with a different set in the Mission for Humphrey-Slocombe ice cream, a bluegrass show and dinner at Tacolicious. We can’t wait! Sunday will be spent, I’m sure, recovering from said shenanigans and lazily catching up on our real estate literature.

The clothes! Let’s chat about that. I adore this sweater and it slipped right in with the whole tomboy femme thing I was going for. (This is as tomboy as I get, people, just go with it.) I snagged it at last month’s clothing swap! Also, there are no words for how much I love my new Dooney & Bourke bag.

Sweater: Sag Harbor
Private School Blazer: Thrifted
Denim: Denim & Supply by Ralph Lauren
Riding Boots: Etienne Aigner
Bag / Scarf: Dooney & Bourke / Gucci
Pony Belt: Urban Outfitters
Sunglasses: Vintage
Watch: Michael Kors
Necklace: Mariele Ivy

Have a fantastic weekend, everyone! XOXO!